persimmon / 1121 posts
@snowjewelz: I can totally see that line!! Can't wait till you test again! Congrats!
persimmon / 1481 posts
@snowjewelz: Holy Moly!! I'm so excited for you! That looks like a BFP to me!!
pomegranate / 3045 posts
@snowjewelz: Ahhh looking good!! I can't wait for you to test with a FRER!!!
kiwi / 560 posts
@snowjewelz: I appreciate your sentiments, but don't be silly!!! Post your BFP's away girl I don't mind at all and certainly want you other ladies to have your BFP moments! and Congrats!!!
I plan on sticking around this Newbie TTCers board, especially since I'm not sure what month I'll be POASing again. You ladies are the best!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Kbee: haha I really feel for you.. I was so upset when I read your update and DH was like "you don't know her..." And I was like "you don't understand the connection we have on HB!"
Thanks ladies for all the encouragement!! I told DH about the test but emphasizes I probably messed it up lol. So he didn't seem to think anything of it.. It would be amazing to get a dark line tomorrow, since it's his birthday!
Weirdly tho, I'm also really okay with it if it turns out to be nothing. I think it's the vacation effect haha.
To all my TTC ladies - go on vacation! It does one good
nectarine / 2053 posts
@snowjewelz: wow! that is looking very promising to me! excited for you to test with a FRER!
persimmon / 1167 posts
@snowjewelz: Ah AH AH! I just saw this!! WOOHOOO! I can't WAIT TO SEE THE FRER!!!
I'm SO excited!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@HolisticMama: haha I'm hiding over here until I can test more and be sure since I really feel like I flubbed the test by not following instructions completely (I had to pee so bad and figure it's the same as an OPK).
apricot / 348 posts
@snowjewelz: ahhh that totally looks positive. I can't wait for you to test again!!!
@Kbee: so sorry to hear the news, I haven't seen the march thread but sending lots of love your way. That totally is shit. Stay on this thread and chat with us!! That's what we're here for xxx
persimmon / 1481 posts
@Kbee: I didn't see your update! I'm so sorry...keep your head up
kiwi / 560 posts
@snowjewelz: Oh you are so sweet! Yes it is nice to have these connections on HB. I don't know about you, but no one knows we are TTC and so it's nice to come here and chat with you ladies!! Also, my DH is super sweet and supportive but he doesn't like to see me sad, so sometimes he says things that actually end up making me feel worse, like "you're too obsessed about this," etc. I know he doesn't intend it like it sounds, but still, it can be hard.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Kbee: I only told one friend we are TTC but I def withheld all the details lol. If it's not for HB I'll probably just be googling random things and feeling so alone! I really love that we go through our ups and downs together! Maybe you can tell DH how he can be more supportive, let him know gently what words/phrases actually does more harm than good
kiwi / 560 posts
@snowjewelz: Yes we've had some convos about it, but maybe more are needed!
Update:
So everything I said about being "okay" - well, I've had a hard time today. My provider messaged me this morning to cancel my appointment today (the one where we were going to talk about why things might have been going wrong). She said it wasn't necessary since the ER confirmed I was having a miscarriage. I guess she was just lying a few days ago and trying to make me feel better when she said we could talk about why I've had 2 losses in a row. I'm a grad student and have just been going to the campus health center, so I know it's not the best place for OB care. Still, I wasn't happy with her insensitivity to the situation this morning. I'm very upset knowing that I've had 2 losses and no apparent doctor to help me out. I guess I've got to start calling around and see if anyone would want to take me on as a patient? I don't know how this works.
Today my beta hcg was 128 (was 222 on Monday, 208 on Wednesday). So it's going down, but slow. They want me to come back next Friday and every week until it goes to 0.
I'm really confused about when I had the miscarriage or if it hasn't actually occurred yet. The ER doctor thought that what I figured was "AF" (12 days ago) was the miscarriage, but I was getting negative HPTs then, and got a positive HPT a WEEK later. So I'm wondering if I haven't actually miscarried yet and will start bleeding again soon. Boo. All this to say, I am really confused about when a new cycle has or will have started. My provider at campus health did say she wanted me to "wait a few cycles" to see what happens with my cycles. I know I should probably take a break for at least one, but I'm having a hard time taking her advice because she's been so unhelpful!!
I apologize for my novel. If anyone has been in a similar situation just let me know if you have any words of wisdom or advice
How is everyone else doing?
apricot / 346 posts
Hello... New to the boards and new to TTC! We are taking it pretty easy to begin with, and I am trying not to get obsessive but it is so easy for me to get caught up in something like this! I'm looking forward to having a place to share the details since we aren't telling anyone and my DH isn't the kind of person to want to know all of the details. I wish everyone a quick journey!
pomelo / 5129 posts
@Kbee: Major Major Hugs to you.
I totally understand what you mean about your DH saying things without really thinking...and all the wondering that goes into a MC.
