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@Ambular1025: what?? I can't understand the logic behind what your friend said and I can't believe that she said that to you even if she believes it, that is really insensitive and extremely rude.
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I don't think your friend is mocking you, but considering the place she is coming from, she's just trying to get you to not get too worked up yet. Because if you are worked up and frustrated after 1 month, she's probably imagining what will happen if it takes 6 months or 8 months or whatever. Probably not phrased the best way--but then again, aren't most of us brutally honest and straight forward with our friends?--but I wouldn't be offended by her.
She's coming from a very, very different place. And as someone who has had numerous miscarriages, I often think that people should just chill a little because you never know what kind of road you're in for
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@Chibee: My friend said this to me after 3 cycles of trying, and it was pretty hurtful. She has been charting for years as a way not to get pregnant, so I know that what she said wasn't meant to be mean, but more as a way of if I had more experience with charting and knowing my body maybe I'd be pregnant. But in all honesty, she's never tried to get pregnant, nor saw a BFN, and it's not just as simple as chart and get pregnant (as many of us know). I also have a husband much older than me (51) with diabetes, so it's not just me to consider. There are two playing this game and I can do everything right and still not get pregnant. I explained this to her and she felt bad but I still don't think she gets it. She won't, until she's walked in my shoes, but I honestly hope she doesn't have to. I now take her suggestions (crazy things like lunaception) as her trying to help, even though they may come off the wrong way initially.
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@Blackbird: You're very right. She's my closest friend in the whole world, I know her comments were coming from a place of love - they wouldn't be from anywhere else - and I know she just doesn't want me to stress. I'm totally over it now (I've got over myself!!) .... but last night, when I was already upset with DH and I wanted to moan to my besite about the lack of BDing, I wanted her to say "OMG, what is WRONG with him? Jump on him right now! Go girl! Catch that egg! Text me when you're done!" I didn't want to be told "calm down, you've only been trying a month, it's going to take much longer than that to conceive and, wow, is it such a big deal if it doesn't happen soon?"
I agree we're coming from different places. It's a shame in a way because it means I can't share the excitement of TTC with her because she's firmly rooted in reality. We share EVERYTHING! Oh well, i'm sure I'll hit the reality of TTC with a bump soon....
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Hey, sometimes all we want to do is vent, I totally get that
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@Ali: @chibee: AF arrived...
Had my cry. bring on October.
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I have a box of tissues, a glass of wine, some Brie and watching what to expect when expecting. That's how I'm gonna deal with it.
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@Hanzabelle: ugh... sorry that AF came for you. I had a pretty good cry too that day, it was more like a sob fest on the kitchen floor with my puppies staring at me. October here we come. Anything you might do differently? For me, better timed BD, and I've started to chart. It makes me feel better, changing things up - how about you?
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@Hanzabelle: Ahhhhh, I'm so sorry, lovely!!! I had really high hopes for a late BFP for you.
You go girl, drink wine and eat brie 'til you can't face another bite. Then embrace the mystic power of the period because it's that which makes you fertile and means your body can grow a baby. Out with the old and in with the new. This isn't the end, this is the start of a new cycle, CD1, and this is going to be your month!! Hugs xxx
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@Hanzabelle: Sad that we were both looking for late BFP's and ended up with BFN's...but once you get over the crying period (I'm sure we all have it..I certainly did) you get excited for trying again. I know I am. Here's to hoping for a sticky baby this time!
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@Ali: @ambular1025: @chibee: ok so I have finished my selfish moping mood now and am feeling upbeat again... maybe its because i made a baby purchase (oops...lol) This month we are gonna BD like rabbits lol..
@Ali: How you feeling hun? How many DPO are you? Feeling good? I'll say try and wait to POAS..but you know how much I listened!!!!I just wanted to say to you all, I am so grateful for all your support - we may be strangers but I really needed you all! xo
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@Hanzabelle: Same. I've really depended on the support I've had here - from you guys. Thanks everyone.
I'm 3DPO and I'm a really, really grumpy madam today. It's just so tough that there's nothing I can do to help it all along - I just have to wait! I'm convinced this isn't my month - and of course it's not, it's only my first try - but that just makes me irritated that I have to wait for AF and then wait to O again!! ARGH!!!!! I hate waiting!!!!!
Plus, DH is doing some building work downstairs - and we still haven't finished decorating the stairs and landing yet, so my entire house is a building site!!!! There's dust and nails everywhere! I'm sick of tripping over tools and finding half drunk cups of tea secreted in corners! And I'm sick of hearing "babe, where have a put X, Y Z?". Sigh. This does not help my mood!!!
Meh. The TWW is torturous.
Glad you're feeling better @Hanzabelle. Get tracking and BDing!!
