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I tell her I can't do what she wants and I try to reason with her for a bit before I ignore and turn up the music.

Yep, mainly because there's not really much else I can do! I find that it's actually easiest to ignore tantrums in the car and the stroller.

Like PP, I try to explain to him I can't get to it because I'm driving and will get it when we stop later. If that doesn't work, I just ignore him because there's nothing I can do. Unless I pull over, get out, retrieve tossed item, hand it to him, get back into my seat, and drive off. Knowing him, he'll probably toss it again the moment I pull out. We are not playing that game!

I find it easiest to ignore tantrums in the car since there is nothing I can do since I am driving. If DH is driving and I am in the front passenger side, sometimes I will try to reach for the item. But most of the time I just say, "I can't reach it. I'll give it to you when we get there." I think I've said it enough times that he knows that if something falls he's not getting it back until we reach our destination.

I find with my kid getting really specific seems to help. Like if I just say, "I can't, I'm driving" he will keep whining. But if I say something like, "I'm using my hands for driving right now, but when I stop at a stop sign I can use my hands to get your whatever. Right now I am using my hands for driving, though" that goes a little better.

Then I make vroom vroom noises and he thinks that is funny.