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Ask for help! And don't feel like you need to entertain. Give them a baby and leave the room so you cant entertain. They'll not only understand, but they'll be very happy to have a baby to hold and care for.

Have you thought about reflux for the fussy baby? Is there spit up? Is the fussy more after feedings? Especially if he's been on his back after a feeding?

I just wanted to say to hang in there! You're doing a great job, mama! I'm sure helping is exactly what grandparents are dying to do right now. When I would go visit after my niece was born, I would ask to get up with her in the night because I wanted that time with her; my point is with newborns, family usually considers taking care of the baby the entertainment, so don't worry about entertaining! Good luck transitioning when DH goes back to work!

It got better for me after the first month. I just wasn't so nervous about everything!

Hang in there!

def ask people for help, they will gladly want to. my dad loves when my lo is there with him, he gives him his bottle, and holds him the whiole time. i cant pry that baby off him. also another thing noticed that helped is if someone just took over for an hour taking care of P while i got a break to relax. i felt very refreshed afterwards.

First off, you are doing a better job than you even know. So, keep up the great work! It gets easier and better (and fun-er). I agree with everyone, ask for help. And just know, everything is just a phase (the good and the bad) so just be present in the moment. And lastly, YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! I'm sure of it

I really disliked breastfeeding in the beginning because I felt like a milk machine and not a mommy or even a human. I definitely had my share of crying more than a few days because I was overwhelmed. I think the only thing that got me through it was that my mom and one of our friends kept telling me it would get better...for us, the first 6 weeks were rough but after that point it got SO much better!

And I know you said you can't drive, but as soon as you can, go out grocery shopping for an hour by yourself. It's like a mini vacation and will refresh you!

AGH! So I've typed this post TWICE, and it keeps getting deleted. Its my own fault, but its so frustrating.

I remember the first month really well-what I found to be a lifesaver was a quick walk around the block. It seemed help LO's mood too! Starting at two weeks PP, I'd load up LO in the bob and take a quick walk around the block. It seemed to energize me and really take the edge off. I also was so fortunate to have my mom come and stay with me-she handled the cooking, the cleaning and the laundry...and that gave me time to spend with caroline! and remember, being a mom is really hard (and a mom to multiples=really hard!) but you're doing a great job! and its ok to ask for help!!!

@Shimmer: Hang in there. Twins is no easy feat. Most moms have the same feelings with only one. All I can say is it does get better. I had a panic attack when I thought about my husband going to work and leaving me with three babies. But you can do it. Take breaks when you need it and ask for help. Everyone has already said it but I am sure the grandparents are dying to get their hands on those babies. And honestly most grandparents don't care if they are fussy. They just want to love on them. I can not stress this enough YOU DO NOT NEED TO ENTERTAIN! as a matter of fact they probably want to help you. Let them worry about meals and entertainment. That's what most people expect when offering to help.

My greatest relief was a shower. Whenever anyone offered me time that is what I would do. In the bathroom with the shower on I could not hear the crying or fussing and guests would leave me alone. I would take 20-30 minute showers and then come out refreshed and ready to take on my baby responsibilities.

Congrats on doing so wel, thus far! I will echo pps and say that it is normal.to feel overwhelmed and emotional. I wanted to add, though, as soeone who also has trouble asking for help, that it might be nice to set up a time that your relative can come over, like every wednesday afternoon, so that you can both count on it. That way you dont have to debate about if you really really need the help today, and you can look forward to the break.

Ir also sounds like you have more than one family member around, so maybe one could watch the boys and the other could drive you to get a smoothie or some kind of treat...just brainstorming to get you out of the house.

Good luck and be gentle with yourself!

Hang in there sweetie! My first few weeks were crazy overwhelming to me too. For your fussy boy...my son is generally fussier than my daughter, and we realized two things for him. One, he gets crabby when he is hot, and he gets warm easily. He would chill when we'd rock him in front of a fan or the open window in the evening. And he is also a long eater... he likes to eat, burp, eat, diaper, eat, doze, burp, eat and so on. So evwn if he's just eaten, watch for cues that he might still be hungry.

And do whatever you can to take care of yourself! Showers are awesome, naps are critical, and maybe try taking morning or evening walks outside since you cant drive yet. We try to get fresh air everydayand its a huge gamechanger.

On hubby going back to work.....im still nervous for that part myself. My dh goes back next week. But ive been practicing watching the kids for a few hours at a time myself and its really upped my confidence. Something to consider.

It will get easier,but you are doing an amazing job now too!

