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Yes, my niece had an abortion last year. She is 16, living with her grandparents (my in-laws) and was in and out of school. It was the best choice *FOR HER.* I am very pro-choice, but I do believe each situation is different. I supported my niece because along with what I've said, there were other aspects that made me think it was the best decision. However, I never told her this because it is frankly none of my business.

I'm sure many people will give you different answers, and everyone pretty much feels strongly one way or another, but you have to remember that this is *her* choice, and whatever choice it is, you should be there and support her.

I'd stay out of it. You've said your piece and now she's an adult who has to make her own decision. I'm sure it's an anguishing decision and she needs support.

I was a teen mom (had DD at 17) and my older sister really preassured me actually the other way. To be honest to this day-11 years later- I have not forgotten how judgemental and unsupportive she was. Please support your sister even if she makes a different decision than you would. I am sure at this point she knows how you feel, being there for her I am sure would mean a lot.

First, that's a sucky situation to be in and I'm sorry you are dealing with that.
Second, I'm a big believer in "it's her body it's her choice". I don't agree with abortion but I do believe it's the woman's choice.
Personally, you've said your piece and made it known that you don't agree with her decision and at this point you need to step back and make peace with whatever decision she makes.
You don't have to agree with her but you can't force her to see your way either.

You should not be pressuring anyone to continue a pregnancy they do not want, or pressuring anyone to abort a pregnancy they want. It is HER choice; not yours.

“I feel like because she was irresponsible, she needs to own up to her mistakes and go through with the pregnancy and take care of her baby.”

I hear this a lot, and honestly, I don’t agree with it. Why isn’t realizing that you made a mistake (or didn’t, depending on the circumstances), admitting that you’re in no position to raise a child, and so *not* bringing another life into this world that you can’t care for (or don’t want to care for) also a responsible choice? Why is the default “responsible choice” to reproduce when you are not ready to do so? Why is there the assumption that someone will automatically care for a baby they are not ready to have and/or don't want to have?

Abortion is absolutely NOT an easy, quick fix and if she chooses to have an abortion she will need your love and support.

@HummusGirl: Agree.

@Peachtree: This is an incredible emotional cross for her to bear. Since you have already made your point, please give her the space (and respect) she needs to make the decision that is right for her.

You should just support her decision, not try to sway her into what YOU feel is right. She is the one who has to live with the decision and it will not be easy, either way. But having a sister who has already told her that she shouldn't have the abortion and "kill it" will certainly strain your relationship. I'm sure she understands what it is and what is going on--she's 22, not 12. You just need to be supportive and let her know you love her no matter what, not push your beliefs on her (and that goes for everyone else, too). It's a very big decision for her

@yoursilverlining: so very well said.

This is her choice to make and she needs to decide what is right for her.

@yoursilverlining: +1

@yoursilverlining: What you said exactly.

I only know of one person who had or considered having an abortion-- that doesn't mean I don't know more, but only know about the one and we were definitely not close enough for me to offer advice. I'm sure it was the right decision for her, though it wasn't the decision I would have made.

I agree with everyone else that you've said what you had to say, and right now your sister just needs support. It sounds like she is getting pressure from both sides instead of just support and understanding while she figures out what she wants. I don't think having a baby in her circumstances would be easy at all, and while I wish more people would consider adoption, actually being pregnant has made me realize even more just what an incredibly difficult situation that is too.

I hope your sister feels at peace with whatever decision she makes, and that none of her relationships with her family suffer too much. In my family, you could never, ever mention the possibility of even considering abortion without a huge fall out.

Wow.

A question: Are you going to raise her baby?

If no, then you have no right to pressure her into something that is going to affect her, and her alone.

@Peachtree: Those people who had "blessings in disguise" were lucky. I bet for every one of them there are a lot who just don't care. You say your sister is the most irresponsible person you know and you want to risk the chance of her having a baby? What if she's not one of the lucky people that this ends up a "blessing in disguise" for? What if she just continues to be an irresponsible mother. How is that fair to the child?

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude but I just really do not understand.

This is an awful situation. I shudder at the thought of abortion, but the fact is, it's very easy for me to sit here in a loving marriage and a financially stable life and say that no one should abort. When I was in college or maybe just after, if I had found myself pregnant, I can't honestly say that I wouldn't have considered it then. And knowing what I know now about what it takes to raise a baby- I don't know that I honestly could have handled it back then.

However young she is, she is still an adult, and she needs to make a decision on what is best for her life. She does not need you making her feel any more awful about what she's gotten herself into. If she chooses to abort, she will without a doubt punish herself for the rest of her life. And one day, when she's in a loving marriage and financially secure, and has a baby of her own, she will think back to this time and probably have a lot of guilt and suffering about what she did. So if she does it, she will be haunted by her own decision for a long time, and so it's really important that she feels that it was 100% her choice.

deleted.
{Wish we had the strikethrough option from wedding bee.}

@.twist.: ditto....I was just thinking- I'm pro-life for me!

Yes, you badly need to stay out of it. She's an adult, and she needs to make the choice that she needs to make. You've said your piece.

I am against abortion, but unfortunately you can not tell her what to do since it is her body. Just as she couldn't tell you NOT to keep a baby. It goes both ways. It is sad that she is going through this, and too bad she hasn't considered adoption but the best thing to do is to stay out of it and support her decision as best you can. Good luck!

@Peachtree: I'm sure there are other pro-lifers on here but that doesn't change the fact that this is your sisters body and decision. Your own personal beliefs don't make a shred of difference when it comes to someone elses rights.

As for the supportive family, that's great but it doesn't matter in the long run. She's still the one who would raise this baby, on her own.

After reading the part about how your sister is the most irresponsible person you know, I was shaking my head at your logic. How do you think that someone with her track record is equipped to support a child? That's a disaster waiting to happen.