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@MrsBananaGrabber: Are you guys in a place where you could pick out some of the keepsakes to store, then throw away the rest?

I'd probably take her stuff, just to help clean out her attic! This way, she can share memories and details about items...

For gear I said "we are super excited to buy our own!" And people usually said "I don't blame you - I was too!" For clothes I take and then donate what we won't use.

@MrsBananaGrabber: for gear I said we've already got one of those from someone else, or we're trying to keep big items to a minimum and waiting to see what the baby likes/needs, i'll get back to you.

Other things I just took, we'll try and pass it on to someone else if it's not for us.

@MrsBananaGrabber: your mom can wash them? My mom got a ton of used baby toys from neighbors and friends and just washed them before we came over.. And if your mom understands your feelings on used things, you can just tell her what you do or don't want your kid to play with?

I said, "No thanks." Surprisingly, it got no argument.

I would claim FTM worries. "I wish I had your years of perspective so I could use this gear. It probably is safe but after all the scary things I've read it would keep me up at night. Silly me." Or take it to get it out of her place and then say you couldn't stop worrying so you found another home for it.

@MrsBananaGrabber: what about: this is our first baby and we would love to have some new things purchased. We would love to come over and look at what you have and try to incorporate heirloom items.

Since she is looking to get rid of stuff maybe you can just say no and she might not be offended.

This is hard. I usually just take it and donate what I don't want to use. We have a drive thru goodwill near us that is pretty convenient. My MIL wants us to use the bassinet that she used for my husband and his sister for the new baby, but we declined. Well, actually, we told her we'd let her know and just haven't brought it up. We just don't have room for it and we are planning to cosleep at first, using a rock n play when needed.

ETA: Before I had Liam, we got so many hand me downs, especially clothes. It kind of annoyed me because I didn't want to go through everything and deal with taking the rejects to the donation center, but now I am SO glad I have them. He has so many great things that he wears all the time that were hand me downs, even now at almost 3 years old. We got even more hand me down clothes for Grace and I am so grateful.

Depending on the person, I'd likely just take it, sort through it, and donate what I didn't need. Some people would be responsive to me saying " I don't need anything" but others might be offended.

I tried pointing out to my MIL once that I thought something she bought for DS is not safe... it did not go over well. In hindsight, it's better to go the route of "we already have this/someone already promised us theirs," and maybe offer to help your grandma clear out the attic and donate something, if you have time and are feeling up to it.

And you never know, you may turn up some old favorites you'll actually want to pass to your child I'd love it if my parents have kept some of my old toys for DS... too bad we moved so much it wasn't possible!

I told my MiL that I was worried about hinges and stuff having worn down over time.

I have a neighbor who has started giving me EVERYthing of her sons that she wants to get rid of. It's a tricky situation, because while I know she is just being generous, she never actually asks if I want any of it, she just knocks on my door then dumps it all in my house, and won't let me get a word in if I start to try and politely refuse. To make matters worse, her son is almost 3 (my baby is not yet born!) so most of the stuff will have to be stored for a couple of years and we really don't have any storage space in our apartment. At the moment my plan is to donate a lot of it because we just don't have room to keep it, and a lot of it is stuff I know I probably won't use... but I do feel guilty about doing this.