Hellobee Boards

you sound like me! dh travels a lot for work and is in the wine industry so we go with the seasons. he gets the winters off and I think that's a big help with our oldest who is 5yo. otherwise I actually enjoy solo parenting in that things are done the way I want them and the baby's routine is mine. i'm kind of a lone wolf in that i love to go out by myself and spending most of the day by myself doesn't bother me. we see my mil/fil almost every weekend though which helps me not feel like a hermit! i feel good about it all because I can focus on my kids for now. take care of your health and treat yourself here and there and it all works out in the end. a lot of it is your mentality.

@Bao: I'd definitely set up some play dates or other activities. I'm a WAHM and DH is gone 5:30 am - 7 pm. I take DD to little gym or the library or a play group every day.

@Bao: HAHA! before our second, yes! i worked in the industry for a while too so really got a great appreciation for what dh does.

I WOH, but I'm solo parenting a good majority of May-Aug each year. It's hard. On the days I'm home all day with her, I make sure we get out of the house at least once. Now that we have a swing, I anticipate us spending more time outside next summer. But it's hard.

My husband and I work opposite schedules. I work the traditional 8am-4:30pm M-F job, and he works nights and weekends (every night/weekend during the school year.). Our time together is rare and I solo parent most of the time.
I try to set up fun things to do - we do movie night, pizza night (I can't cook every night alone), we bake together. I make a lot of weekend plans with family & friends so that I can actually see the world and other people (not just my coworkers during the day).
Sunday nights are tough, but it's pretty much my only opportunity to go out by myself, so I'll see if a friend can catch up for a bite or a movie on Sundays.
It's tough!

DH is gone 7 AM to 10 PM three days a week, and 7 AM to 7 PM the other two. I joined my local MOMS club, and it's been amazing. We have play dates or field trip a couple of times a week. Today, we are going to a farm that has a petting zoo, pony rides and a pumpkin patch! It's good socialization for them but it's also much needed for me.

It isn't horrible during the week since I am at work and she is at day care. But some nights the couple hours before bedtime feel like 10. We go to CFA some nights with another Mom/son from day care or just us. Even on nights when DH is home, he usually works late, so I am still on my own. Which is even harder cause she knows he is home, just in his office. Next week he will be gone all week, then gone over the weekend for a guys trip, and then gone again the next week. It sucks, but a weekend away is rare for him. So I set up to go visit my parents and take her to a pumpkin farm on Sat. Then have a Halloween party on Sunday. Getting out of the house helps me a lot.

My DH is at work quite a bit too and then studies a lot of evenings and weekends. I stay at home too.

Typical every morning we get out of the house. Then home for lunch and nap. Then we go for a walk or grocery shop before DH gets home.

This week before nap:
Monday: went for a walk and had to go run some errands
Tuesday: went to the apple orchard
Wednesday: went for a walk with friends then to her house to play
Thursday: friends came over to do a craft and play
Friday: we will go swimming

I need to get out to help the morning go faster!

DH travels for work 4 days a week every week. So I do a lot of solo parenting. Honestly, I personally don't find it that bad. We get into our routines and things are done the way I want them done. I try to get out of the house most days even if it is just to run a quick errand or simply window shop. I'm sure we'll do more library story times, museums, etc as DD gets older.

@MrsSRS: target is my daughters fav store, even just to peruse! haha

I'm a SAHM/WAHM and DH usually leaves for work before LO gets up. On average, two nights per week he will be home for dinner and I will have some help for the 1-2 hours of dinner, bath, and her bedtime routine. But at least half the time during the work week, she sees DH for maybe 30 minutes before going to bed.

Luckily we are together on the weekend but to be honest, it is still hard because I am more hands on during the weekend too, and I have been doing it nonstop all week already. It's hard to not get a break - and I don't know how you do it with 2! At least she is a good napper so I get that time every day though I usually have to work or do housework. (Or I sit on HB, ha.)

To answer your question, how I survive is lots of Diet Coke, counting my blessings as well as counting the days until family visits and we can get a date night!

I did recently start going to a gym and even though I feel guilty about the expense and sending LO to the childcare, I think it is good for me.

I don't usually think if it as solo parenting because then I'd probably get really sad - haha! DH is gone from 5.30/6am until 7.30/8pm every night - sometimes longer if he makes the gym too. Luckily I can SAH with our one LO, but we have zero family here and no friends who are close enough to count on for help. So it gets realllly hard when LOis sick, as we can't leave the house much (& I lose my mind)! I e tried really hard to meet other mums in the area but I've either only met families who are living here semi-temporarily so they have all left already, or the local mums have already got their friends and aren't interested in making new ones!

I always wonder if I made life supremely hard for myself by having a baby in a city with no support network! We see our parents a few times a year but it's so not enough. This is why we are moving back to my home town before we have a second LO...plus I know it's not my friend's responsibility to hang out with us, but was definitely hurt by the lack of love after LO was born. Friendships changing has been another surprising change that I didn't see coming. Sorry for the rambling!

I take a short nap during her nap time, and I go for an afternoon walk. They both help keep my energy up (which is the hardest thing for me- I get fatigued pretty easily and then I just want to die.)
I try to predict my own "witching hour" (while I'm tired and trying to get dinner ready), and have some kind of independent activity (playdoh, set up a picnic for her babies, get out the train set...whatever) or job she can help with.

Have phone dates set up with friends so that I get some adult socializing in in the evening.

Going outside always helps us. Oh, and if I'm just over it and it's only 2:00 pm, I try baking with her!

I SAHM and DH travels for work here and there. He's been gone overnight at least once a week for the past 5 weeks, and next week he'll be gone tuesday-friday. The days don't feel any different but the mornings and evenings are rough. In the morning, I just try to get up earlier before the kids so I can prepare for the rush out the door....or I don't schedule anything that morning so we can hang out and just go for a walk or something. In the evening, I just take care of one at a time. DD1 loves to help putting DD2 to bed, so that helps. And if DD1 goes to bed 30 minutes later, so be it. So to answer your question, I put a lot less pressure on myself and find that if I limit my expectations, it goes smoother for everyone.

Friends and focusing on each day rather than counting down. DH is on his first long trip, about 3 weeks. I also communicate a lot with coworkers so they know my schedule limitations.

Does anyone else think it is crazy how much adults are working these days? My DH also works 5:30 am to 6:30 pm, plus some weekends and traveling once a month. Reading everyone's' posts it sounds like many others are working crazy long hours too!

I'm going to get a taste of it. DH is going on a two week work trip. I could do it with just her while traveling for a week at a time but to be home alone with her for so long is a little nerve wracking.

I solo parent a huge portion of the week. Here is what our weeks look like:

DH:
Monday-Thursday: 6am-11:45pm (work/ school)
Friday: 6am-3:30 (work)
Saturday and Sunday: family time

Myself and my boys:
Monday: catch up from the weekend (most weekends we travel)
Tuesday: Feeding Therapy for E.
Wednesday: OT for E, Speech for N, then off for an afternoon play date.
Thursday: the local children's museum
Friday: cleaning house and meal planning before DH gets off work. After DH is off we hit the grocery store.
Saturday and Sunday: whatever weekend plans we have.

I would be lying if I said I liked our schedule and most nights I don't see DH at all because I fall asleep on couch and he is gone before I wake up. I found the best we can do is just stay very busy.

Big hugs momma