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I think it depends on the baby. I really couldn't do anything with my child (even go to Target!) until she was over 4 months old. She just cried the whole time. Also sometimes I just don't want to do something, so I use it as an excuse, hah!
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@meganmp: but for me it is the most challenging thing. It is worth it, but very challenging! It is getting better but the first six months ... the only place I went on schedule were the doctor and a haircut! (6.5 mo....)
My friend is getting married several states away and she doesn't have kids (and obv. it is different than attending a party) and I was honest that we couldn't attend (for various reasons) but I remember she was like "why don't you ride in the back of someone's car?" and I'm thinking "whaaaat?"
I value keeping lo as happy as possible because that keeps me sane so I work hard to stay ahead of the moment. We have no one to watch her and she needs me to eat... I nannied a chill baby once... just like every pet is different. .. when my pup was little we would hike with another puppy who was so chill and would just stay with us offleash. My pup was chasing deer and elk through the mountains and jumping out windows! Night and day.
It kicks my butt to be on time. I was on time for a haircut this week and it took dh and I both and a day of running around the house to get the three of us there and I was so stressed!
I value keeping things chill for our own sanity and scheduled events don't fit into that!
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@LazyLightning: us too!
(re: target) I saw a baby sleeping in her carseat at target the other day... that was sooo not my child!
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Same as JoJo, R's bedtime is 7 and when she is tired, she lets everyone know it. Not worth trying to keep her up at all.
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@Greentea: LOL! I went to Ruby Tuesday with a friend for lunch and there was a baby just sitting, awake, in a car seat while the parents ate. YEAH RIGHT??!!
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I like to take A with me whenever I can, and I don't decline purely because of nap time, but I do turn down evening events (unless I can bring her and be home by, say, 9). We don't have family to watch her here, maybe if I lived back in the UK near my family and college buddies I'd feel differently? But since I'm the only one who can put her down I'd probably still turn down evening stuff.
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I take DD everywhere and rarely decline invites, unless its nap time because I'm pregnant and need to nap too lol
I think its the best thing I've done for myself as a SAHM and I think DD has done well adapting. But, I follow the whole "she is in my life not she runs my life" mentality. We do several things each day that are geared towards her so if I want to meet a friend at the mall or stay out past her bedtime at a friends I do. Luckily, most of my mom friends feel the same so we meet up often and the friends who plan everything around their kids, we never see anymore.
To each their own
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@LazyLightning: @Greentea: my son has never in his life been content in a not moving car seat for more than about 20 seconds and he sat through an entire meal out in his carseat on Sunday I was shocked, like who is this child
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I also think it completely depends on the baby. My LO becomes super fussy if his nap gets pushed to much and he will not nap on the go. We can't transition him from car seat to crib so there is no way we could stay out through bed time. I WISH I could just go do things all the time. I know Some friends of ours are totally thinking hubby and I are just rookies, but if you haven't had a high- need fussy baby, it's hard to understand.
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@luckypenny: You and I have similar thoughts on this. LO to be is going to have to adapt, because he's got a 6 year old brother and I don't like to be tied to the house. DS and I are always out and about, especially in the summer, so we don't plan on changing that...just bringing LO along with us!
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I don't go anywhere if it's during nap time or close to bedtime. I'm very strict about her sleep - it's j not worth her being miserable.
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We have avoided sporting events, I just don't think LO would be very interested. And since it would be more for us, I'm not sure that we would enjoy ourselves much or get our $ worth.
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I wanted to be one of those moms that just takes their LO everywhere, but I have a fussy baby that needs to stay on her routine. If you want a screaming baby & nerve wracked mom, sure I'll come.
Thankfully our friends are very understanding when we have to decline.
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Idk, 5 months is still little. Dd was JUST coming out of the fussy nb thing at 4 months so we still revolved around her schedule then too, but we would try for car naps or to just stop by when she was up kind of thing... Once she got on one nap we got much more relaxed but I can still relate to that especially if her baby is difficult with naps and/or on the fussier side! I think we forget so quickly once our LOs get to be about a year and lots if things change. I do, however, think she was rude in the way she said it!
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@luckypenny: if you do that what happens? I ask because I planned to do like you, but a lot of times if I deviate from the bedtime schedule (not naps so much but it used to be naps too!) dd would wake up for hours in the motn! Didn't matter how often or how familiar a place... I just wonder if people who say that just stay up all night or what...
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@googly-eyes: well, when she was your LOs age I didn't really much because I was so scared to mess with her sleep. Then I started going crazy when she was around 8 months old and I had to get out. It's never bothered her night sleep if she's up past "bedtime". I also only stay an hour or two past. We're not up at midnight or anything
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*sigh* I would give anything for a baby who 'just has to adapt'. Like others have said, folks would rather me not show up to social invites at all if it's a screaming baby as the only option
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@JoJoGirl: This.
I have to decline sometimes because everyone would be miserable if I came. I have a textbook Dr Sears high needs/high maintenance baby that turns into a hell raising banshee if he skips a nap or bedtime. No thank you.When our sleep gets better, my social life will too lol! It's just hard right now.
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I also wanted to add my son woke up very early for about a year, we are talking 5 am. So I had to front load on sleep so I could manage at that hour. When friends and family gave me a hard time about it, I asked them if they would like to come over and handle the wake up and they all said no, lol.
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@looch: Word.
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@looch: amen to that. I actually have a pretty easy going baby as far as crying, so for the first 3.5 months of her life I was out of the house every single day shopping, running errands, going to BF support groups, new mom groups, play dates, lunch dates. She was fine.
And then she started this horrible "no naps" stage, which is not healthy at all for a 3-4 month old. She started waking up 6-8 times a night and sometimes more. I read a lot about brain development and sleep that really knocked some sense into me.
That's when I buckled down and got her on a nap schedule, and I stopped jacking around with her sleep. Miraculously (or rather, not a miracle at all but common sense), she started being a rock star napper and her night time wakeups reduced back to 2-3.
So I agree, every baby is different. My baby needs a good routine to sleep and I've figured that out now and am not willing to mess it up very often. I have friends that fall into 3 camps basically: the ones with an easy going baby they can take anywhere, the ones with a higher needs baby who have figured out a good routine and stick to it, and the ones with a higher needs baby who still take them out and about and have no schedule. The last group seems pretty bewildered as to why their babies are cranky, don't nap, and don't go to sleep easily at night. I just keep my mouth shut but at some point, they will probably figure out that their kids aren't getting restful naps or night time sleep when they have no routine and they'll have to adjust their lives accordingly or deal with a cranky screamy baby.
Again, you just have to trust that parents know their kids better than you, a casual observer who sees them occasionally--and they've figured out what works best for them and their kid.
(re: target) I saw a baby sleeping in her carseat at target the other day... that was sooo not my child!
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