clementine / 927 posts
My DH now works a predictable 830-6 and only has a 10 minute commute. Sometimes will do reading at home. Prob 50 hours/week now. He previously worked at a hedge fund and worked 630-7, would do 10 mins of bedtime reading w the kids, then work from home for a few more hours. So it was more like 70 hours/week - so hard. He took a pay cut for this new job but our overall quality of life is so much better.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
My husband works for a global firm, and he supports an area that isn't in this country, so that requires him to be on site and when he is in the US, work their hours. He might have a call at 6:30 am, but then he's done by 3 in the afternoon. Both of us work nights and weekends about once a quarter, but we know well in advance and one of us is always available to do the parenting duties, which is good. I would estimate he works about 60 hours a week.
While this may sound terrible on the surface, it's also his home country, so it gives us the best of both worlds.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
It just depends. Some weeks less than 40. Some weeks it could be 80. We thought it would get better after the first few years and I would say it has somewhat but it's just hit or miss.
pear / 1728 posts
DH works a pretty consistent 40 hours/week with a 30-45 min commute. He does travel about 25% of the time though.
With the exception of a few weeks per year I work exactly 40 hours per week. I'm paid for overtime work and my company tries to avoid it when possible.
grape / 89 posts
DH works right around 40. I'm the one who works long hours in our marriage. I average about 55 or so, but go up to 65 or 70 in my really busy times. This is combined with me traveling almost every weekend from January-April. During the summer I only work 40 hours with no travel. I know it's hard on DH but he's a trooper and doesn't complain (too much).
pomegranate / 3938 posts
We both work 40 hrs/week. I work 8-5 with a 1 hr lunch; he works 7-3:30 with a 30 min. lunch.
He works for the county so he is on call in the winter if it snows - which hasn't happened yet. He would then go in at 5 am until 5 depending on roads.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I have no idea how many hours he actually works. He is a pastor and while his day time schedule is more flexible (so he drops off and picks up and makes dinner before I get home), he also works weekends, nights, basically never stops
pomelo / 5252 posts
@Lahela017: Same, we're both very much 9 to 5 hours. I can't imagine either of us having such long work days!
I actually switched careers because I used to have to work weekends, holidays, and weird hours (in the news business) and I was tired of it. Now I'm at a university where the official, full-time schedule is 35 hours plus an hour for lunch. My husband is a programmer and WFH.
clementine / 904 posts
@FaithFertility: My husband works in IT but has a very similar schedule, except I think his is 2-3-2. So one week, he'll work Mon and Tues, be off Wed-Fri, then work Sat and Sun. Then the next week, he'll be off Mon and Tues, work Wed-Fri, and be off Sat and Sun. He has 12 hour shifts from 7 am - 7 pm when he works.
I don't like that he works every other weekend. I'm used to it now, but it's still tough because he misses lots of family events. And I feel like we have to pack so many things into the weekends he is off, we're constantly on the go those days.
He also doesn't get any holidays off, which we're both a little bitter about, because that wasn't disclosed before he took this job. If he's scheduled to work on a holiday, he works. And if he's scheduled to be off, he's off. They have PTO blackout dates around holidays, so it means we never get to enjoy a long holiday weekend. He's either working that Fri and Mon or that Sat and Sun.
He does enjoy his days off during the week though, and he usually gets things done around the house during that time. I work a normal 40 hour week, but I work from home, so I do get to see him around the house on those days. Our daughter goes to daycare full-time because 1) She was already on that schedule when he started that shift and 2) I don't know of any daycare that would accommodate a rotating shift. So when he's off during the week, he doesn't have to worry about parenting. He can do home improvement projects, general chores, and does a lot of the grocery shopping. I'm still jealous though that he gets to enjoy a lot of days off work child-free, when half of mine are spent solo parenting all day. And because he can't take time off, I'm always the one taking vacation when daycare is closed for holidays.
We've managed to make it work for 3 years so far, but he's starting to get tired of the schedule. I think the holidays are what's really getting to him. He's a bit underemployed in his current situation, as he took a step down to get out of a really stressful job. He enjoyed the mental break at first, but I think he's getting ready to look for something different. If he's able to find a typical 9-5 job, then I guess we'll have a different stress of trying to fit all those chores in on the weekend, instead of him having time during the week.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
Dh works 60+ hrs a week. Mostly at his office..some at home.
I solo parent most weeknights.
Some nights he doesn't get home until well after we're all asleep.
