166 votes
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@Cherrybee: Yeah, it's like there is a mass shooting every other day here, there was just one yesterday.
I try to remember at some point, my kid is going to be a teenager and I would want someone to help him, not be scared of him if he shows up at their back door drunk, so I am making a point of at least trying to know all the neighborhood kids by face at least.
coconut / 8861 posts
@Anya: My aunt had this situation happen to her. She bought her condo from an elderly grandmother with a troublemaker grandson. Apparently, he would steal money from her at night. Once my aunt moved in. She noticed money missing from her countertop. She changed the locks soon after the incident.
As for the OP, I would call the cops. I would want to do everything I could to protect my personal safety and my family's.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
So scary! I'd tell DH to handle it (and be safe). If he wasn't there for some reason, I'd totally ignore the doorbell and call the cops from my room lol. I wouldn't even be brave enough to go downstairs!
apricot / 343 posts
@snowjewelz: haha, me too! The doorbell this late at night would paralyze me in fear and I would lock myself in a room with the baby and call the cops.
pomelo / 5678 posts
I thought the premise was if I was alone!
I would have DH deal with it. But if it was just me I would grab a phone just in case I had to dial the police. I think your DH did the right thing. I would probably ignore him if I was alone but keep my phone and kind of peek at what was happening, or have my phone but talk to him through the door.
I don't think I would just call the cops!
eggplant / 11824 posts
I just want to add about why I would call the cops – it wouldn’t necessarily be to “protect my family”, but to help protect everyone involved and figure out what’s going on. I live in a smaller city, and the cops are really there to help serve the community, in addition to policing. Calling them wouldn’t mean the kid would be arrested, unless there was a reason for them to be arrested. When I was in high school, our dogs got loose and the cops found them and brought them home in the back of a cruiser (with blue lights flashing lol). I wouldn’t call the cops because I was scared or thought there was necessarily a clear danger to my family – part of their job is to help in situations like this. I wouldn’t want to just ignore anyone of any age who is drunk and stumbling around say, in the middle of winter, when they certainly risk real health issues and safety being outside and not in the right state of mind.
apricot / 443 posts
In the town where my parents live there are lots of break ins where people do this and pretend to be lost or drunk or whatever, but if no one comes to the door or checks it out, they assume no one is home and break in. It happens both during the day and at night. The usual MO is to knock on the front door and then if no one answers they knock on the back door.
So my answer was get a weapon and call the cops.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
I'd maybe talk through the closed door depending on the circumstances and I'd call the cops. But that has a lot to do with where I live (urban area.)
grapefruit / 4418 posts
@SugarplumsMom: 14 is the exact age where drunk kids kill people?! What?!
grapefruit / 4418 posts
@yoursilverlining: isn't being drunk in public and underage a reason to be arrested?
pomegranate / 3375 posts
In our neighborhood (in a city, near a lot of bars), this wouldn't be too crazy to think of -- though, at my back door?? I'd be freaked since we have a fence.
Honestly, my husband would probably grab our shotgun (YOU NEVER KNOW!!), and I'd call the police immediately. Knowing DH, he'd want to see who it was, so he'd at least peek out the window. He'd probably asses the situation as to whether he'd engage with this person.
If it was a drunk teenager, who didn't seem threatening, I'd be sure to relay that information to the police. People have been shot in situations like this, so it's a little scary.
persimmon / 1363 posts
If anyone showed up at my door, and particularly if that person was a teenager, and they were so drunk that they didn't know where they were, I would be extremely concerned for their safety. I would take all steps necessary to ensure that they made it home safely - like look at their phone and call their parents for one. It seems about 10,000x more likely that they are a drunk teen who needs help than they are some sort of politely knocking armed robber.
persimmon / 1316 posts
I would call the police. Even kids these days do crazy things, I wouldn't feel safe.
bananas / 9227 posts
@catomd00: I remember this from a psych class I took ages ago. The teacher commented about how at that age, kids are highly influenced by their peers and want to fit in, but think they're invincible and haven't yet realized the value of life. She relayed it to violence motivated by peers and it apparently stuck with me since it's the first thing I thought of in that instance. Either that or I watch too much TWD!
But I have to add - I only thought he looked 14. DH thinks he could have been 18. The legal drinking age here is 16.
coconut / 8279 posts
@yoursilverlining: I'm in Boston & the police are like this here too. We've had so many college kids go missing, turn up dead in the river/harbor and they were just stumbling around drunk in the wrong place.
nectarine / 2458 posts
I would talk to them through the door. Probably with my dog by my side. If they acted belligerent towards me at all I would call the cops, but odds are I would just try to help them get home.
clementine / 756 posts
I'm from the US and In the situation OP described, I'd open the door but keep the screen closed and talk to the kid. If the kid was yelling or making trouble, I'd call the cops. But a kid that's just drunk and confused? I just tell them to go home.
A couple years ago some random drunk guy knocked on our front door. My husband and I went out to the front porch to talk to him. It was night but we live on a pretty busy street and the porch is in full view of the street. He was bruised and bleeding, so I brought out an ice pack while my husband tried to figure out what had happened. Apparently someone beat him up, he wanted to come inside, but we wouldn't let him. We tried to talk him into letting us take him to the police station, which is just a block away, but he didn't want to. We ended up calling him a cab and giving the cabbie $10 to take him home.
eggplant / 11824 posts
@catomd00: not necessarily- I know when I was in high school plenty of us did stupid stuff and were drunk and had minor interactions with cops were not arrested. Of course some people were, but I don't think it's an automatic arrest if you're drunk and don't know where you and in need of some help but are not being aggressive or an ass.
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