Hellobee Boards

Once a month and/or special occasions.

I voted every other week on the premise of each party doing the drive once a month. But I think it also depends if the grandparents are still working. In that case I think once a month would be totally reasonable. We live in the same city as both sides of grandparents and my retired MIL sees our son usually once a week, while my working parents see him once a week, some times every other if we're all really busy.

I voted once a month, but not sure if our version of once a month is the same! My ILs live two hours away and expect us to spend the night if we visit them. We don't have a guest room so they generally arrive at our house by lunch time and go home that same evening. We try to go up every other month and spend the night. Sometimes that coincides with a birthday or long weekend. They are semi-retired but babysit SIL's kids full time. This means they are really only available to drive to visit us on Sundays. They probably come every month or so. We sometimes meet in a halfway point for dinner etc., but it's usually on us to organize it. I feel like they want us to come over more often, but we also want time on the weekends to do errands, chores, yard work, and time as just our little family!

ETA I think my vote of once a month is accurate. I think LO ends up seeing them about once a month. Sometimes more like every 6 weeks.

If you are only doing the driving then maybe once a month. IF you alternate who drives, then maybe once every 2-3 weeks? Assuming it's just day trips, less than a day long visits. I guess my ideal maximum would be once every 3 weeks or so.

My parents and grandparents live an hour and a half away. We make plans to meet up once a month, and take turns with the driving.

If we go, we usually meet up for an early lunch and visit/play for a few hours, and head home around 3:30 and they nap on the way home. If they come over, usually they end up coming for lunch, give us a date night, then head back the next morning. They still work, but own their own business, so they have some flexibility.

We live one hour away from my in-laws, and they expect weekly visits, every Sunday. My MIL reasons that because my mom takes care of DS once a week, she has to see him too. But my mom lives only 15 mins away and MIL forgets that I don't actually get to spend time with my mom on those days so if I want to see her, it has to be on the weekend too but that only happens on special occasions because we're expected at the in-laws every week! Ok, vent over

ETA: for your situation, I would think once a month is enough!

My parents are ~3hrs drive away and because visits require a least a couple of overnights we only see them 4-5 times a year, which is mostly them coming up to visit us.

I would say 6 weeks to every other month, especially if sleeping over.

My in-laws live the same distance away. We try to see one another at least every other month.

I vote Holidays & Birthdays! My in-laws live two hours away, so we see them 4-6 times a year, but we also tend to sleep over when we see them, so it's an extended visit. I think that's plenty.

Every 2-3 weeks assuming you're alternating driving.

Voted once a month, but that's even alot IMO.

@Briony: I think once a month, coinciding with special occasions is reasonable. If they want to see the kids more, can they drive to you? Or meet halfway for lunch/activity or early dinner?

Somewhere between once a month and 6 times a year, assuming you are sharing the driving duties.

My parents live 5 hours away and we see them prob 5 times a year? But nearly always it's me driving to them.

Once a month or every 5 weeks or so. So holidays, birthdays and some times inbetween.

We live 25 minutes from all everyone and I refuse to commit more than once a month to grandparents. And that's spreading across 3 sets of grandparents. We have things we want/need to as a family. If we committed one weekend a month to each set, we'd never have time as a family. When we lived 2 hours away, we'd plan visits with one set of grandparents each month. However, if we came home for a weekend, we'd try to squeeze all 3 sets into one weekend.

Once a month!

I voted once a month because I think there is a difference between reasonable and optimal for your family.

My parents live 1 hr 45 min away and we go up there for the weekend about once a month (spend Fri and Sat night) but often coincide with holidays. My parents drive here about once a month to see us and my sisters, who both live in the same city as I do, and visits often coincide with birthdays or other kid events. My LO is almost 2 and my older sister has 2.5 yr-old twins.

To contrast with another family - my sister takes her boys to visit my parents every 6 weeks or so and only spends 1 night or makes it a day trip. Her husband often does not go and gets his alone time while she goes there.

We see both families a lot. More than I'd like personally - but LO loves it, and they're all only 20 minutes away. My mom gets kind of jealous since we see the ILs consistently once a week - but she doesn't want to commit to a routine, so sometimes when she calls last minute I have to decline. My ILs also do all of our laundry, which is a huge help.

I'd say probably every 6-8 weeks. Hell, DH's grandparents live 40 min away and we see them probably once a month+special occasions. Our weekends are just never that free, it seems.