Hellobee Boards

Aww... that sucks. I think sometimes guys just don't think. My husband was really good in the first trimester, but at our birthing class they showed us a video where one lady was yodeling and another was just repeating an 'I can do it" mantra over and over in this weird voice. On the way home he said if I did anything funny while in labour he was going to mock me forever. Annnnd queue hormonal rage, about how he wasn't invited in the room if I was going to have to be worried that he was going to tell everybody and make jokes about what goes on while I'm likely in excruciating pain. I felt like that was a really asshole thing to say to your pregnant wife, and felt like he meant things like pooping on the table or not looking cute, rather than the more extreme examples he was referencing from the video (even though I think if yodeling works for you, go for it) and he was mad that I was going to ban him from the birth of HIS child.

I think they just sometimes don't think about how anxiety inducing this whole process is, and sometimes make misguided attempts to lighten it up. Mix in high emotions on both parts, and it's easy for things to go downhill fast. Hopefully you guys will work it out.

Episiotomes are no joke! You need to give him a list of things that aren't joke material!

Glad he understands!

@ElbieKay: What helped us a lot was signing up for the emails from whattoexpect.com. A lot of them are geared towards Dad's, especially early on and they give tips about how to support your pregnant partner and why she needs support in the first place. They really helped my DH not only understand what was going on with me, but empathize with what I was/am going through. It also helped prepare him for the physical and mental changes that did eventually occur.

We also read the book together at first every week and it was a fun bonding experience especially since this is all so new to us. He was really interested to learn what changes were happening in my body and what side effects I might experience. Now we just read the emails, I'll forward interesting ones to him so we can read them together but it has the same effect.

My husband makes jokes when he's uncomfortable about something. It's still annoying, but I at least get why. After talking about morning sickness and being tired, I said something about how he wouldn't be able to handle it. He said, "yeah, because I couldn't handle getting that fat." Needless to say, he realized that was a WRONG comment and I declared that I got to do whatever I wanted all day the next day (a Saturday...and we have a 2 yr old). He's been a joy ever since. Hehe.

Google images of episiotomy and leave the window open on your computer. That'll teach him

I'm 9 weeks pregnant (yay March Mommas) but this baby dosent consume my mind near as much as my first did. DH had a hard time with me talking about it so much back then. They just don't get it. Maybe try to limit talking about pregnancy to him to topics that are important to you and use your girlfriend to talk through the less important stuff. My girls love talking babies!

@ElbieKay: It took me bursting into tears and storming away (we were walking the dog) for my husband to stop talking about the possibility of the baby not making it (I was six weeks pregnant). Talking about that was his way of dealing with the fear of it, but it literally took me sobbing and telling him that I couldn't handle hearing him talk like that because I was already worried about it for him to stop. My friend has had four miscarriages and I was so, so scared because I still didn't feel pregnant. Since then, he has been much better about what he says and thinking about how it could come across.