I thought I was doing ok (I MCed in January/February) up until I got AF a few weeks ago and I told DH and his response was "Well, you didn't think you were pregnant did you?"
The "getting over it" process had to start all over after that!
Since you MCed pretty early, I'm not sure if you would know it or not? After I passed everything from mine, my HCG was still pretty high (it actually rose for a week after they first suspected the MC), so I think it is possible that you passed it already. Are they going to follow it down to 0?
Over all, I'm not sure if there's anything anyone can say to make it less confusing since every MC is different. My doctors told me at least three times they expected everything to be over soon, but it ended up dragging out over 5 weeks. (and then another 5 weeks for my HCG to come down)
The upside was that as soon as my HCG got low, I ovulated immediately (actually before it tested 0).
I hope things can get back to "normal" for you soon. It's in quotes, because I'm pretty convinced there is no such thing as normal
clementine / 899 posts
@Kbee: I'm SO sorry you're going through this!! That's pretty upsetting about that doc. Shouldn't matter that you're seeing someone other then at regular practice, they should still uphold the same responsibilities and sensitivities towards patient. I would definitely try and find either a GP that specializes in prenatal care or an OB and maybe they can refer you to an RE if need be.
Big hugs and hope you get definitive answers very soon!!
nectarine / 2053 posts
@Kbee: oh no. I'm so so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I would definitely call around and try to find another provider that will be more sensitive and actually care about what is happeing to you. As I work in healthcare, I know how some offices can be frustrating. You need to find one that makes you feel welcome and appreciated. You have all of our support here and I wish there was something more we could do for you. Still praying for you and hoping that you get some answers soon.
nectarine / 2053 posts
@As Time Goes By: Welcome to HB and to the crazy, waiting game that is TTC! haha however we are a pretty great group of ladies to chat with!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@Kbee: hugs, hugs and more hugs for you
The good news seem to be that your #s are going down consistently and hopefully it will keep going and you will o again soon! I'm so sorry the people you have encountered are less than helpful. Maybe they deal with these things so often that they are not sensitive to it... I think if you bleed again, you can then def go back to them to get checked? I've read all kinda of mc situations and it def seems to be very different for everyone. I'm so sorry today is a bad day hang in there, you will o, be in tww and get your bfp again soon!!
apricot / 348 posts
@Kbee: arrrr sweety, I'm sorry you feel so down (completely understandable). I'm sure it is very frustrating, especially being told you have to wait a few cycles which when you are TTC seems like FOREVER! I hope you find a new and sympathetic doctor soon. The confusion must be awful. Good luck hun
apricot / 348 posts
@MaryM: sorry you went through this too. I feel for both of you ladies tremendously.
pomelo / 5129 posts
@Kbee: On waiting a few cycles...My doctor asked that we wait for one normal period just so they knew for sure everything was back to normal.
After that, he said have at it whenever we felt ready. That a lot of doctors ask for you to wait to make sure cycles are regular so that they can date your next pregnancy easier.
But if you're already really aware of your cycles, it shouldn't be hard to do that even if you don't wait several cycles!
The most important thing is just to make sure YOU are ok
persimmon / 1481 posts
@Kbee: Sorry, this sounds so frustrating! It sounds like you need someone who is more sensitive to you and wants to find out what's wrong. Maybe an RE? I feel confident that you are going to get your sticky baby soon though.
persimmon / 1481 posts
@As Time Goes By: Welcome! You've come to the right community! Good luck to you!
kiwi / 560 posts
@hellonheels: @whenoceansrise: @snowjewelz: @Mrs.Lilac: @MrsHansen82: thank you ladies so much.
@MaryM: Thank you SO much for your helpful advice. I'm so sorry that you have gone through the same thing, and that it dragged out so long . It helps to know that your hcg kept going up after the miscarriage - maybe that's what happened with mine and the bleeding last week was actually the miscarriage. They are making me go back until the level is down to 0. And you're totally right, I'm sure the process is confusing for anyone and happens different for each woman.
I think we'll sit it out for just one cycle. I'm not really sure when that cycle will start...but maybe I'll figure it out in the next few weeks if I get a period or something. I actually had tons of EWCM 3 days ago, which was really weird, and I'm hoping it wasn't a realllly early O because we had BD'd 2 and 3 days before thinking that I was in a new cycle (before I knew I was pregnant and obviously before I knew I had miscarried). I don't think I could have ovulated THAT early, nor do I know if that's even possible, so it was probably something associated with the miscarriage.
You all have been SO awesome. Sorry I have hogged all the attention. I'm so glad we all have each other to share these things with and hopefully we'll get some good news happening in this thread (maybe a snowjewelz BFP!!).
pear / 1697 posts
Who all knows that you're TTC? I'm starting to feel awkward about who knows and who doesn't...
Sweetie knows (obviously). Most friends know that we would like to get KU soonish, but, not that we're trying. Most of my coworkers know that we're trying -- some of them down to what my OPKs say.