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@Ali: oh building sites aren't fun...although when you said half cups of tea..kept thinking about you peeing in cups and I hope you haven't left them anywhere...lol Don't want DH to mistake it for tea! ahahaha
The TWW IS torteous, but even if it isn't your month...remember your own mantra "everyday is one day closer to meeting your child" This seriously helps me. (although it doesn't keep me off ebay....eeek)
AND if it does make you feel better, I feel like a learnt alot from that first month. I feel more real about things. ( maybe ask me that again when I'm back in the TWW again...)
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@Ali: Anything excited planning for the weekend?
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@Hanzabelle: Erm, no not really - more building work!! I think a friend of ours is having a BBQ Saturday night so we might go to that. Oh and I'm seeing a friend on Sunday - she has three seriously rowdy kids so that might make the TWW seem too short! Haha! How about you?
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@Ali: looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow!!!! DH has been on nights and I've been away for work so really looking forward to lazing around sat morning in bed together! Heaven!
Sunday I have 2 photoshoots so I'm looking forward to that too! and then cleaning and cooking...just the normal things.
haha rowdy kids seem scarey.. but then you say "mine will be different!" lol with out that lie we probably wouldn't reproduce!! -
@Hanzabelle: "maybe its because i made a baby purchase (oops...lol)"
Oh, please tell me I'm not the only one who has done this! Once I signed up for Zulily it was GAME OVER...I can't resist a good deal T_T. So far I have some BumGenius 4.0 (7 for 5! Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned to the hubs that I want to cloth diaper *whistles innocently*), a small travel sanitizer (my husband is a germaphobe, so I think this may be a cute way to announce when/if we're finally pregnant?), and a nursing cover. #random
Oh yeah, and we pulled out the carpets and replaced them with laminate and painted in the "guest" bedroom this weekend. Is it possible to nest before you're even pregnant? :<
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@StrawberryBee: hahha i'm glad not alone... i don't feel bad about buying stuff anymore because hey..i can either sell it or gift it if we don't use it so why not..i love bargains!!! lol
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@Hanzabelle: That's what I tell myself too, but not gonna lie and say there won't be many tears shed if I end up having to sell it! It's something that I've accepted, though. I think.
I like to plan big purchases out over many months rather than be forced to buy things all at once (I know there's the shower, but I don't have a huge mass of friends, so...). It's financially responsible! ....yeah
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@Strawberrybee: I haven't bought anything yet but I totally agree about the nesting! We've got a tiny three bedroom house. Our back spare bedroom is a dressing room, with a huge wardrobe taking up an entire wall, shoe storage etc and our front spare bedroom is my office. Anyway, last week, I "randomly" announced that I wanted to merge my office and the dressing room "because looking out of the front window onto the street was distracting me from work". I've already started painting in there!! I truth, it was because I want to free up the front bedroom for the future nursery (and get wallpaper stripping in there! Lol!!).
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@Ali: Haha, I think my husband saw right through it. But he was good about it and didn't call me on it. I painted the walls a pretty, light aqua color, which I figure would work for either gender (plus it's my favorite color). If a girl it'll get punched up with pinks and corals. If a boy maybe green or orange. Even though I used zero-VOC paint I was the teensiest-tiniest bit relieved that I turned out not to be pregnant this month, because I had to paint with the window closed.
So now I'm charting for the first time and also using OPKs for the first time. September will be OUR MONTH! It makes me feel better to be doing something different (this will be our third cycle of trying, so not so bad).
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@Ali: you're only 3DPO so don't lose hope. But I know the feeling, as soon as my TWW started I knew it wasn't going to be my month. But you never know, I hear so many stories of women who were convinced that they weren't pregnant then voila, BFP!
I am now at CD6 and AF is STILL here. Usually it's gone by day 4 but ugh! what is going on w/my body??
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@Strawberrybee: I totally agree. We just bought an antique dresser to use in our future baby's room last weekend. It helps me feel like I'm closer to being a mom and helps us spread out the purchases over time, so I'm all for it.
Oh and I'm CD6 and my ovulation monitor gave me a high today! So weird...but it means that maybe we should all think of every day prior to the TWW a baby making opportunity. So glad we BD'd last night.
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Note to self: actually start *using* OPK's! I'm CD07 today. Unfortunately with our schedules it's really hard to find time to BD, and I really wish I could use first pee of the morning for the OPK tests. Figuring out the logistics of bringing it to work (which is awkward) is going to be such a chore :/. Can I just do it end of the day instead? (like at 6pm, when I get home?)
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@StrawberryBee: Yes
they say optimal time is between 12pm and 8pm.
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@JoJoGirl: Awesome, thank you! Gonna pee on something in about two hours
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@Ambular1025: how do those monitors work exactly?? and I'm CD6 today too!
