coconut / 8475 posts
not one bit.
We are family and we help each other out with favors ALL THE TIME but, if my mom can't watch my son, I have like 5 babysitters on speed dial and I can afford them. So, I'd say: 100% independent.
Of course, I love my parents and need (want? enjoy?) their love, advice, support and company in my life.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
Emotionally very dependent but not at all financially. Yes they spoil us with vacations and gifts but we never ask them and we always offer to pay them for everything but they won't take it.
clementine / 972 posts
We aren't dependent on them for anything. But.. my BIL who is the same age as me (26) is still dependent on them for everything. They pay all his bills, they fix his car, do his laundry, cook for him.. they even paid for 6 years of undergrad for a sports management degree that he has zero desire to use. I think their need to "hold on to him as long as they can" is prohibiting him from growing up and being able to do things on his own. It's pretty crazy how different DH and I were raised (he's independent now, but for a while his parents would do everything/anything for him) and I hope we can find a good balance once we have our LO and she and her siblings grow up.
pomegranate / 3872 posts
Financially, not at all, although my parents like to treat us to dinner when we all go out, nice gifts and gifts for LO. We reciprocate though. We're not at the point of needing babysitters but I know when we get there my parents will be begging to do it. We definitely enjoy the support of my parents emotionally. My husband's parents aren't really involved in our day to day life because they live far away.
bananas / 9227 posts
My mom was never really there for me emotionally, so she tries to make up for it with gifts. Over the years, I've learned to just accept it. For instance, I know she's gonna buy DD a bunch of clothes for her birthday and the holidays, so I guess you can say I depend on that and don't shop as much for her. She's the same with my DH, in that she buys him clothes and because of it, I don't have to ever go shopping for him. With all that said, I never ask her for anything.
pear / 1693 posts
I don't get regular financial support from my parents, but my mom is generous frequently. She bought me a new computer when my old one was dying (I'm a student) and she recently paid for my wedding. My husband and I rent the bottom floor of my mom's house from her at fair market rent, but as we are expecting a babe soon she is switching the larger upstairs with us so we can have a nursery without increasing rent. I try to contribute a lot with other things such as I do all the shopping and cook dinner pretty much every night to compensate.
My dad is pretty much absent. Emotionally my mom and I have a great friendship.
pineapple / 12234 posts
I have felt very independent...until just recently my parents offered to loan us a bit of money on our new house. We really did not want to accept. If anything, we want them to be able to rely on us soon. We are trying to pay them back a week from receiving the money. Otherwise, we haven't accepted favors, baby sitting, meals, etc.
We do have quite a few friends who are married with children and their parents still pay for EVERYTHING. It's so weird!
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
My parents are amazing for advice and are always there for us be we run our own lives. I'm pretty sure DH and my income is the same as theres anyhow.
apricot / 280 posts
Not at all. My parents spoil us when it comes to birthdays and holidays but that's really it. We've been independent for many years.
pear / 1787 posts
We had a really rough year financially, and my parents were very generous and helped us out financially on several occasions. I'm very grateful. I definitely depend on my mom for emotional support as well!
squash / 13764 posts
Not at all anymore. My parents paid my rent while I was in grad school though. Once I got a job I was in my own.
eggplant / 11408 posts
I think "dependent" is a hard word. It's so negative. In that sense, I agree, I don't like to have a crutch for things I should be able to do on my own, like pay the bills, or take responsibility for being an adult.
But I grew up with both of my grandmothers within a mile of me, and we saw them all the time. They would bring my mom dinner, come up unexpectedly on Sundays, watch us during the week, make sure we went to bed on time when my mom worked evenings at the hospital and my dad had to teach. They were amazing, not because my parents couldn't have found a way to do it on their own, but because they wanted to help. And we became close to them, too.
Our kids won't be near either set of grandparents, and that makes me a little sad. I wish they would have that chance, but I know lots of people don't. I'm just grateful that I did.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'll ask my dad for his opinion on stuff or at least keep them informed, but that's about it. Once I moved away from home, that was it! Hubby has been on his own since he was 16.
