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Once I go back to work after mat leave, the entire family will be on my insurance because it's way better than my husbands. Way better. I have had two kids in 2 years for a total of $20.

After I pay insurance, commuting costs (gas, tolls, parking spot), and child care for 2, plus my student loan, I'm just breaking even.

But you know...I work 9 months of the year, so...most days I feel like it's worth it.

To me, thinking about whether to work or not is not a decision really based on finances. I'm not happy staying home every day. With that said, if I was in the position of not breaking even with childcare, I'd stay home. Rhabkfully though, the finances are definitely in favor of me working, even with high daycare costs.

Right now I make about $1400 above childcare, this is one 3 year old in daycare full-time. On the weekend I work casually and teach art classes to people in the community - it's not steady but I rely on about 200-300 a month from this. I don't pay for daycare during this time because DD is either with DH or a grandparent. This doesn't seem like much but my contribution to the family can't be denied.

The money I make (above childcare) goes towards all our utility bills, gas in my car, a big grocery run, contributions to my retirement and DD's education savings plan - and if everything comes out rosy at the end of month I squirrel away money for clothing a gifts. I can't help with debt reduction and the mortgage, let alone emergency savings - which sucks because with just DH working away on these, we will be in debt a long time. I've sort of come to terms with I'm not in a high earning part of my life.

Once I have my second, and return from mat-leave, I don't believe I will feel like it would be worth it to return to work. Considering commuting to the office, which is half hour one way, and things like work wardrobe, I did the math and I'll have about $300 a month in my pocket after childcare for 2, which is mostly due to the high cost of care for an infant in my area. Might cover groceries?

So I'm considering a career change or staying home for a few years and just continuing working casually on the weekend. Such hard decisions and leaving my full-time job is not something I will do lightly.

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I would have to make a lot beyond childcare to be tempted to go back to work, but my situation is unique.

For the most part my husband is gone more often than he's here and I need to flexibility to be with my kids (something I would NOT have in the field my degree is in). I worked 80 hours a week regularly before having kids, and that's just kinda standard for what I did. It wouldn't be fair for my kids to have a deployed father and a mom that works that much with their entire extended family on the other side of the country.

Plus it's hard to find decent jobs as a military spouse because we move every three years. And I can't control where we go, so it's not like I get to look for an area with a good job market.

I'm lucky enough I found something completely unrelated to my degree that I can do from home with minimal childcare that I find personally fulfilling, otherwise I would have lost my mind by now, lol.

When DH retires in 6 years (I'll be 33) it'll be my turn to focus on my career, for now I'm thankful I get to spend this time with my kids. Even if they're driving me nuts today.

@Navy_Mommy: Story of my childhood, my mom worked odd jobs based on where we lived until my dad retired. My dad was Navy pilot.

@BandDmommy: my husband is an aviation mechanic in the Navy. It's not the life I ever imagined for myself, honestly, but it's pretty awesome, lol.

He'll be on shore duty starting this fall and my whole family is like, "does that mean you'll go back to work since he won't deploy for the next few years?" And I just laugh, not deploying doesn't mean not leaving. He'll still be gone all the time, just not for more than three months at once.

@Adira: Exactly what I was going to say! I've never known an engineer to take more than a six month break and have it not negatively impact their career.

Any amount because staying home is NOT for me. I'd lose my ever loving mind.

ETA: I did specifically move to a province that subsidizes daycare heavily; so I kinda feel my response is kind of skewed anyway.

Some of these take home after childcare salaries are more than I made in a month, before childcare! Incomes are really low where I live.

I would have made about $200 a month after childcare, so I stayed at home. It's not exactly how I wanted things to work out. But my organization was in free fall, a raise wasn't an option and I was miserable. It was a wonderful job though. So I get kind of annoyed when people tell me how lucky I am that I can stay at home. Yes, if my husband made significantly less I would have kept working, but the kids would have gone to substandard unaccredited daycare. Is that really what we call "luck"??

I feel like I can "make up" that $200 in other ways since I SAH. I don't need as many clothes, I can cook every night so we don't have takeout, less driving, etc.

I work PT for my sanity and what I make covers childcare and my contribution to my 401k. Some days I really question if it's worth it but I really do like my job, so that helps.

as long as we broke even on the cost of one of our salaries it's worth it. because:
*the cost of daycare allows your partner to work as well.*
*retirement savings and benefits*
*possible healthcare benefits - for us to go on my husband's insurance would cost $12k/year. Mine? less than 1/3 of that and with better benefits*
*other perks like free lunches, cell phone service, etc.*
*maintaining a career in case the worst happens. My former boss's husband passed away unexpectedly at a young age. She is so thankful that she worked throughout her daughter's childhoods -- one of the widows in her support group quit working and was subsequently in a really bad place.*
*other, "priceless" benefits, like showing my kids that women can work and be a good mom; having disposable income for vacations and extras, etc.*

@dagret: for me, another strong motivation is what would happen if my husband died. I had two friends in high school with SAHMs where the dad died, and in each case the moms ended up working retail jobs for minimum wage, downsizing, struggling, etc.

The other thing that I think about is, even if forego a modest amount now to SAH, I am also foregoing my wage in 5 years and 10 years and 15 years, which is a considerably greater sum.

@BandDmommy: what i meant was, and it's difficult to articulate online, is that no one *ever* questions if a working dad is a "good dad." because if he spends any time with the kids, well he should practically get a medal. I don't think my kids will love me any more or any less because I work, or any more or any less depending on the amount I bring home - what I was aiming for and articulated incorrectly is that for *ME* being a good mom includes working outside the home. It wasn't meant to be a judgement call on anyone's decisions.

@dagret: totally agree with this point you made *the cost of daycare allows your partner to work as well.* in one of the recent articles about Anne-Marie Slaughter and her husband's work-life balance, they brought this up - basically, that childcare is a household responsibility and that the woman's role shouldn't be solely to provide childcare herself or to finance it if she chooses to work.