-
Yes! I did. And then we found a new one and it was never an issue because she realizes her place is for medical knowledge and advice, not parenting advice.
Our first ped was horrible about this. She was so critical of everything. She chastised me for giving my 10 month old scrambled eggs even though he was not allergic and loved them and could safely eat them. She wanted him to start on grains first. She was opinionated about his sleep schedule, etc. So with my second we just told her what she wanted to hear until we found a new provider who we loved but has sadly started practicing (as of this month) about an hour away. Of course.
-
I fibbed about the same thing with the vitamin d!
-
The only thing I haven been completely honest about is DDs pacifier usage.
when she was telling us to get rid of it, I would say we are trying, but we aren't. And for the last couple visits I have taken it away for the visit so the doctor doesn't see it/ask about it
-
Yes, I fib to my doctor and I have no problem with it. She pushes solids from an early age, even though that it no longer the recommendation. I don't feel the need to argue with her, so I just smile and nod. She is really old school and not up to date in the current recommendations. I research the heck out of everything so I am confident in my parenting choices.
@littlejoy: I think that's sort of a weird question. Me fibbing to the doctor has nothing to do with my not being honest with my friends about my
parenting choices. I don't feel the need to not be honest to my friends because I don't hang out with judgemental people. -
@QBbride: I guess that's where my head was at. People on here are saying they lie about co-sleeping with their kid ... or if they are giving a pacifier. Why do we all feel the need to defend our parenting choices? I imagine if someone feels too insecure to tell their doctor that they are co-sleeping with their 12 month old, then they will probably feel insecure around their friends.
I chose a doctor that I trust ... and I assume when she asks me things like, "Is LO sleeping through the night?", that she's asking because if I say no, she'll have resources for me.
Maybe I just can't really understand the "judgey doctor" situation?
-
Absolutely, on parenting issues. Our original ped's office was in a teaching hospital, so we saw residents. They were required to be strict on issues, plus I think that, being so young/inexperienced, they hadn't learned to let some things go. I wasn't about to try to justify our parenting choices (like cosleeping or BLW (when they pushed us to start cereal at 4mo)) if they weren't going to listen anyway.
We're trying a new Ped for her 6mo appointment next week, so hopefully it will be better.
I'm kind of surprised how many people are getting up in arms over this. No one is suggesting you lie to your doctor about medical issues, but where she sleeps is none of their business as long as she's safe! (And they only push having babies sleep alone, instead of teaching safe cosleeping. So when people bring baby into bed, which most parents do at some point for at least a little while here and there, they don't know how to be safe. It's like abstinence only sex ed. It doesn't stop people, just makes them less safe!) ETA- Didn't mean that to turn into a rant about cosleeping, sorry. Apparently it bothers me more than I realized!)
-
@littlejoy: I guess that's the problem, here there is such a shortage of family doctors that there aren't any to switch to. I absolutely would switch if I could so I didn't need to ignore her "advice" about starting solids etc.
Like today she told me that at 6 months they should be eating three meals a day with breastmilk "sips" between meals. Uhh, I think she missed the memo on how breastmilk/formula should make up the majority of their calories for the first year. But I didn't say anything, because what's the point in arguing with her?
-
@QBbride: That's gotta be hard!!! We're in a big city (so, a lot of doctors). We left our original Ped, because he was pushing solids at four months. I was super-struggling with breast milk production, so that advice was so dumb for our situation ... let alone the idea of an open gut, and formula/bm being their main source of food for a year.
-
I think when they asked if he was bottle weaned I said "almost...." Aka not close. He's weaned now though, lol.
-
No, I haven't. I don't think our doctor's office would judge us if we were making different choices than their standard recommendations though.
-
I've nodded along on concepts before. Our pedi mentions starting with cereal etc and with my first I mentioned BLW. Either she forgot or just isn't into it but she would ask if DD/DS had tried (insert food) by this age and if they could eat by themselves. I don't think that means I don't trust her since I haven't brought up that we don't do cereals. She was also a proponent of honey nut cheerios (so weird) but we don't eat them so I just smiled and said okay thanks. I think that is it? I told her my newborn will sleep on me sometimes and while she doesn't approve she just gently reminds me back is best. Anyways that was a long winded say of saying I see no issue with fibbing about parental choices to avoid an unwanted lecture.
