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Oh my that's so sad

My MIL told DH once that he shouldn't have children because they ruin your life. She's awesome.

Wow. I kind of hope she is just trying to get a reaction. She sounds pretty awful.

ugh! this makes me want to go scoop up my baby out of his crib and snuggle him so tight!

Wow I read that article and her heart must he made.of stone. And she thinks that her children have never felt her lack of love BC she did everything right....ya OK those poor kids... I feel so bad for them.
@jmarionsmith: that's what I am ready to do too!

It sounds like she's depressed, & severely so. Also, martyr much?

I find that she mentions "children are a strain on your marriage" multiple times but that her & her husband have a supposedly "great" marriage only once. Methinks tis not so "great", yes?

This just makes me incredibly sad!

But to be honest, whilst I wouldn't trade Miss A for the world, I do have days when I mourn the loss if my life pre-baby. To me it sounds like this woman never got over or accustomed to her changed lifestyle.

Kind of gut wrenching! Seems like a generally unhappy person though. She doesn't hate working mothers. She just generally seems to dislike anyone who likes their life.

Oh and she's probably supremely bitter that she has to take care of her daughter.

I...have no words. How can someone be so cold? My children are my WORLD so I can't imagine in the slightest where she is coming from.

I can't help but think that a lot of this is about her daughter's illness. Her premise is illogical, after all: you can't really love someone but also wish they never existed. It sounds to me like she's trying to find a way to cope with what has to be a devastating event--watching your child die slowly and painfully.

I may be the only one but I'm just as mad toward her husband as I am her! He *knew* she didn't want children, and sadly I understand her compromise although it's saddening that even after having her children she still felt like she did. I agree that it's likely she *did* suffer from some kind of ppd that could've lingered and turned into depression in & of itself. I feel terrible for her children & couldn't imagine hearing something like this from my mom... or anyone that was supposed to love and WANT me. So sad. =(

Yikes. Saddest thing I've ever read. Sadie gives so much back to me already & she can't even talk yet. I just don't understand.

Both of my parents have said if they thought they could've not had kids, they would've chosen not to. But they both felt like it was expected and so they had kids. My mom has always been doting and present and loving. I know she does NOT regret us, but she never had baby fever or felt the biological clock ticking type of thing, so I can kind of understand this woman's feelings of that she had to have kids, that it was expected. I don't really understand how you could be so blatantly cold to your kids though. That's a bit startling. I agree with PPs that she probably suffered from PPD.

It does make me thankful though, to live in a time where being child free by choice is more societally acceptable.

I'm the contrary here... but I don't think she's a bitch for being honest about how she felt.

In most instances in life you can't necessarily change how you feel about something, your feelings are a natural response to a situation. In this case she had to choose to love her children because she didn't feel it for them. Is that her fault? Not necessarily. She didn't abandon them like many mothers do. I'm not saying this makes her mother of the year, but I guess my point is I indentify with her to a point.

I do love my son and yes I felt that bond in the beginning. But I would never pretend to say the transition to being a parent is an easy one, and I will admit there are days I wished I had waited or hadn't had a child because it's so difficult.

I totally agree with what she said about people seeing her as cold because she is being honest, but like she said, I do think more moms feel this way but bottle it up inside because they can't admit it to anyone.

So I do feel sorry for her... that she never adjusted and that her doing the best she could was forcing herself to love her children and care the best she could... but I moreso feel for her children because if my mother ever said I was the biggest regret of her life, my heart would be shattered.

So that is why it is not encouraged to be so brutally honest.

It's one thing to say "I never fully adjusted to parenthood and had a difficult time.", but to say your children are your biggest regrets - I do think that IS cold.

I think you guys are right. She's probably been depressed for a long time and doesn't want to admit it. So she blames it on her children. And so much of what she says is delusion. For example, thinking that her children didn't know. Of course they knew - that's why they gravitated towards Dad. Or thinking that she was a better mom than others simply because she did her "duty".

This is just so sad and mean. Can you imagine reading this from your own mother?

I dont necessarily think her saying she regrets having kids means she doesnt love them.

I called my pregnancy an "unwanted" pregnancy. I didnt want to be pregnant, didnt plan to get pregnant, and thats the honest truth. Do I regret C? No. Do I wish things had played out differently? Yes.

@oliviaoblivia: MIL is the same! Kept ranting that you don't need children and also kept telling SO that he shouldn't have children because he would not be a fit father! Ugh!

IMO, it looks like she was fully expecting having a baby to be a horrible experience, and so it WAS. You reap what you sow.

This makes me sad - I can't imagine not feeling a bond with your baby. I can understand not wanting children, and your life is now different than what you wanted, but to not bond?

Her statements about moms who go back to work really hurt - that's something I (and I'm sure lots of other moms) really struggle with