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@shopaholic: i WISH my kids liked the soothie. we did everything we could to get them into it. i think i tried 5 different brands of paci's with noelle - no dice. she wanted the real deal. she did eventually find her hands though!

I was very anti paci but gave in finally bc my nipples were so sore and cracked from the constant comfort sucking. My LO was never a huge fan of the paci but it def soothed her when she needed to sleep. I was really worried about weaning her off it but she just quit wanting it one day when she was around 11.5 months old and naturally weAned herself. So if you have to use one, hopefully your LO will wean herself once she learns how to self soothe

We only used one at dinner or when we were out and about. He used it in the early days (when I needed a break the most), but never really took to needing it, so after a few months we just sort of forgot about it. You can choose when you use it, it isn't an all or nothing situation.

As a little bit of a different perspective, I'm very pro-paci. I sucked my two middle fingers growing up because my mom didn't want to give me a paci. I had a very difficult time breaking the finger sucking habit because I always had them with me. I sucked my fingers to go to sleep until I was school-aged (maybe 5 or 6?) and only stopped with a lot of training & bribery from my mom. I made sure to give Sadie the paci, so that we didn't deal with this... you can always take a paci away!

Every child reacts to them differently, so maybe you could just try and see how K reacts? Sadie doesn't need (or usually want) it to be soothed or to fall asleep, but I noticed that it helps her in the in between stage of sleep. When I've already put her to sleep, but she's only lightly out, sucking her paci helps get her all the way out faster.

If you're adamantly against the paci, there's not much you can do about the car. S likes the car, but if she's ever fussy in her seat we just turn her seahorse on and it calms her.- you could try bringing K's in the car & turning it on before you leave. At home I think her sucking your finger is fine, and loud shushing/white noise, walking, and bouncing/jiggling are helpful.

We were not anti paci in a militant way, just more wishy washy about it. LO didn't get one until eight weeks. I'm happy now that she uses it because the comfort nursing was out of control and she was using it as a sleep crutch. Now after I know she's done eating I put her down and if it looks like she needs a nudge I pop a paci in. She literally sucks four times, falls deeply asleep, then pops it out. I'm not worried about long term use cause its only in her mouth for like twenty seconds.

We did the finger trick for the first few weeks because my LO wouldn't take a paci. We actually really wanted him to take a paci because he had such a strong need to suck and he was a fussy baby. He finally started taking a paci at 8-ish weeks and I was ecstatic!! He did become a paci addict for awhile (which I was a little embarrassed about) but around 8.5 months we stopped giving it to him aside from naps. At 9.5 months we stopped giving it to him for naps. Now he has absolutely no attachment to pacis and the weaning involved no crying whatsoever.

So all of that was to say that giving a paci in infancy =/= a toddler walking and talking with a paci in their mouth. I think after a certain age (maybe 12-18 months?) it becomes more of an issue of behaviour/discipline issue than an actual physical need to suck for comfort.

I let DS use me as a pacifier. Nursing is much more than feeding. Non-nutritive sucking is good for both of you.

We gave our LO a paci from the beginning, and it worked really well for us - we only really gave it when necessary (if he was super fussy, or needed help napping, or was in the carseat), and it would calm him down and keep him calm. Now at 5 months, and probably starting around 4 months or so, he self-soothes with his fingers or primarily his thumb, and when we give him a pacifier he treats it like it's another toy - he'll pull it out, look at it, suck on the handle, pull it out, etc. So it only works now in the sense of being a distraction or a toy!

We are also very conscious of not wanting our LO to use a pacifier as a toddler, but I understand there are ways to wean off the pacifier without too much trouble if they're still using one at that point (at this rate it doesn't seem like our LO will be).

@shopaholic: I would try different types, and just keep trying--what they don't like one day they may love the next.

As for the hand/thumb vs paci debate, I honestly don't think either is that big a deal...the way i think of it, I'll deal with getting rid of the paci when the time comes. Right now, it's great at helping him fall asleep or calm him down, and I'm certainly not going to deny myself a great tool in my parenting toolbox! He's not going to be going to kindergarten with a paci in his mouth And if he DOES suck his thumb, then we'll deal with that when the time comes as well. I don't know any adults who suck their thumbs! Try not to stress too much, or to think too much about "what if..." in the future. Things will change a million times between now and then!

@shopaholic: if you are open to the paci, my kids liked the MAM pacis only. They make one for the tiny babies, it's called the nano. It's much lighter than a soothie and easier to keep in. Your LO is still really small, so hopefully in the next few weeks things will improve!

i caved and gave my lo a paci for times when i really need to use the restroom while he was comfort nursing but i didn't want to wake him, or if i needed a minute to myself so dh could watch him. he took it happily for a couple of months, but now he acts offended if we offer it to him. we still keep it around because he likes to chew on it, and because it's a 'moustachifier' and i can't bring myself to get rid of it. he is 8 months old.

for the most part though, in terms of getting things done around the house, i would just strap him in the ergobaby and go to town. he was able to nurse to his heart's content, and i was able to take care of all my grownup duties. win/win. now he only comfort nurses on his way to sleep, or if he's uncomfortable. so, it did get easier!

i was never anti paci but i did wait about 8 weeks because i was taught that in my BF course at the hospital that it was better to wait. then i was amazed how much how he loved it! I think we became too dependent on it for a while, so now during the day, i am making an effort to not give it so much unless he really seems to need it. and i am getting DH on board. we still use it at night to put him to sleep and when he wakes during the night. though it falls out a minute or two after he is actually asleep. not sure when we are going to wean it off either. still thinking/reading about it. he is almost 5m.

as for other ways to soothe.....i think you've answered your question! there is the boob, his hands, your fingers....i don't think there is much else...babies like to suck!! L will put anything and everything in his mouth that fits, i actually find it amusing at times how hard he tries to get things in his mouth.