Hellobee Boards

Yeah, that's weird. As a SAHM, I live for times where we can go out and do things. Right now it's easy, with just a first grader, but when LO comes, I'll be towing him around everywhere. Being stuck at home stinks, lol.

For kids events, yeah, that's weird. But everyone is different. We were never strict about schedules, so it was never a problem but I've had friends decline J's birthday party invites because of schedules.

For other outings, I can sometimes understand. When J was first learning to walk it was really hard to take him anywhere, but especially someone else's house. I could never relax because I was worried he'd fall or touch things he wasn't supposed to. It was so stressful, I had to decline invites.

If an event falls within nap or bedtime, I will either decline completely, ask if I can arrive late, or go alone without the kids. DD1's sleep is so important to me that I'm willing to sacrifice socializing for it.

I'm with ya. But that's easy for me to say, I have a chill baby who loves to see people and do things. But i also have the mentality that I refuse to let having children make me a house-ridden hermit.

I'm with ya! But I'm definitely not a schedule person.

@mrsjyw: I'm right there with you! If the outing is baby friendly, then I pack up DS and off we go. If not, I have no problem leaving him with DH for a little girl time. It is a little harder to find someone to watch him for when DH and I go out alone or with a group, but we can usually find a way to make it work. Now that we don't go out as much as we used to, I really appreciate the times we get to leave the house and it makes me look forward to going home and spending time for LO once the night is done.

It sounds nuts when it's put that way but if something is going to be very inconvenient I say no. LO is relaxed and loves people but sometimes the timing of an event will make it so I know she'll be tired and cranky for me later. If it's a bff or something I really want to do then I will but I'm a lot less likely to do things now than I was pre-LO.

I have a 4 month old and so far that excuse has been true many times for us. We missed a really awesome party because he was only 2 weeks old and we didn't have any family nearby to watch him and also didn't even know any babysitters. And I missed my friends birthday party (in another state, we would have had to stay over) because I felt like it was too much to do all that traveling right before the holidays.

Now that we have our nanny though, there are very few things I would decline as long as she is available to watch him. And if we can bring him that's even better. But I think having a baby will always make things a little harder and we will be more likely to turn invitations down than we were pre-baby.

Go anywhere during nap time. they have to ALWAYS be home during nap time. Just a few friends though, luckily most are pretty easy going about it.

Chloe is my side kick and she goes everywhere with me. I've never turned something down unless it interferes with her nap/bedtime or if she was sick.

I enjoy my social time!

You don't know what kind of baby she has. My baby eats every hour and always has. In the mornings it is nothing but poopy blowouts. Then the rest of the days she is fussy. During changes she rolls and twists and kicks. I couldn't attend the party. It would be very stressful and everyone would see my breasts and dh and I go anywhere with lo together. I could maybe manage to stop by with lo and dh... but even if I planned it out she might fall asleep in the car... and we might spend the party in the car... we go nowhere in the morning during nap and poop time. She needs to be in the car or being held to nap... you just don't know what other people are going through.
We get out of the house with lo almost every day but it is the being on time part (if something is at a set time or schedule) that is very difficult. My ped office expects people with babies to be late so I know this is common!

Pre-baby I was one of those people that never understood why anyone would make plans around a baby's sleep schedule. Now I totally get it. There are babies that are chill, go with the flow, and don't need a schedule. Then there are babies that thrive on a routine and will only nap in their crib. My LO is probably closer to the latter, though she will nap in the car or sometimes in the stroller if we're out of the house for a long time.

I have a relatively easy going baby and there have been times where we've been out and I've thought to myself, "ugh, I wish we would've just stayed home." A few weeks ago we went to visit a friend of mine and she had a complete meltdown for no apparent reason--wouldn't latch on when I tried to nurse her and nothing calmed her down. We had to leave early and I was embarrassed. So I try not to hold that sorta stuff against people.

It depends. I feel like it's harder to take LO out and about to certain places now that she's an active toddler who has her own ideas of what's fun & what isn't and will definitely let you know. Plus, we rely on public transportation to get around. If it's something where I'll have to have a long train ride, I would decline because I know there will be tantrums and it just won't be fun for the both of us. Sometimes it's not worth the headache to me.

I usually never turn anything down. Unless it involves hanging out with single people who enjoy getting waaasted. It's not my scene anymore, clearly, since becoming a parent (and even before then I was too focused on school and work).

Also, restaurants can be hard with DD now. I'm pretty laid back about naps recently since DD has started to nap in the car and stroller.

@blackbird: I'm with you. We've made it a policy to go out to everything we're invited to when we're in town, because we've had too many friends become hermits. Yes, sometimes that means we go by ourselves, but that's OK- to us, it's improtant to not let our children define us. I took DD to a baby shower when she was 12 days old., and both of them out quite a bit. DS was incredibly fussy, and I spent many a party in a back bedroom nursing. To me, it was worth it just to feel like I could get out and DO something.

I go to whatever as long as DD is invited because I don't have family nearby to watch her and I don't want to pay $100 for a sitter more often than I need to. I might on occasion arrive late or leave early to get her a decent nap, but I almost always go to stuff. From day 1, I nursed DD in restaurants all the time under my cover.

Now that she is 18 months old, it is much harder but she is usually entertained easily by some peas and a fork:)

Like @blackbird: I have a mellow, agreeable baby who enjoys social interaction. Our sleep and feeding schedule is pretty general, and flexible to suit DD. Of course, there are events and activities that don't make sense, logistically, when you throw an infant into the mix. But, for the most part, I accept invites whenever I can.

Really, I think it is just dependent on what your baby can handle. Some people enforce more rigid schedules, and deal with fussier personalities, so who am I to judge?

if a friend said it like that, i would probably think SHE was ridiculous, but i don't think it's ridiculous to turn down invites because of your kid, or because you just don't want to go! DD is pretty easy going and we've have numerous friends comment that they are impressed that we take her so many places, but honestly, i would go stark raving mad if i was cooped up all the time! i turn down park dates if it's in the middle of her nap time, but we adjust sleep to be able to attend other events as we don't have family in the area and our friends and neighbors are who we rely on to babysit in a pinch. otherwise, she comes with us!

i realize not everyone had the same view though, so different strokes for different folks!

I agree with you. It's important for us to go out as a couple or with friends and if someone's available to watch M, then we're free to do so. I don't use her as an excuse but I also don't bring her to places I know wouldn't be appropriate for her. We need to spend time as a family, as a couple and time with friends. We've joked that we've probably gone out more since having M but we always keep a good balance with all facets.

We will pretty much do anything during the day, but evening commitments are absolutely out unless we get a sitter. LO turns into a total hellraiser when she's tired and while we can usually get her to nap out and about either in her stroller or carseat, throwing off bedtime is a big fat NO. And she goes to bed at 7pm. So I've been super lame the last 7 months. I am also still totally exhausted from a baby who won't STTN so haven't wanted to be out late regardless.