This is my daughter's first christmas and she has gotten soooo many gifts today. I'm afraid of her not understanding the values of these gifts in the upcoming years and keeps expecting more and more. What's worse is her birthday is in mid january so she'll be getting tons of gifts back to back. Have any of you ever asked family members to give $$ so we can save for her education down the road? I know people like to see kids open up presents so it's kinda hard to get them to change.
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I told BOTH sets of parents that we just wanted money for the college fund. My daughter is 4 WEEKS old... She doesn't know the difference. Well no one listened and she got a ton of presents. So unfortunately in my limited experience people do what they want to do even of you ask for something specific.
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I have never asked but half of our family gives gifts and the other half gives us money to buy gifts. We deposit the money into LO's savings instead of spending it!
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Short answer: you don't. These are gifts, and you can't tell people what/how to give. The only exception is if they ask.
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@HabesBabe: Agreed.
I totally understand where you're coming from but I really think you could only tell your parents and your husband's parents this, and even that depends on your relationship with them. I wouldn't say anything to more extended family. If you're just getting too much stuff, I think it would be fine to say "no gifts, please" for her birthday in January, but unless someone asks you what you need or what she wants as a gift, I don't think it's a good idea to tell them what to get.
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I don't feel right telling people unless they ask me what lo needs.
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@lollipop: The above posters are right--you don't tell people what to give as gifts. If your parents, or MAYBE someone who you have a really, really close relationship with, asks, it would be okay to suggest a college fund contribution (perhaps coupled with a personal letter to your LO that you could put in a scrapbook for her, so it isn't just "here's the dough!"). But even then, I would suggest something like a 529 plan or a trust. I'm not a huge fan of 529s as gifts because the "giver" can change the beneficiary, but in the case of a grandparent, I suppose that risk is low.
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Like pp have said; I dont think there is a polite way to ask for college fund money, which sucks because like you, I would rather LO get fewer toys to open but have a larger college fund down the road. I think if close family asks what LO wants/needs it wouldnt be terrible to say something like "LO loves X toy/book, and LO could always use more size X clothes; but we've also started a college fund if you would rather give for that. Totally up to you guys!" and leave it open. I would only feel comfortable saying this to very close family. I wish there was a better way to go about it, though.
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Another idea that isn't very polite but I would totally do it..... This will only work when your lo is little but you can always return gifts if they come with a gift receipt. If the gift giver rarely sees your lo at home playing anyway, they'd never know. Sounds bad and before lo I would think it was horrible, but now she just has so many toys that she doesn't even play with!
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I think if they say, "hey what does LO want or need" then you could say, "we were thinking any donation to her education fund would be very helpful!" I wouldn't be able up just tell someone but if they ask it may be easier.
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I dont think its poltie to ask for money. You dont have to let her play with all the toys and gifts at once, you can hide some of them for later or get take them back to the store for store credit and buy something else for her.
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@Mrsbells: I really like this idea! If you're worried about her getting too many gifts at once, I think spreading them out is a great idea!
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Thanks everyone! I do agree with all of the above and re:not asking for $$. All of those thoughts have occurred to me but just thought i'd throw it out there and see if any of you have had success with tackling this issue. I will def. be hiding all the gifts and giving her one at a time to play. Will even hide a few for her to donate to toy mountain next xmas.
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We asked mil for $ for an ESA and instead she got us a bunch of junk toys. So, they are all going back and we'll take the money and put it in an ESA ourselves.
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I think one of the main issues with cash gifts (other than the obvious pitfalls of asking for something specific for a gift) is that people can go to Walmart or TJ Maxx or shop the sales and get a gift that looks more substantial that what they paid for it. Many people wouldn't be comfortable giving the equivalent in cash. Like, here is 22 bucks for your kid's college fund, ya know? Also, people like to see kids open up gifts. I think it's just one of those things you have to get used to.
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