It feels really vulnerable and personal to consider disclosing it to people I'm close to. At work, well, I work in a gyn office. So, it is what we're talking about all day anyhow, and it seems like just shop talk.
Now I'm feeling weird about work colleagues that I'm not really close to at all knowing, but close friends and family not knowing. I know how I ended up disclosing in the way that I did, but, I still feel weird about it.
Any thoughts? Commiseration?
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@lilyofthewest: I feel ya! I only told one really close friend that we are trying, but she knows the tip of the iceberg lol. The thing that stops me from telling people is bc of the constant questions... I don't want so many people every month asking if I got KU when it's stressful enough for two people! I also don't want to put people in awkward positions if A) we have been trying for a long time and dealing with IF or something or B) we are actually pregnant but don't want to tell the world yet...
It must be strange to be TTC and work at a gyno office! I think it's okay.. My closest coworkers know way too much about me that my best friend might not even know just bc we sit next to each other all day long everyday! It's hard not to talk about personal stuff if you get along well.
eggplant / 11861 posts
@Kbee: I am so so sorry ((hugs)) to you!!!!!
I too had 2 v
early loses, the second one my HCG was going down so slow that I did not get a period until I had to take Provera to induce it ;/
I just went through all the testing as to why we lost 2 in row with IUI..as I am finding out there are many little things that can make it happen!
Let me know if you want any more information, if\when you are ready!
Again, I pray all will heal and you will get your sticky baby soon!!!!!!!!(
kiwi / 560 posts
@lilyofthewest: I'm in a similar boat with friends - many know that we want to have children "soon-ish" but don't know that we're actively TTC. My BFF knows, but that's been hard because she has no idea what I'm talking about. I agree with snowjewelz, that it is hard not to tell coworkers when we see them every single day and get to be very close to them. I do feel guilty that my BFF knows we are trying but my parents do not (my mom might actually be a little sad when she finds out that I didn't tell her we were TTC), but we just want it to be a SUPER surprise when we do finally tell them that we are pregnant! So you can look at it that way if it helps
persimmon / 1481 posts
@lilyofthewest: We haven't told anyone the details, but I think my mom might have caught on. I'm really bad at keeping things from her and I've been hinting around a bunch. She told me she doesn't want to know until she can tell her friends. I have no idea how I'll keep it to myself that long!
apricot / 348 posts
@lilyofthewest: I have been awful for telling people. My co workers know we are really close and are with me day in day out. We don't talk about it now as it's been a few months and I think they don't want to ask me about it anymore.
My sisters and mum know as well as my best friends! Seems like I have told everyone but they all guessed as I always said I would try as soon as I had got married although we ended up waiting after all.
I don't see there being a problem. Everyone who knows are also gong to be told the minute I find out I get KU as if, god forbid, it didn't end up working out, I would want their support. My sister on the other hand didn't tell anyone she was pregnant until she was 6 months gone for all her children! It was great coz the pregnancies seemed to go so fast!
pear / 1697 posts
I was wondering this morning how many of my "ovulation symptoms" and TWW "symptoms" are caused by having such a full bladder so that I can test concentrated wee.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@lilyofthewest: lol I actually never really held pee on purpose, but then again I don't drink much during the day. I wouldn't force it too much risking a UTI! I have gotten fine lines for OPK, HPT and FRERs using random pee (that just sounds weird haha).
@Mrs.Lilac: I totally agree with you! I was hesitating in telling even my own parents bc the social norm seems to be keep quiet till after 1st tri. But I also really want support and prayers during this crucial tri, esp if something goes wrong!
kiwi / 560 posts
@faithfertility: I somehow missed your post the other day, so sorry! Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sorry to hear you had 2 losses as well Was the testing helpful? Someone recently recommended I just go straight to a RE, since I have pretty good insurance that would cover a good bit of it. But does that require a referral?
nectarine / 2053 posts
How is everyone doing? I'm on CD16 and expected to O this week. Got a package of OPKs in the mail today and will be BDing every day this week. Anyone POAS this week?
pear / 1697 posts
@whenoceansrise: C'mon O. Wishing you clear, dark, OPKs and lots of BD stamina.
I POAS at the end of the week -- Sun.
Days are ticking by suuuuper slow. I really want to test before then, but, even Sunday I'm only waiting until 11 DPO. I'm also trying to stop POAS every day and restrain myself until then because in the unlikely event I got a positive during the workweek (Tues-Sat), I'm not sure I could refrain from blurting it out to my coworkers.
I was awake for no good reason from 3:45am to 5am. Then I had weird extremely vivid dreams that I was living in my childhood home and driving in that neighborhood while half asleep.
And, of course, my mind is clamoring, "It's a pregnancy symptoms, right, right?" No, probably I just had a weird and cruddy night of sleep.
nectarine / 2053 posts
@lilyofthewest: oh, girl. I symptom spot like crazy so if it were me, I would think everything was a sign of pregnancy. haha- really hoping that this is your cycle and that you get that BFP!
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