@Shimmer: It might be worth calling the doctor and asking about the reflux thing. There is a such thing as silent reflux where there is no spit up involved. Is he on his back a lot other than diaper changes? That could be why he doesn't like the diaper changes..... being on their back hurts their belly. For a long long time people kept telling me that it was normal for my LO to be fussy like that, it was just fussy baby, it was gas, and she was constipated a lot so we thought it was her hurting from that. But eventually it got to the point where I knew it had to be something more and life was sooooooo much better after that because we got her on meds, we stopped putting her on her back and tummy after feedings, and we were able to manage it until she grew out of it. I had my days where I wanted to toss my LO out the window because all she was doing was cry (obviously I would never do that!) and I couldn't imagine how you manage with two! Hopefully you figure out what's wrong soon!

Those first couple weeks are rough no matter what, and I think that's especially true if you're breastfeeding and can't get help with feedings (not sure if this is an option for you, but - per the recommendation of our lactation consultant- I started pumping right away and LO got one bottle per day from someone else of pumped milk, which let me have a little extra sleep time or "me" time).
I only had one, but I had SO much help. I wasn't alone with LO for more than one work day till he was like 6.5 weeks old. For the first week and a half I had my mom and DH, then just DH for another week and a half, and then when DH went back to work I had my mom come back and then DH's godmother.
Both of them just LOVED the opportunity to hang out with the baby, and I think they appreciated it when they got him to themselves without a stressed out new mom hanging over them. They changed diapers, they burped LO, they rocked him, they played with him- there were a lot of days when pretty much any time I wasn't feeding LO, I passed him off to someone else. Plus they were great about bringing me food and drinks while I was stuck nursing on the couch for 45 minutes, they did laundry, they cooked, they ran errands... what really saved my sanity was the fact that the only thing I ever had to focus on was feeding the baby (which I literally did for like 10 full hours every day).
I think if you can get over the aversion to asking for help, it will make your life a lot easier, plus I'm sure your family is dying to have some quality baby time!

I second what everyone else has said. It's so hard to get help when you are just figuring out what you need. At 12 days old, I suggest having someone take your babes for a walk. They will probably fall asleep outside, and you won't have to worry about them fussing. While they are out, you need to take a nap (even if you don't feel like it, even if it's only 30 minutes). It was so tempting for me to try to clean something, or watch TV or do something fun, but it's so important to rest. That will help!

you have to get over not wanting to ask for help! As much as we hate it, new motherhood is one of the most vulnerable times of our lives. You do need people you trust with your life to be there to support you.

One night my mom came over around 9pm, took my baby until 12:30-1am so that DH and I could sleep..together. It was wonderful!! I couldn't have asked for a better gift.

People want to help. Everyone LOVED being able to hold my baby, and I LOVED being able to get some sleep!

@Shimmer: I am a mom of twins. Although I was overjoyed with the birth of my girls, the first eight weeks were the most toughest days of my life. I was not clinically depressed...my therapist said the disease I had was twins (LOL!)

Here are some things I did to keep myself emotionally and mentally healthy:

-Ask for help or hire help. I either had a family member or my nanny with me everyday (even if it just for a couple of hours everyday). The one day I was alone with the babies all day, I got physically sick from fatigue and stress.
-When visitors come to your house, you are not to play hostess. Your visitors are there to help you - they should either bring you diapers or a meal, clean up, or help you with the babies, etc. You are not there to entertain guests. You are in crisis mode with two young babies.
-Go out for one hour everyday by yourself. I liked to take walks and listen to music.
-Do little things to make your life easier. For example, use paper plates/bowls so you don't have to do dishes.
-Talk to a lactation consultant and try tandem BF'ing. It will save you time. It wasn't for me, but I hear it does get easier if you keeping trying it. And if tandem feeding doesn't work out, then you can also pump. That way other helpers can bottle-feed your babies and give you a break. You can also supplement with formula so you don't feel so much pressure to produce breastmilk. Or you can just switch to formula altogether. Your babies will do fine either way. It's most important for you to be happy.
-I joined a new moms support group through my hospital. I didn't feel so isolated knowing that there were other moms out there who were going through the same ordeal.
-I also found a mentor through my local Moms of Multiples club who gave me a lot of advice in the beginning.
-Keep telling yourself that "this too shall pass." It DOES get easier. For me, it got easier at eight weeks. Then at 3 months, it got even better once the babies were sleeping through the night! You'll eventually have less and less feedings overnight and you won't feel as sleep-deprived.

I know the days feel long and hard right now, but try to enjoy this time with your newborns. It goes by so fast.