Hellobee Boards

Have you tried the it's complicated line? I think that would be enough of a clue for me, but maybe not everyone...

Oh that must be frustrating! I like the idea of a card to give out to nosy people with educational resource links or and a brief statement about your family if you want to include that. We had something similar to that for concerned citizens when I was working with people with special needs who were highly behavioral. It's really not a strangers business and its so unfair for you to be required to educate the world. I gotta come up with something snappy for you to respond with though. I'll be thinking for you.

My 8 month old LO was born without sight in his right eye, and his eye is significantly smaller as well. Most people don't know it's a health issue, but I get questions and comments ALL THE TIME about how he's sleeping with one eye open, or he's winking. Most of the comments are well-meaning, and I go back and forth on how to respond. Most times so far I just smile, nod and walk away since I don't want to have the conversation and risk getting emotional. But I'm thinking that I should start giving a more truthful response, if for no other reason than the sake of education. I'd like to keep it short, though!

One piece of advice I got was to rehearse possible responses (sounds cheesy, but I guess it works!). You could try to head off further questions by saying he got his feeding tube from a brain injury at birth, and it's complicated! I think you can communicate by body language when you're done with the conversation.

But some people are just super curious and won't let it go I sympathize!

I grew up with a sister with a rare and relatively severe intellectual disability and we certainly didn't explain the finer details. In your situation, I'd probably volunteer that it was a feeding tube but then pull the "It's complicated" line for any further questions unless you feel like talking about it. I wouldn't worry too much about strangers thinking that's rude... They are the ones asking about something that's none of their business anyway.

The questions must be so stressful, just hearing the same things over and over again. I'm sorry, mama! As PP have said, you're well within your rights to say as little as you want, or nothing at all.

@beaker: we have a similar dilemma with visible medical equipment and I wish I had a good answer. I try to be short with inquirers because it's none of their business and I don't want to share LO's medical history but I always feel guilty because they're usually coming from a genuine place (it usually starts with "you have the cutest LO!") so I don't want to be rude but I also don't want to delve into a huge conversation with anyone who asks. We go to a playgroup and I've asked this question there and everyone said they just give as little information as possible and try to divert/end the conversation.

I wish I had better advice!

@beaker: similar to what @mrbee: said, I have a friend who printed up a business card. It didn't give her daughters specific story but a link an explanation of her birth injury, and a link to charity associated with the type of injury she had.

She had a tough time in the beginning explaining without getting emotional, so this aloud for her to be short and sweet and say you can find out more here, and she felt as though she was helping out others maybe through donations.