We have friends that rely on their parents for everything and it annoys the crap out of me. If you didn't know them personally, you would have never guessed they had 2 kids!!
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
We don't depend on them for anything other than emotional support!
My parents spoil us rotten though, every vacation they go on they still take me, my sister, her SO and DH. They go all out for Christmas and birthdays, etc.
pear / 1812 posts
Not at all. It is nice when they help out and we are new to owning a home so we use their help and suggestions when it comes to home maintenance and fixing things but that is about it. I like being independent from them. It makes our relationship that much better.
grapefruit / 4442 posts
no my parents were dependent on me because they immigrated to the US
apricot / 432 posts
Not at all. I think my parents (my mom especially) are way more dependent on us.
pomegranate / 3003 posts
We're a tight knit family, and live in the same town, so we're supportive of each other, emotionally.
We're currently a one car couple while we shop for a new, family vehicle. My dad (retired) occasionally lets me borrow his car, or gives me a lift from work when I don't carpool. I usually take him out for tea those days, and it's nice to catch up with him.
That being said, we don't rely on my parents for much, and definitely not at all, financially.
My DH is the most independent of his siblings. One of his sister's lives on his parents' property, while another is also looking to move her family in to save costs. They are constantly babysitting their grandkids, and are often hit up for cash to help with bills. We keep our distance from this kind of behavior, since it just rubs us the wrong way.
coconut / 8299 posts
@Pepper: Same! My mom watches my LO so I definitely depend on her to take good care of my daughter! But financially, we're not dependent on our parents at all. We actually support THEM financially. But I"m super close to my mom so I do depend on her for emotional support a lot. She's my best friend!
pomegranate / 3863 posts
Well, I work for my Dad and my mom watches my LO during the day so in that respect, I am dependent on them! But they don't give us money, just emotional support when we need it!
pear / 1609 posts
Not at all since they are deceased but as soon as I moved out it was understood I could take care of myself. If I did need money they would definitely help out from time to time. My DH would be totally dependent on his mom if it wasnt for me. When we moved in together she wanted to come over everyday to make us dinner and clean our house since I was I school and working. I had to tell her no (because DH can never say no to his parents) and she cried
I felt bad, but seriously, we are adults we can take care of ourselves!
pomelo / 5321 posts
We're really independent. The only time we've been dependent on family was when we first moved to Hawaii. Our pay was delayed and we borrowed $200 from my dad to get us by. We paid him back when our pay hit. It was no big deal.
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
We're not dependent on them in that we couldn't survive without them, but they do help us out a lot. For example, our parents pay for our meals when we go out to dinner with them, our moms will watch Sadie when I go back to work, they stop by with diapers & formula pretty frequently, etc. They do lots of little things that are huge blessings to us, but they aren't necessary & we don't expect them. I have no guilt or shame in accepting anything from them, as I know it makes them happy.
honeydew / 7968 posts
Wow, they don't do anything for me unless I ask for a favor, like helping me with my babies.
pear / 1769 posts
I'm not going to lie, until recently I had my mom set up doctors appointments because I'm still on my dads plan and didn't know anything about who was in network. I have switched doctors a lot over the past couple of years.
Other than that, I'm not dependent, but do ask for their opinions on a lot of things.
grapefruit / 4311 posts
Not at all. My mom passed away when I was 13. My dad helped out a with insurance until I was out of college. Otherwise financially and emotionally 100% independent. I am definitely jealous of friends who are close with parents though.
pomegranate / 3980 posts
I haven't even almost relied in my parents since high school. Even in high school I did most things on my own.
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
They do things for me (give me honey from their bees, other farmy goodness, help us move) and I do stuff for them (Redesigning my mom's blog right now). I think it's become more balanced as I've gotten older, but I've always been really independent and hate accepting any money.
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