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I wouldn't have minded it if it was just to get the families together and celebrate. But the gift grabby part of it puts a really bad taste in my mouth. I'd have the same reaction as you at that point.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. My initial reaction matches your sentiments. I don't feel it's right to go on an elope and then decide a year later that you want gifts so you're going to have a reception.

However, for the sake of family harmony I would do my best to be cordial and maybe send a card with some sort of gift (gift card?)...Nothing too expensive but just something. Also, I probably wouldn't go either because of the baby.

I've known people who eloped but still had a reception however none of them waited an entire year without reason (one couple were both in the military, eloped right before he deployed then had a reception when he returned). I agree with others that the greediness in her statement matches your reaction. However for the sake of family I would probably send a card and a small token (perhaps since they have poor money management skills a $25 gift card to a grocery store or something just as practical).

It's not the eloping then having a reception that gets me because I don't mind when that happens...some people want a more intimate ceremony with a big party after. However, I do think there's a time limit on such a thing and a year is definitely past that point. Especially when it's clear that it's just for gifts.

I probably wouldn't make it a high priority to attend, if I was free that night I might consider going. I would give a relatively small gift but nothing that can be wasted (money or a gift card). I would get something from their registry or something I felt they needed. If they want to go through the hassle of returning the gift to waste it on something that's fine, they still had to work for the money to waste it then.

I understand doing this if you had to elope for a reason (such as a kid, military, etc) and doing a reception later. But I wouldn't expect guests to bring gifts later.

I think you have a good excuse not to go, but even if you did go, just bringing something small (bottle of wine, gift card, etc) I think would be appropriate.

DH and I eloped, but had a wedding ceremony+reception 6 months later. I felt a little odd having the wedding, but it was nice having all of our friends adn family come to celebrate with us. It was also nice having a pastor officiate the wedding since our court wedding was a civil ceremony.

I didn't care about the gifts and etc.. so the fact that your cousin in law is doing it for the gifts is kinda shitty, but! I understand where she's coming from..?

I think having a reception later is fine if there's a reason for it. But, saying it's partly for the gifts is certainly not good etiquette!

I would however send a gift if you didn't send one when they got married. I always give a gift even if they chose to elope. It's still a marriage, and I try to always celebrate that if it's someone I'm close to.

I think that sounds like a "have your cake and eat it too" situation, as others have said. I can understand delayed receptions for military, visa, health, etc. reasons...but decisions have consequences. Not hosting a reception means you probably will get less gifts. Deciding a year later to do so basically just for gifts would totally rub me the wrong way.

I have nothing against people eloping and having a reception later..within reason. I think after 1 year, that is too late, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and the reception was actually in the plans at the time of the wedding! I don't think you can just go back and decide you want all this attention a year after the fact.