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I would probably pay it but I wouldn't be happy about it. I think that's a huge expense for a day out and wouldn't even come close to spending that normally. $125 is more than we paid per person for guests at our wedding.
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@SweetiePie: I have considered that but I am on mat leave and my pay has been cut in half for a whole year.
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@Mrs D: I totally understand. It was one of the maids who refused to pay that much, so I can't imagine asking them to pay more. The rest of the bride's friends are very successful CPAs. I have been out with then before and I think they would expect to spend at least that. I agree, it's always awkward when things involve money. This is why I eloped.
I did put in the post that this was merely a suggestion and I would be shopping around for the best deal if this is what we wanted to do. I also asked if anyone had other ideas and was met with her not so helpful comment. -
@Truth Bombs: I'm with you. I'd be plenty happy with $125. I normally spend like $250+ depending on what it is--with drinks/dinner/accommodations/activities. A lot bachelorette parties these days end up turning into a full weekend!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: They have been friends since childhood.
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@simplyfelicity: I would definitely ask the unhappy bridesmaid what her alternative, budget friendly suggestion would be (that the bride would still enjoy!). I was a bridesmaid for my SIL's wedding recently and the bachelorette was such a nightmare. The girls all wanted to do a really nice weekend away, but didn't want to actually pay what it would cost to do that. They were suggesting things like renting a house the technically slept half as many people as were in our group. UHHHHH... I'm too damn old to sleep on the floor next to someone I don't know very well.
While its nice to be conscious of being budget friendly, it also can suck to have to go to the lowest common denominator and have everyone else (including the bride) be let down by the event for the sake of one person's budget constraints.
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@Mrs D: also, I thought about having different cars, etc but I feel like the point is to be together.
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I'd be super happy if $125 was all a bachelorette party was going to cost me! But I've been jaded by an experience where we were originally asked to choose between options that were like $700 to $1,000 per person and we were able to negotiate down to like $400...
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@wonderstruck: I totally understand. I definitely didn't phrase it like "this IS what we are doing" but was just a suggestion and I also asked for other ideas. FTW, I don't have the means of many on HB but I know I could save up for the party. This is just what happens at weddings. I just hope she will offer suggestions vs just saying "no" to everything.
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@wonderstruck: Agreed. Of course, all the weddings I have been in were in my early twenties when that would have seemed expensive but been manageable with 12 months notice. Now, with two kids and one salary, not really my priority.
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@simplyfelicity: I've known my bestie since 2nd grade, so that changes things in what I'd expect from your friend's friends. You'd think the loudest one would offer up a suggestion at least.
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@wonderstruck: That is a very good point and I totally agree. But, I will say that my friend that got married recently is definitely middle class (or even less than that honestly) and so was everyone that joined. Of course budgets vary but no one was "all PBK furniture" level.
We didn't do dinner out to save on the budget and brought our own finger foods at the hotel room. We made spiked punches so girls wouldn't have to buy lots of drinks out. Most of us shared a bed in the hotel room to cut costs.
Still, after decorations, supplies and the hotel room, plus actually going out, it was definitely a lot more than $125 for the bridesmaids. (Her friends that were not in the bridal party only paid for their drinks out and their part of their hotel room.) Being in a wedding is just plain expensive.
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I would expect to pay at least that much. We did the same for my bachelorette party (limo & wineries) and stayed at my cousins rental house near the Hamptons (for free!) for the weekend. My friends are NOT loaded, at all. All except one were moms. They all drove there or took a train. I think they spent around $200 total for the weekend and were happy to do it. Everyone is different and has different priorities I guess.
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I think its a reasonable price based on what my friends and I have done over the years.
Nothing frustrates me more than the person who vetoes everything but offers no alternatives....
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Wow. This thread is totally eye opening. I'm pretty happy I never posted my rant about a $100/per person party! I thought it was totally insane, but here I am feeling a little crazy right now reading through the responses here!
I will say, that the Bachelorette I went to that was $100/person was super fun. Although, I felt like pieces could have totally been removed (two strippers? really?) Anyway, I will reconsider my view on this!
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@.twist.: OH Lord, that's definitely an expense to be cut. I have spent a boatload of money on bachelorette parties in my day, but not a single one has had a stipper.
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@Truth Bombs: I completely agree. It would be one thing if this was her birthday...plus, she does many of her friends' taxes for them, is always the first to offer help etc...I guess I feel like she deserves "more."
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@psw27: That's my biggest frustration. I am not going to make anyone feel bad about their means...It just seems appropriate to offer a suggestion.
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