-
Meh, I definitely fibbed about teeth brushing with my first. He was terrible about it and we tried, but absolutely didn't brush twice a day. He saw a dentist before 3 and he's fine.
Regarding those stupid iron drops....I was terrible about giving them. I told my doctor "I give them when I think of it or remember it." Honestly with 2 kids, life was a shit show for a really long time and giving those drops was the least of my worries!
-
I fib about naps when they ask how she naps. She isn't on a schedule and I can't remember how often and how long when she naps 3-4 times a day.. especially when she is at daycare 5 days a week!
-
Yes--I coslept with dd until like 16 months. She never slept in her crib one night until then! I'm still nursing at almost 2 years and I think it's affecting her eating habits...I'm going to confess at her 2 yr visit!
-
Not so much outright, bit a fib of omission: at 6 months she said to drop the crib down and we just said yes. LO didn't have a crib because he slept in our bed. But I just felt so crazy not even having a crib for him... But by his first birthday we'd "come clean" about co-sleeping and she didn't judge us. Other than that, we've always been honest, she makes it easy because she's not pushy or preachy.
-
Nope. Our pediatrician is awesome. I'm also not one to lie to doctors, and if I felt the need to, I'd find one that works better for our family. Our pediatrician has never suggested any of the strange things here!
-
@sorrycharlie: I have omitted things on purpose and said so. "That is a parenting question not a medical question, I'd prefer not to discuss it". Happens often.
-
No, DH and I have decided to be totally honest. We admitted to belly sleep from an early age and we said LO watched a lot of TV at the last appointment because we had all just had a stomach virus and yeah, there was a week with a lot of TV.
-
My pediatrician never told us to give B iron or vit d. I'm surprised at how many of you were asked to!
-
The checklist asked if LO eats 5 fruits/vegetables a day. Not everyday but I had to check yes or not. I said yes.
-
Nah but I really try to follow the ped's recommendations, and if I can't or don't I just say so.
Eta like for the sleep thing I have let ds in bed with me but I try not to... I would say "Evey so often..." And she accepts that and just says the recommendations, and moves on. She's not pushy and doesn't guilt us about anything. I really appreciate our pediatrician!
-
@sorrycharlie: that's so odd about the poly-vi-sol! Our pedi never even mentioned it. It seems a bit arbitrary.
Not really a fib, but I got some really bad breastfeeding advice from the doctor. She said we have to give a bottle after every feeding to make sure DD is full. Good advice if you have a low supply, but why do it if the kid is gaining weight fine? I just smiled and nodded, even though I knew I had no intention of doing what she suggested. Maybe I should have said something though, because DH was in the room too, and he told me for weeks afterwards that DD is nursing too often because I'm "doing it wrong."
-
Nope. I love our ped and I want his advice on all issues. I also trust him to be respectful if we have a differing view on any specific topic. I think if you feel the need to lie to your doctor one of two things is happening. Either you don't have an open and trusting relationship with your doctor where you feel comfortable to say "I have researched this topic and I feel confident I'm making the right choice for my family because of XYZ" (in which case I would find a new doctor). Or, you have some doubt that what you are doing really is the right thing and you don't want to hear about it (in which I would reconsider my choice).
-
I've glossed over drops, cobedding & BLW.
-
Regarding the vi di sol, I think if you are doing iron fortified food (rice cereal, formula...) it's not so important. If you are BFing and not doing cereal it's hard to get enough iron in their diet otherwise. I was bad about remembering it and my LO was borderline low iron. I felt bad- though I was honest with the pediatrician that I forgot a lot!
-
I haven't mentioned cosleeping to the ped because I know what the AAP recommends, I know we're not going to change what we're doing, and I see no need to get into it. I only actually fibbed about it at her very first appointment, because since then the doctor has only asked if she is still in our room, and checked that we are putting her to sleep on her back. I honestly answered "yes" to both of those questions.
I don't think it's that I don't trust my doctor or my choice. With anyone in my life, I will happily and guilt-free tell a small fib or lie of omission in order to avoid or end a conversation I'd rather not have. Just makes life easier.
-
Yep! We never did the vitamin D drops, then we didn't do the poly-vi-sol. And we have co slept every night since birth (she's 2 now).
But my ped is REALLY judgy.
when she was telling us to get rid of it, I would say we are trying, but we aren't. And for the last couple visits I have taken it away for the visit so the doctor doesn't see it/ask about it
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
66 comments