I have some friends whose parents do EVERYTHING for them. I also have coworkers who do EVERYTHING for their kids, and it really floors me! For instance, my coworker will call the doctor for an issue her (married) daughter is having for her son.
My parents did a lot for me when i lived at home, but once i moved out i was capable of doing things for myself and being very independent.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I haven't relied on them since I was out of college...which was many moons ago!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Not! Kind of the point of being an adult and having a career and being married lol.
Two way street, though-the parents enable it
pineapple / 12802 posts
I'm not. I moved out when I was 18 and the only time I've ever borrowed money from them was once when my cat needed emergency surgery. I paid them back when I got paid. I also have been going to and making my doctors/dentist appointments by myself since I was 18 (and some appointments even before then).
I talk to my mom a lot and ask her opinion, but if I feel like what I'm doing is more what I want then I do what I thought in the first place.
My brother on the other hand is way more dependent.
I have a co-worker who will call in sick to work so she can take her adult children to the doctors............
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Only in the sense that I know they are out there rooting for me 
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I'm very dependent on my parents for advice on things they have experience in (ie they helped advice us on first home purchase). But I'm not at all dependent on them to actually do things for me. Nor am I at all financially dependent on them (though they make it very clear that we should never hesitate to go to them if we have a financial emergency). My parents raised my brother and I to be very independent.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i turn to my mom for advice, but other than that, i don't really depend on my parents. i am the worst about calling them in that i never do.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Not at all. I love seeing them and spending time with them but we don't rely on them for anything.
nectarine / 2690 posts
I'm not. I know that they'd help me out in a pinch (monetary or other) if I needed them to, but I don't like receiving help from them. They raised me and spent enough of their money and energy on me growing up!
eggplant / 11716 posts
Only dependant for some emotional support from time to time. =) I moved to college when I was 18 and never lived at home again, not even for summers. I paid my tuition(loans) and housing (through working), bills, gas, etc.
My parents did buy me an old, beater car before I went to college, and they always paid my cell phone bill, because it was on a family plan and didn't cost them any extra money. Other than that, I've been independent for the last 14 years.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6581 posts
I'm not. I always took the position that if I was adult enough to live on my own, I was adult enough to not 'need' my parents anymore. If I can be married and have a kid, I can take care of my own business.
I have a co-worker in her 60s who literally spends 50% of her day on the phone to her grown, married kids. They call her so much for advice and help that it's just completely obnoxious.
honeydew / 7916 posts
Not at all. It annoys me too when I see people I know (married, with kids of their own) who couldn't take a breath without asking their parents how.
honeydew / 7444 posts
@blackbird: You would think, eh? I think it's very much parent/mom-enabled. My coworker's daughter got into a car accident, and she asked her mom to call the insurance company for her to make a claim.
@.twist.: No way!
coconut / 8498 posts
Only for advice and support. I know that they would drop everything to help us if we really needed it (time or monetarily), but we just don't.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
I might go to my parents for advice, but I've been completely self-sufficient since I went to college.
pineapple / 12802 posts
@JennyLayneAZ: Same! My folks would help me out in a pinch, but I try very hard not to ever ask them for monetary (or other, although I'd feel better about other) help.
@Freckles: way! Her kids who both drive and live on their own. hahaha
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
@freckles, definitely! And I know it's out there-the stories my coworkers tell make my jaw drop!
honeydew / 7091 posts
I'm not dependent on them for anything but advice and love. My sister, on the other hand... she's almost 22, has a 3 yo kid, still lives at home, and my parents do everything for her... >:-(
pomegranate / 3314 posts
Emotionally, I can be pretty dependent on my mom. However, we live a two hour flight away from her, so it's more like we talk a couple of days/week. She is the person I go to after DH if I'm having a hard time - like, after the birth of LO, for example. Financially, I haven't been dependent since college. Some of my (older) siblings still are and to be honest, it really bothers me that they take advantage of my parents that way.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I'm still on my parents cell phone plan because it's so much cheaper overall-- but they only have me pay the extra for my one line, rather than splitting out the total cost between all of us. Other than that, I only rely on them for emotional support. I've lived 5 hours away from them for 5 years, so it's hard to rely on them for much else anyway (though they do sometimes dogsit, at their convenience.)
coconut / 8472 posts
I don't depend on my parents', we do very well for ourselves. But they are very generous, which we're extremely grateful for.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Depends what you mean by dependent. Financially, we are independent, but my parents are of the mindset that they would like to see us enjoy some of what they sacrificed for while they are alive, so they can be very generous.
They are also very generous with their time, my dad is retired and he and my LO are best friends. It helps that we currently live next door to them, but that will change in a few months.
pomegranate / 3204 posts
Not at all.
I have a coworker who still pays her kids bills and they live out of the house and she has to do everything for them.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I'm amazed that everyone who has responded doesn't rely on their parents for anything. I am jealous of my and my husband's coworkers who have their parents to help them watch their lo's when they are at work. It really sucks not having family nearby to help out when you need help.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
My parents do a lot for us, not gonna lie.
My mom watches my son a day a week (for free and she travels 1.5 hrs each way to do it), our parents babysit all the time, my MIL cooks for us all the time, my parents buy our son tons of clothing, they are very generous with gifts to us....the list goes on. We have very, very generous parents emotionally and financially and while we rarely "ask" for the help, they offer it, and we take it. I see absolutely nothing wrong w/ this arrangement!
watermelon / 14206 posts
Not at all...I lived with them for 2 years, but even then I was able to make my own phone calls.
DH is a little dependent on his mom, although he's gotten better since I've came along (now he's dependent on me). We lived with his parents for a bit, and I would get annoyed when she'd call doctor offices and stuff for him. She's an enabler, though...trying to break her of that habit of wanting to do everything for him, still!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I depend on my mom as a babysitter. I get severe migraines so I need someone there on a moments notice, you cant hire someone to do that for you. Unless you're super rich, which I'm not. Without her I'd be screwed.
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
@mediagirl: Saying I don't rely on them doesn't mean I don't wish I could! Our parents live a plane ride away so child care isn't an option, though it would save us a TON of money and trouble if they lived closer and could help. We chose not to live anywhere near them though... so it's sort of just the way it goes that we are totally independent. (We would be financially anyway, though they are very generous).
honeydew / 7444 posts
@winniebee: I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! I think it's very different. Some people just can't do anything on their own, and i wonder how they'll function without their parents.
@mediagirl: I'd totally want help too if our families lived closeby.
coconut / 8472 posts
I wish my parents lived nearby enough to depend on them too! I would absolutely love it if my parents were close enough to watch LO for a day/week or every other week. And to be around for the occasionally babysitting for a night out.
My IL's live in the general area, but MIL is 40 minutes away in no traffic, she's still working, and she has no car. I can't see her loving the idea of babysitting. And FIL was not exactly a model father, which makes me leery of every leaving LO alone with him. He did lots of strange things, like make SIL wear pull-ups when she was 5 at Six Flags, so he wouldn't have to get out of line to take her to the bathroom.
pomelo / 5820 posts
My mom will be watching our LO once he is born and I go back to school! She wants to watch him though - she asked me if she could, haha. I guess I think of finances when I think of being dependent on them.... and we don't financially rely on either side.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 1 | 0 |
| Posts | 0 | 1 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
71 comments