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He sounds a lot like mine when she was that age. I second the recommendation for babywearing! My girl was also finicky about carriers (predictably), so we had a whole bunch - Boba, K'tan, ring sling, Ergo (starting at 4-5 months). It was a slow process, but it definitely gets better and is worth the effort in the end. I get so many comments on how easy and happy she is now at 18 months because she never cries, and my arms/a carrier still work like magic at calming her down. It feels like forever, but this is a stage that will definitely pass!

1) it is so hard, hang in there!
2) mine was like that, he was high needs and seemed to be discontented very easily (though I will admit yours sounds a touch worse in terms of having to hold for every nap, I'm sorry!). Mine even did the whole turn purple, hysterical crying shaking convulsing thing. I definitely posted about it but that was a year and a half ago so I barely remember what I said. But similar to saying he seems like he is discontented if I'm not holding him.
3) I will say that when I told this to my pediatrician (I was going insane at my 4 week well visit) she said it sounded like he was overtired. I employed some tips (watching for sleepy signals, no longer than 1.5 hours or so awake at a time, try to put down drowsy but awake...but it sounds like you may be past drowsy but awake without some pain involved) and we saw a big difference. I still spent his naps policing and going in and out to replace the pacifier and sooth him back to sleep for a long time (without picking him up)...but I got way more peace than I did before.

I wouldn't yet formally nap train him...BUT it is totally ok to let him cry and scream and wail if you need some alone time. I was fried and asked our pediatrician if it was ok to let him cry. She said an emphatic YES. so sometimes I put him in his crib, shut the door, went to my bathroom, put the shower on and either hopped in or sat there and pooped. Haha. The shower covers the crying and it is OK! You can google this It's common.

Also, my son never slept out in the open - living room in a swing, for example. He always always always slept best in his room darkened and white noise on, in his crib or rock n play. He also was always Overstimulated VERY easily (thanks, MIL, for shaking blinking, flashing, beeping toys in his face when he is tired and crying). So since ours sound similar, that might be part of the problem? Overstimulated easily so a darkened room with white noise is best? Not even just for naps, but just go in there to calm him down.

Do you swaddle? The Love to Dream sleep sack is fantastic for the slightly older babies. It might help with being able to put him down for sleep. Or he may be old enough for Merlin Magic Suit. Truly magical!

Lastly - I will say it DID get better. First when we employed some of the sleep tricks I mentioned above...but also when he got to about 5 months and could sit up assisted. That's when I could put him on the floor in the bumbo, a highchair, or eventually the exersaucer. When he could sit up assisted but on his own and see where I was and what was going on around him and play with toys not lying down all the time...game changer. And it just kept getting better and better and continues to get better at 18 months. He's now a very happy and outgoing kid who doesn't want to be held and instead wants to explore and play with everyone and everything. In Sunday school he is the one who barely looks back at me and I'm told he plays well with others. So he is independent from me, more so than most toddlers with their moms.

I remember feeling the way you do...just barely. It is foggy and I remember that I did feel that way but it is SUCH a blip on the radar I can barely remember it. I promise this is just a season and it will get better. And even if he continues to be a clingy mamas boy, you will at least get used to it! It's still SO new to you right now and parenthood is such an adjustment. There are still many challenges with my son and I'm not saying it's a piece of cake - but as many told me, it has become the new normal. And the things that stressed me and worried me ("I'll never have a life again!") are either simply non issues now or I have just gotten used to them and they don't bother me.
Lots of hugs! xoxo

@Jackiedavis87: It was definitely a bit cumbersome in the beginning and takes some getting used to! My daughter was a leg-straightener, so I only ever had one had free, but it was at least something, you know? Maybe you could try back-carrying once he's a little older as well, that really makes things easier. Going out as much as you can sounds like a good idea too. Having a high-need newborn as a first-time mom is so hard, you're doing a great job! Hang in there!

@Jackiedavis87: I'm so sorry, this was my DD. I swear she hated being a newborn almost as much as I hated her being a newborn (I mean that in the best way). She had reflux, was extremely colicky and was a terrible sleeper. On top of that I was dealing with some PPD which made it feel like the walls were closing in a lot of the time. Things have only become better the more mobile she has become. She is still very demanding at 11 months. But when we are out or people are over she is the happiest kid ever. She is just an extrovert, which is completely foreign for me!

For where you are now I would agree with the other ladies that a carrier saved me. It took some getting used to do dishes and things but I learned to eat a snack, load the dishwasher land prep a meal with her in the KTan.

Sleep for better for us after we switched to always putting her down in a dark room with white noise, she is too easily distracted by things happening around her.

Me!!! My second was a super high needs infant and combine that with having to chase around a very active toddler and I was like at my wits end. Baby wearing saved my life. I started with a boba wrap and then moved up to a boba ssc when she got bigger. I did everything while wearing her...I cooked (just threw an apron over her), did chores, even went to the bathroom.

We also co-slept and are just now transitioning her to her crib at almost 8 months. I found that she got a lot better around the 6 month mark when she could sit up on her own.

Good luck mama and hang in there....️

Mine were both like this, and it eased around 6 months. I babywore my first 24/7 (my second didn't like to be worn, just held, or placed in the RnP sometimes). I held my babies through many a nap too. It is hard, but have heart, it eventually eases.

@Jackiedavis87:
I should also clarify - I'm not against CIO! We did it for night sleep at 4 months after my Pediatricians urging. But I've heard that night sleep training/CIO should happen before nap training/CIO. But if you are happy with his night sleep and want to try nap training, I don't necessarily think he's too young since many say 12 weeks / 12 lbs is the magic number.
Big hugs! You'll get through it and even someday look back on it kind of fondly. Kind of.

@Jackiedavis87: We started with 5-10 minutes of independent playtime once or twice a day when he was little - like in the PNP or in his play mat before he was mobile (I'd be within ear shot but just out of his line of sight). Then as he got older we extended the time and gave him access to more toys. By the time he was 1 he could play independently in a secured spot for 30 minutes with no issues and as an 18 month old is still a good independent player. When he went through patches of separation anxiety we used an egg timer and would come out yelling and cheering when it went off. It's been one of the best skills we've imparted on our son!