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I don't think I would wax that early. 10 at least and she would have to ask for it.

I've always had super dark hair (head, arms, legs, face, etc) and my parents didn't do or say a word about it until I was probably 11 or 12. It definitely wasn't super young.

My cousin (18m older) and I were always pretty hairy and I remember pretend shaving our legs in the bathtub as kids. I begged my mom to let me shave my legs when she started shaving around 10. I think she let me use a wet/dry electric razor.

@Peasinapod: Yeah, that's my issue with it. I would not like to teach my child that the way she looks is something that we need to fix. I'd just do what I already do, which is to emphasize that some people remove some of the hair on their bodies and that you can choose to do it or not to do it as you please, whenever you feel ready.

@Anagram: I still think I'd prefer that lesson to hearing from your mother that you need to remove hair to present an acceptable image. Everyone does eventually become aware of the ways in which they do and do not fit into conventional beauty norms, and I would very much not like my daughters to feel like that message came from me.

I would do it at the point at which it became obvious, and where other kids would notice it--maybe 6 or 7? I also don't really think it's a big deal--if my boy had a unibrow I would do the same.

I would wait until she asks. I agree with @sarac about the message it would send. I don't think it's akin to the hairbrush story - this is presented as fixing a problem that is somewhat unique to her. It seems more like suggesting she dye her hair than suggesting she brush it.

I think it depends on how much his were talking about. I'd rather have heard from my mom than my peers but that's me. I think maybe you could phrase it as something you do too, like no big deal. You can say that some people leave it and some people pluck it etc rather than "here lets pluck this!" I had a middle school friend whose mom started eyebrow waxing young and she liked the clean feeling of it, it was just normal hygiene stuff to her. Sad to say I know even teachers who love kids in general can be judgmental about hair/appearance, so I get where you're coming from.

My aunt once stopped me in a parking lot and took tweezers to the hair on my face. All it did was make me feel ashamed and ugly as a child.

I really like the some women do this, some don't approach. Then there is no pressure and you aren't teaching her she has to look a certain way, just that there are options. Also, I like the idea of getting rid of the unibrow as part of the haircut, as another poster suggested.

My mom never talked to me about anything. I got too old to not be shaving my legs and ashamed of my leg hair and like @DesertDreams88: took to the internet, stole my mom's razors, cut myself, etc. I wish my mom would have just had a conversation with me and taught me some things. I don't think it would have made me feel ugly at all. I actually sometimes resent that she didn't have that conversation with me.

@DesertDreams88: I've even been able to generalize it further to men and women. My husband is a bike person, so we're around a lot of men who shave their legs as part of it. It's been easy to reference them as just another example of people who prefer to remove some of their hair, while her father likes to leave his long.

I'm really trying to keep all judgement out of different beauty norms for her as long as possible. I try to never comment negatively on anyone's appearance in her presence, and I rarely comment on hers. I would really like to teach her that self worth doesn't come from the way she looks, and this seems like a good place to start.

Oh, and my mom DID start suggesting I use makeup sooner than I cared to, and I wasn't hurt or anything. She didn't make me feel like she thought I should because I wasn't pretty. More like she thought it would be a fun thing to do together, and possibly an element of wanting to protect me from bullies. I definitely never felt shamed into it or anything.

I agree with previous posters that said you should at least open the door for conversation. I wanted to start shaving my legs in 5th grade and was SO nervous/scared to ask my mom. My mom was shocked that girls had started shaving their legs that young.

She started plucking my eyebrows before that. Just the unibrow part. I don't know how it was brought up, but I'm sure she initiated it. I will be forever grateful for that too! To me, getting my eyebrows plucked was as normal as getting my fingernails cut. She did it for my brother too (to a lesser extent), so it wasn't a girl specific thing.

Well... I have lived in places where women don't shave and feel comfortable and proud for not doing it. Women shave their legs because there was a nylon shortage in WW2 and a company wanted to sell more razors. I am generally against aesthetic shaving.

I now live in a city in the great lakes region... I am honest with my daughter that I don't like shaving, but I am making the choice to do it sometimes right now because society has some odd expectations and sometimes I choose to follow the rules. Sometimes I don't want to stick out more than I already do.

I personally would wait until she came to me. There is no way to prevent enough, or change ourselves enough, to avoid harassment. Even if you were this perfect person doing what everyone wants that itself could get people after you. So, I don't really buy into trying to avoid getting made fun of.

@sarac: I really agree with your sentiments!

I can't imagine putting a 6 year old through eyebrow waxing! I mean, it's one thing if she sees you plucking her eyebrows and asks you to do hers...but telling her she needs to wax her eyebrows? Yikes! There will be mean kids no matter what - kids always find something to use to make others feel like crap about them self. Home should be a safe haven from that.

I was a pretty hairy child and I feel really strongly about not doing this until the kid asks for it, even then holding off until the teens. I remember feeling so ashamed and different, and this is without my parents saying anything to me! Now as an adult I don't want to perpetuate the idea that hair removal is a given, or that someone can't be beautiful and hairy at the same time.

I think in your situation, there's the additional trickiness of a blonde mom imposing this on a dark haired child... just not a road I'd want to go down.

I'm a hairy beast - I'm southern european and it's dark fine fluffy hair on arms (shoulders/back), legs, side of face/mo and hairline. I desperately wanted to shave my legs and I did it when I was about 12 even though my mum was against it. My daughter is basically the same, I won't force the issue like my mum and deny her the hair removal if she asks for it. She sees me now doing a quick pluck or leg shave, so she is aware of it (she sometimes comments on my mouuuchtuch!). What do you do, if you fight against them you create that over-eagerness to get rid of the hair (and maybe shave their stomach/arms like I did) but if you do it yourself too early you risk creating the thought that there is something wrong with the way they look. siiighhh.