Hellobee Boards

@mamimami: dammit, and I trusted you for your wealth of knowledge on breastfeeding. You stink!

I feel like I missed something..

Maybe I'm naive but I don't get why everyone is picking on @Arden: for having a pseudonym. Everyone has a different comfort level with what they want to share.

@Arden: I only meant that I understand why people feel "duped ". I don't think there is anything wrong with it

@Bookish: @Arden: glad I'm not the only one! I don't get it either! I strongly feel everyone has the right to use the internet without sharing personal details including names. I think it's smart, not deceitful! And I respect that choice. I have never assumed someone's internet name was their real name.

@cmomma17: no one thinks you user name is your real name. The difference is saying your name is one thing, making a FB page with name( us sharing our personal information with), and then finding out it is all fake. If you don't want to share your name on here, then don't. I don't know most people's names on here.

@Arden: now I'm intrigued... Is the name you've shared for your daughter actually her name? Because there have been a lot of posts by you about how much you love her name and that would be really weird if it's not actually her name. But then again, I would find it inconsistent if you have gone to such great lengths to protect your own identity but shared hers so openly.

ETA: also, it's my understanding that you are a doula. If you truly believe all the views you post regarding childhood and parenting I would think you would view it as a benefit for potential clients to find you here? But maybe you have other employers.

@MamaMoose: The last name is different. That protects my daughter's identity. Obviously that is important to me. I only chose Arden as my name because it's one I had already been using for a long time for writing and identified with already.

As far as clients go, that's not why I'm here. I work for myself as a doula, and I find clients mostly through local word of mouth. I'm not trying to recruit people from here, I never have. That would be a form of self promotion which isn't even allowed here. I've never shared my business name here for the same reason. My business name is not my own name, anyway, so it wouldn't make a difference even if I did share my name here.

Also, I share very personal information about my extended family and my sex life. I wouldn't want clients knowing those things.

And yes, I do have other employers. As I've mentioned before my husband and I work for an aid organization (we're not currently posted). My doula business is a seperate thing.

@MamaMoose: I understand that point. I edited to add that I don't really want a potential client reading about my sex life or father in law fights either.

@IRunForFun: That's a fantastic point. I don't want a client to pick me because I believe the same way about homebirths or something, I want her to pick me because she feels comfortable with me on a personal connection level. I will support her in her choices, she doesn't have to make the same ones I would make for myself.

@photojane: I would never catfish you tell Grammie she can rest easy

I think everyone has a right to privacy. But honestly, there is a different expectation once that relationship extends past this site. I would absolutely be uncomfortable if I became Facebook friends with someone and then found out they were lying about who they were. I would have expected a disclosure and then an opportunity for me to decide if I wanted to share my information with someone who is making the choice not to share their information with me. @naturallycathy and I had a meet up and beforehand she emailed me and gave me all the details of her situation and the real names of her and her family and gave me an opportunity to say so if I wasn't comfortable with that inconsistency. To me, that says a lot about her character.

@MsLipGloss: ok I gotta know. Was it someone on HB?

@MamaMoose: I might have choked up a little Thanks so much hon for being my friend.

@Arden: I follow you on ig but I still didn't think Arden was your actual name, lol. Not fb though. (I don't actually have any fb hb friends.)

Personally I once found out about lies my bf/exbf/whatever (we were breaking up and then broken up) told me through fb. It was big stuff but not a different name.

On here... I only follow a handful on ig (need to add more!!) and there's not even your real name on ig. On fb I'd be a little weirded out if there were major life details changed (like pretending to be ten years younger, or something strange like that.) I haven't gone to meet ups but if I ever do I would hope that everyone there would be totally honest about who they are, what they go by, etc... And like @mrsmcd: there's a good chance my husband would be scoping it out, lol.

@Arden: I think it's fine you created a username that is an IRL nickname (mine is as well) but why would you post that its your real name and that your mom was so awesome for having chosen it? That makes me scratch my head. I never felt duped because I know the truth ( and would never publicly sell you out) and our relationship doesn't extend past this site.

Man, you miss a lot when you're not active in the evenings, especially on post-a-thon nights!

My name isn't really Adira!! But I think people know that.

@Adira: hahaha - its not?? I totally thought that was your IRL name!

@Mamaof2: haha, yeah, everyone says that! There was a Gold thread a while back to share our names and I shared mine and everyone was like "OMG, really???" I guess Adira sounds like a totally normal name, but it's not mine!

@Mrs. Grizzly Bear: That's okay. I never liked you anyway.

@Mrs. Grizzly Bear: hahahaha, maybe combine these: ?