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@Coco Bee: We've talked about it too and feel the same way that you and your husband do...even though it's really hard to think about.

Right now I could not even imagine anyone that I'd want to be with other than my husband. He's the best and a perfect match for me. I've never met anyone else, ever that has come remotely close. I think that I'd have a lot of trouble finding that again and I wouldn't settle for less.

This is my second marriage and I know this is the one. I can't say for sure that I wouldn't but I honestly can not picture anyone else better for me.
I'm also 30 and established.
I wouldn't want him to be alone if I were to pass but the thought of him with someone else isn't a pleasant thought.

This is my biggest fear in life. Sometimes I watch him sleep and I think, "Dear God, please never let anything happen to this man. My heart would not beat anymore."

I truly and honestly think DH is it for me. I am used to being by myself because he works away for weeks at a time. I don't "need" a partner, but he is an extension of me. We are the same person. I just don't believe that anyone else could ever be that for me. He's not just my soul mate, he is my soul. I think I would just try to go on living through our children.

I hold my breath for his phone call after every flight he takes for work (he travels every 3 weeks) and then I hold it again until I get his call that he made it out to the oil rig on the helicopter. Fortunately, he is not in a dangerous job (he is second in command to the Captain and they are responsible for the movement of the rig in the water), but it is the travel back and forth that makes me worry all the time.

And also, I push things out of my brain like the worry that a terrorist attack would be directed at our oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico. After watching this weeks Sept 11th footage, I told DH that in theory - that would be a logical plan of attack for terrorists because it would cripple us far more to not have that oil. Not to mention the disaster in the water, and of course, many lives lost. Even DH, who usually waves off my excessive worries, admitted that it's a possibility that everyone in the oil industry is aware of. All I can do is pray every single day that he comes home safely.

I'm not opposed to remarrying in theory, but I can't imagine finding someone who would measure up at all! DH is so great--like, unbelievably great. So if I found someone who I wouldn't constantly be comparing to DH and fell madly in love then sure, but otherwise I think I would stay single.

This is tough. Before kids, I said no. I have a problem with my pelvic area and sex can be painful, and it's been a lot of trips to the doctors for us. I can't imagine working through that with someone else.

Now with a baby on the way, I would think it'd be so hard to be a single parent. Not that I'd just get married for the sake of it, but I think it's important.

If I died, I would definitely want him to get remarried, as sad as it makes me to think of someone else raising our kid. He says he wouldn't though. Yeah, right - he's too big of a catch!

DH and I have talked about it. I definitely wouldn't remarry. DH says he wouldn't either.
If I didn't have a daughter and son on the way, I probably would remarry. But now that I have kids, I wouldn't.

I think eventually I would remarry. God forbid anything ever happens to DH, I think he wouldn't want me to be lonely. And if I were to die, I'd want him to share the rest of his life with someone....but I would want him to wait a while.
My mom's co-worker died a few years ago and her husband was remarried within the year. That kind of freaked me out.

I have no doubt that I eventually would. There's no point being alone for the rest of my life and I don't believe there is only one person for us. I would, most certainly, want him to move on and find someone else.

@oliviaoblivia: @Coco Bee: I guess it depends on the situation, but my aunt was remarried within about 8 months of my uncle's death. He had been suffering from cancer for years, so by the time he passed, she had already worked through a lot of the grief of losing her husband. I think, in instances of years of disease/illness, it's not unusal to "mourn" the person's death before they actually succumb.

@TurtleDoves: ahh so agreee. Totally makes me sound mental, but I don't want to be here if he isn't either.

We talk about this a lot. Well, I talk about it and Wagon Sr. reluctantly answers my questions. I'm very realistic and Wagon Sr. doesn't like to think about situations like this, but I think it's important for both of us to know each others' wishes in case something happens to one of us (God forbid!).

I'm actually the opposite of some of you-- before having kids, I think my answer would have been no, I wouldn't remarry because I'd have lost the love of my life and he could never be replaced. But now that we have kids, I would want both of us to remarry. I'm a big believer in moving on and if something happened to me, I would want my kids to have a mother figure in their everyday life. Plus I would want the emotional and logistical support for Wagon Sr.

That being said, this is one of my biggest fears. When I can't get in touch with him, I always picture a robber in an ATM vestibule, I don't know why... and Wagon Sr. bleeding out from a gunshot wound... bahhhhhhhh

ETA: We always talk about how we want to die at the same moment, super old and holding hands so we can walk into heaven together holding hands!

@blackbird: Agreed.

I love, LOVE my husband. And it's a downward spiral for me to even think about something happening to him, but I don't think marrying someone else would negate my love for DH. I would want him to remarry too. Especially now that we have LO.

I would!

I love DH to bitts but I get lonley haha, if I was 20-60 I would. If I was 84, no. Similar to @pastemoo

I think both of us would. DH lost his Dad when he was 13, and his Mom just re-married a few years ago. DH and his siblings really wanted their Mom to re-marry and have a partner. I don't believe that there is just one person for every person. I think love is situational and depends on a lot of factors, and that you can have many loves at different times of your life.

If I found someone I loved who loved my girls? Yep. And I wouldn't want him to spend the rest of his life alone if I died. We're only 30!

Not to be cold, but people do fall in love again.

And now I'm sad.

I would probably remarry, and I would want him to remarry. Death is most difficult for those that get left behind, so I would want him to find happiness with someone else.

Yeesh, I don't know. I don't think anyone could ever fulfill me the way my DH does. I've never met anyone else like him. If he were to go, I don't know if I could bring myself to find another husband. I'd be afraid I would constantly be measuring any new man to my DH.

I really don't know. It would depend on my age, if I had kids, etc. I hate being alone but I think it would take a very, very long time to even consider someone in a serious way. As for DH, I think he would have a hard time re-marrying as well. He doesn't get into relationships lightly, and I know we are truly the love of each other's lives.