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I think it just takes time, and seeing that your decisions are leading to a healthy, happy baby. I definitely questioned myself in the beginning, but having LO grow and be healthy and develop well made me feel more confident.

@illumina: i agree with the pp...and like you said, you just got to go with your instinct...some folks may not agree with your decisions but who cares because in the end, you are doing what is right for your child...

I think stopped being as anxious when I went back to work. The time away made me chill out!

Part of it is recognizing that all babies are different and so are parents. What works for one baby may not work for another. I always wonder why people think that one method works solely for all babies. Also some parents have different priorities. If you want to exclusively BF all the time, by all means do it. At the end of the day you know what your kids needs.

When #2 came along!

I was a mess with my first but when my second came along I was sooo much more relaxed as a parent - I enjoyed it much more!

It took a few months. in the beginning, i didn't feel like i was easily manipulated and pushed around, but in hindsight, i was. 6 months in, it's all like water off a duck's back.

Keep in mind that most of what other people tell you is based on what worked for their child at one point in time. What works for one kid may not work for the next and what works one week certainly won't work forever.

I've given friends advice based on what was working at the moment and wondered why they aren't doing it "right." It's incredibly humbling when it stops working for you days later.

@illumina: When I started listening to my gut and getting feedback (a snuggle, smile, laugh, etc.) from DS. I was a mess at first, I was getting advice from everyone, finally when I stopped to realize what was working and concentrate on how to do more of that, it all clicked. I stopped putting all the unnecessary pressure on myself to "exclusively" breastfeed, and get DS "on a schedule", those ideals just didn't work for us. As soon as I gave up the idea of what I thought was supposed to happen, everything just fell into place.

I think that really, truly believing that your instincts are correct is a great way to start. Does something feel right? Then believe it! Empowering yourself to really believe that your choices and gut instincts are correct is the best way to have confidence in your parenting.

This definitely gets easier with time. I remember one of the first things a visitor/seasoned mom said to me the week I got home from the hospital with my first child was, "just trust your instincts". That was the least helpful advice ever cuz I had noooo idea what my instincts were. I had no instincts - I was lost and confused and everything was a guessing game to me. Those instincts develop over time, and soon we'll all be doling out advice like, "trust your instincts" because they do start to become second nature and maybe one day we'll really forget about a time when we didn't know what these instincts were, ha!

As a first time mom, I read soo many different books and articles by so-called "experts", and so many seasoned parents chimed in with their opinions on what was right (with good intentions) that it made me feel like I had to do everything exactly so... or else I'd set myself up for future problems. I got a lot of opinions on how to get my daughter to sleep better - "don't use sleep props", "don't rock", "make sure it's really bright and loud in the day to avoid day/night confusion", "make sure you don't introduce a bottle too soon or else they'll get nipple confusion", and a load of other crap that just stressed me out.

With my 2nd child, I threw everything out the window and just did what worked for us based on my child's personality and what I had already learned along the way - it's been so much better this way!! Our babies are so much more adaptable than we give them credit for. I don't know any adults that can't sleep alone, that still drinks from a bottle, that doesn't know how to use the potty, etc. - we all eventually get there in time!

With that said, I don't think the worry and anxiety ever fully goes away. The challenges continue to change, but our confidence as parents does grow in time and we learn to better tune out the naysayers. I am a mom of two and am still questioning my parenting decisions, and am still learning as I go along, but I know this will be a lifelong thing. I'm sure when my son and daughter are in their 40s and I'm in my 70s I'll still worry!!

What helps me keep my expectations realistic (like not making the introduction of formula a big deal or feeding them "unhealthy" foods like chicken nuggets or bagel bites for dinner every so often, or err... too often...) is looking back on how I was raised and realizing that I turned out ok despite some not so perfect choices my parents made. A lot of times they were just working their butts off to get food on the table so we could have a roof over our heads! I was formula-fed, I grew up on pizza, hot dogs, and mcdonald's, and on and on... and it keeps things in perspective. It helps me realize that our kids are more resilient than we give them credit for.

Just do your best, be present, give them your time, your heart, love them with all you've got... and they'll turn out more than alright.

Eta: Ohmygoodness I didn't mean to write an essay!! I think I got a little carried away here....