When did it get better??? Our biggest problem for DS is impulse control. We thought things were improving between 3-3.5 but then he got a baby sister and it made him lose his mind. We’re not doing an amazing job parenting this situation and I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!
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My challenging child is now 5.5 and she’s been doing so much better. Early 5 was still pretty tough- she started a new school right after her bday and the transition was hard. She’s been steadily improving (but I think a lot of that is because of a great teacher for her). And she is NOT without hard moments, but the tantrums and no impulse moments or not the norm anymore. Don’t get me wrong- she had a really bad day today, but she was SO good all week, I could handle the bad day better.
Sorry you are in the thick of it. It’s so hard. I really hope this positive momentum we have now sticks...
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DS2 was born the month before DS1 turned 4. This has been our hardest year of parenting for many reasons. DS1 has definitely been more challenging at 4 than he was at any other age. I will say that although 4 for us has come with lots of big emotions and testing of boundaries sometimes, we are much more settled now at almost 5 than we were when DS2 was brand new!
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@jhd: this is pretty much our exact scenario as well. We are still in the thick of it most days with almost 7mo and almost 4.5yo so this gives me a little hope it will even out! I say we skipped terrible 2 and 3’s...4 has been the hardest by far.
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@muffinsmuffins: yes! Two and three were easy so this was a shock! DS2 turned 1 yesterday and DS1 turns 5 next month. I have to remind DS1 to be gentle and kind a lot now that baby is into all his toys, but it’s so much easier than it was 6 months ago!
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In my (limited) experience the terrible twos is nonsense. 3 and 4 were way worse! I much prefer 5 though. My younger daughter has always been the easy one and now that she’s 3... she’s more of a challenge. But still nothing compared to her sister at that age. I don’t want to brag but a lot of parents have told me they have never seen tantrums like my older daughter threw. 🤷♀️
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4 was our hardest year and it got dramatically better around her 5th bday.
One thing that helped me was to introduce special nights where she got to stay up late with just me and her dad and have popcorn and play games. It didn’t necessarily improve her behavior the rest of the time but I was really struggling with even liking her and she was so sweet and pleasant during those special game nights that it helped me survive.
Also, the How to Talk to Kids books are gold -
@Silva: yes to the special nights! My husband has done this with our son. One night they played PacMan on his phone and he let him have an Oreo as a snack and DS talked about it for days.
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The first 6 months of every age is hard for us. 3-3.5 was not so good. 3.5-4 was better. 4-4.5, not so good. 4.5-5, better. 5-5.5 was rough but once again, at 5.5 it's getting better. I think there's a name for this? Let me google it...
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