@StrawberryBee: I did read that your body doesn't make LH until later in the day so during the afternoon is the best time to test. What I would do with the OPK at work is, take a small makeup bag with you to the bathroom. In it, have a dixie cup and your strip. Pee in the dixie cup in the stall, dip the stick, throw the pee in the toilet, throw the dixie cup in the garbage in the stall (most stalls have them right? For tampons and such) loosely (very loosely as to not absorb the urine from the dipped stick) wrap the stick with toilet paper and put it in your little makeup bag, walk back to your desk and wait for the lines to appear! I have access to a private bathroom here so it's not a big deal for me but that is exactly what i would do in a stall type situation, and you have a desk job.
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@chibee: The monitors measure your estrogen surge in addition to LH surge, so can give you a couple more days of notice of impending O than an OPK. You use FMU with it and it gives you a "low" "medium" and "peak" fertility reading each day.
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@chibee: Thanks! It's definitely doable, just a little awkward. Thankfully I have an office with a door. There's no trash in our stalls but a main one out by the paper towels.
negative for OPK today, which is really as it should be. Crossed fingers for next week!
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Ok ladies Im officially waiting to O... Sigh welcome to attempt 2... I hope those in the tWW have some luck!!! Just to pass the time... Five things you can't wait for(baby related)
1. See that BFP (obviously)
2. See DH hold our baby for the first time
3. Photograph baby ( I'm a pro photographer this poor baby doesn't know what it's in for!)
4. Watch baby sleep
5. Hear baby laugh for the first time.I know our time will come soon! Hurry up BFP!!
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@Hanzabelle: Hi! Nice to see you feeling all positive again! I'm literally praying for your BFP this month!!
This TWW is killing me! I'm 6DPO now and I've had terrible AF symptoms - crying, anxiety, abdominal pain, the works. I'd forgotten how bad PMS was and I'd wiped from my memory completely the fact that I get it full 10 days before AF is due!!! I'm not too worried about it, implantation doesn't happen until day 7-10 so I fully expect my body to carry on as normal until then... but it was a shock after all those years on the pill! lol.
Things I'm looking forward to:
1) Seeing that BFP
2) Telling DH he's going to be a dad
3) Telling my inlaws they're going to be grandparents
4) Being pregnant - feeling baby kicking etc
5) Holding my baby for the first timeI can't wait another week to find out! Wail!!!
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@Ali: oh hun! It IS hard... But the TWW won't last forever... Soon we'll be mummas! And we'll think back on this time and laugh at how crazy we were!! I can't wait to hear your results!!! I'm sending positive baby vibes your way!!!
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@Hanzabelle: waiting to O here too.. but I am looking to a long wait judging by my CD27 O date last cycle, and I am only at CD9 right now.
@Ali: TWW is torture, but it does pass. Who am I kidding, I was counting down the days!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your BFP!!!
I am looking forward to:
1. Finally seeing that BFP and being able to share the news with everyone!
2. Shopping for baby things
3. Watching DH fall in love w/the baby
4. Holding my baby
5. Decorating the nursery! -
quick little tidbit (musing? question? side comment?) - I ordered the Wondfo OPKs for this cycle since I O'd so late and I was testing for so long (I still have the digital to confirm) and yesterday at CD8, the line was kind of dark. Not a positive, but as dark on my Target brand as it had been the day before it had turned positive. I'm hoping it's a brand difference and my body has not completely decided to go bonkers. Do you guys have any experience w/the Wondfo OPKs? They are the "internet cheapies" - bought from amazon.
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@Chibee: Decorating the nursery!! Yes!!!! I cant wait to do that!!! I've already started clearing things out of the room bit by bit!!
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@Chibee: I used our supermarket own brand test strips, which I imagine are quite similar to the "internet cheapies". I was stark white for a few days post AF, then I was showing a negative but still good line for about a week - then it went super-dark (like, way darker than the control) for one day. I'd say just keep testing - but it's probably just your body gearing up to O and it'l be obvious when you actually get the surge!
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5 things I can't wait to do:
1. Sing my baby a song while he/she's in my belly.
2. Decorate the nursery.
3. Give birth...sounds bad, but I'm excited for that experience.
4. Tell my family I'm pregnant.
5. Be the person who knows why he/she cries. -
@chibee: oooh decorating the nursery good one!!!
I also can't wait to cloth diaper... is that weird? hehehe
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@Hanzabelle: I'm curious about cloth diapering - what are the advantages besides saving money/reducing waste? I know my mom used to cloth diaper me but that was the norm back then.
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@chibee: i hope i'm allowed to post this link.. but here is some info.. the environment was my biggest factor and then followed by the chemicals that are in disposables...cost to me was just a bonus... this shows some basic facts but if you do the research you'll find alot more info
Had my cry. bring on October.
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