His day starts at 9 am... Then he basically works until he's done.. He tries to leave the office between 5-6 and Then he'll finish when he gets home but sometimes he has to stay in the office. Depends what's going on
nectarine / 2461 posts
@jape14: same, although my husband went in house a few years ago. It’s so much better. He maintains the big firm experience made him a better lawyer and writer but especially now that we have babies he’s glad the 55-85 hr weeks are in the past.
kiwi / 510 posts
So many DHs who are lawyers here! DH is a lawyer and now in house after years in big law. I’d say it’s about 45 hours/week in the office and another 5-10 at home most week but sometimes less at home. So he still works kind of a lot but he has way more control over his schedule than he did at the law firm and can leave early if necessary. I am annoyed he doesn’t have one of those cushy in house gigs but he likes what he does...
persimmon / 1367 posts
DH works a completely predictable 8:30 - 5 schedule M-F, which includes a lunch break. He almost never works at home in any way. I'm the one with the crazy schedule, with lots of day trips that make my schedule unpredictable and working at home outside of work hours. I oversee services in an industry that is operating 24/7/365, so I have to be available to address issues pretty much at any time. I have no idea how much time I actually work each week! The trade off is that my work is very flexible and I basically make my own schedule, so I'm available for appointments or to occasionally get errands done during the day. But, DH does all the daycare drop-offs and pickups, that's the only way it would work!
olive / 64 posts
@Becky: it’s so hard! I find myself getting jealous of my friends who simply get to eat dinner with their husbands during the week. Or when I see dads picking up their kids at my daughters preschool! I’m also 28 weeks pregnant and very emotional right now
@jape14: when he first started his job, his intention was to put in a few years at big law and then move in house. But now he actually really likes it and is considering staying and trying to make partner...
nectarine / 2769 posts
DH is an engineer and works 830-530 + 45 min commute. Rarely ever has to work weekend, no work once he's home. He occasionally has to travel for a few nights. I'm a psychologist and work 9-330 + 1 late night until 6 + 20 min commute, and 2 hrs on Sunday. I consider us very lucky!
persimmon / 1042 posts
@LBarn: It’s tough having DH work a lot and most weekenights I’m in bed half asleep when he comes home. We do a lot of “catching up” on Fridays and Sundays. It’s tough.
Thank you everyone for sharing- I sometimes feel alone knowing DH works long hours to provide for us. I didn’t realize it’s somewhat a “norm” with a variety of professions etc.
nectarine / 2028 posts
@ChitownRo: Sounds like the exact kind of job change my husband and I are hoping for with his next position. Also would love if his job was a 10 minute commute from our future house in your area.
clementine / 849 posts
Another DH who is an attorney... also was at big law for years then went in house. His current gig still has him working about 60 hours a week, though. The other week he had phone meetings at all hours of the night with people overseas, and pulled an all nighter. Ugh!
nectarine / 2040 posts
DH is a full time professor at an art school. His “official” work hours are 18 or 24 hours per week depending on the semester. But he spends a lot of time grading, writing curriculum and attending meetings. He also has to keep a studio practice. I don’t keep track of how much he works at home, but I would say it’s probably close to 40 during the school year. He has A LOT of time off for breaks and during those times, he probably works 30 hours/week in the studio, unless daycare is closed. He does A LOT around the house and I really can’t imagine what our lives would be like without the flexibility his job affords, even though I get really jealous of his schedule!
pear / 1809 posts
DH works about a 45 hour week in the office, but he also works from home as needed during evenings and weekends, so it ends up being a lot more than 45 hours a week. He's always "on call," so if he gets a work call or text, he responds immediately.
pineapple / 12053 posts
DH is a firefighter so scheduled 24 hour shifts averaging 60 hr/week but he works OT often so we’ll round up to 84/week. His schedule can be rough but then he’ll be home in the middle of the week and it’s great!
honeydew / 7222 posts
My DH is also an attorney but works in-house and has pretty great hours - about 40-45, but commutes 1-1.5 hr each way... I work about 40 hrs a week but can do one work-from-home day which is so key. My commute is long, but not as bad as DH's, mine is about 1 hr each way.
clementine / 794 posts
On a typical week DH works 40 hours. His company does consulting work for other companies so occasionally when they have a huge project nearing a deadline he will work late hours. Last week for example, he worked 8am-7pm almost every day (except Friday when he worked 1pm-8pm, because he was originally planning on taking holiday that day but wasn't able because of the project so he went in late).
pomegranate / 3217 posts
My husband leaves the house around 7:30 or 8am, and he gets home around 8pm most of the time. He used to work later more frequently but now we have infant twins.
I commute after 8:45 preschool dropoff, and I get home at 7.
We are both dealing with less “stretch” in our day now that we have three kids. It is a lot harder to check in with work while we are home now.
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