With my first unsuccessful IUI this month, I got talking with the DH on our future plans if our next two IUIs don't work. We probably won't be trying IVF. We are thinking our next step will be adopting.
Any tips or advice?
I know there is still a chance the IUIs might work but I know the adoption process will be a long one.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I'm sorry to hear this but I'm glad that you guys have a plan of action and are on the same page.
squash / 13199 posts
I dont have much knowlege on the adoption process, just wishing you all the best for your next IUI
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I'm sorry about the IUI 
I've heard the third time is usually most successful! I really hope they work and good luck 
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I have lots of tips and advice.
You have my email right?
Maybe thinking that you'll be a mom one way or another will help take some of the pressure off for the next few IUIs?
You will be a mama no matter what sweetie!
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I'm glad you guys talked about it and agree on what you would do next. I hope it works out one way or the other soon for you!
DH and I had talked about it before we even started TTC, and we had agreed the IUI was about as far as we would go before seeking adoption. But it's different talking about it in the abstract than when you are in the situation. Good luck.
cherry / 123 posts
We set a limit as to how far we would go with fertility treatment and decided to pursue adoption if it didn't work. It really helped me so much to know that as soon as X didn't work out, we would jump right into adoption and we could focus our attention to something that would definitely end in parenthood for us. I hope you feel the same way and it gives you hope and a light at the end of the tunnel!
We are about 4 months into pursuing domestic infant adoption.. if that is something you are interested in, I'd love to answer any questions you have! And we're anticipating the whole process taking less than a year, so sometimes adoption doesn't take as long as you may think!
Good luck with everything
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@loveletter: I agree :). Our process took about 9 months, same as making a baby through gestation.
I do have one tip that might be useful starting now BB. In a paper pregnancy, there is a lot of paperwork to gather. I think I've discussed some of the basics in my blog posts.... But if you started gathering some of the basic paperwork needs and filing them away now, you could save a lot of time during a home study. It might be therapeutic during the grueling two week waits, as well
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
While my husband was doing research on fertility treatments I was looking into agencies. The day we picked our agency I was the happiest person. All the stress of fertility treatments went away. I was gong o be a mother and my body wasn't going to stop us. For us the process took a year from initial contact with the agency to placement. It was nine months of waiting or a match. Go ahead an go though with your treatments but maybe some time looking into which route you want to go, like agency, lawyer, state foster to adopt. Once you pick that look into what services are in you area.
We went with a full agency that did domestic infant adoption. Good luck on your next two treatments and know that if you end up adopting, there is no greater love than than a mother to a child and no matter how that child comes ino your life you will have that love!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
We're in the same boat. So far we have had two failed IUIs. When I go for my annual well woman exam this month, I'm going to speak to my gynecologist and get a referral to a RE. We're going to hear what they have to say and decide if we want to continue on with fertility treatments or adopt.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@loveletter: @Mrs. Jacks: Wow? 9 months? I thought it was going to take two years. I think it might be because I was reading Mrs. Cowgirl's international adoption. That's good to know that a domestic infant adoption will take that long.
@Mrs. Jacks: I did go back to your blog posts and started rereading them. Back when you wrote them, adoption was something we would consider after having our biological children. Boy! Things have changed! Something we didn't think of was using a sperm donation. I would like to try to get pregnant. We need to discuss this a little more.
So I do have one question. If we go through the process and for some reason or another, the placement doesn't go through. Do we lose the adoption fees that we already paid? Or will that money go towards the next placement?
I just want to be prepared on the financial aspects of adoption.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@bluestriped bee: the international adoption timelines are preeeetty long right now. the payments are spaced out over time (initial application fee due when you first apply, homestudy fee due when you begin your homestudy, country fee due when you accept a referral, etc.), so you don't have to have everything up front. there are very, very, very few failed placements in international adoption (i can think of 1 in the Korea program over the last 5 years), but i think some fees are refundable and others are not.
i hope that helps! PM me or email me at cowgirl [at] hellobee [dot] com.
and hang in there...making a plan is a great start, and i agree with Mrs. Jacks -- one way or another, you *will* be a momma. and when you have that baby in your arms, you'll know you were meant to be *that* little one's momma.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@bluestriped bee: When you are looking for an agency, it is good to look for an agency that guarantees the fees you've paid if the placement falls through.
Ours had a pretty sweet agreement for adoptive parents. If the birth parents changed their minds, 100% of any fees that you already paid will roll into your next situation. Also look for agencies that don't require any fees upfront. We paid half at match and the other half at placement... but if you pay before match, you are then locked into some agency, whereas we were able to list with 2 agencies. This helped keep our wait very short and didn't have any financial impact on us except for having to make 2 copies of everything.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
@bluestriped bee: I don't have any help with adoption, but wanted to say to keep your head up and wish you luck with your next IUI.
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