I'm contemplating not throwing my soon-to-be 3 year old a birthday party. I just don't want to spend the money on it right now. Did anyone skip a party, and if so, what else did you do to make it fun a special day? Balloons? Family dinner, anything else? I'd love your thoughts on this.
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@agold: My DSs bday is the 31st of December (NYE). Since it is after Christmas and Hannukah and the day everyone makes plans for New Year's Day, we never throw him a traditional party. For his 1st and 2nd birthday, family came down to visit for the holidays so we had a small family party (* nothing like what we do for DD when we throw a party at a ranch or rent a spa for a couple hours. š¤¦āāļø). When he turned 3, we took him to his 1st movie and then out to eat for Mexican food. They sang to him, let him pick his own dessert and let him wear a sombrero. At home, he opened all of his gifts from us, as well as, those sent from family and friends. This past year, he wanted to go to "Monkey Joes," (* think part bounce house-play gym meets arcade ... but NOT like Chuck-E-Cheese's) with his sister and a friend from speech therapy. We took him there, then he wanted to go to his favorite diner for breakfast for supper (* they sang to him there and he had birthday cheesecake). Once again, he got to open presents at home. We allowed him to stay up an hour later as well. This year, I have no idea what he will want (or if family will visit) so I'm just playing it by ear and letting him tell me what he wants. The more laid back, the better.
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I'm not planning to throw DS a 3rd birthday party with kids. I think it's still pretty young, and he won't know what he's missing. He's only been to 1 kids birthday party. We did a family party last year (+3 close family friends, no kids), I'd like to do something similar this year. Maybe with an outing. It's in October, so I could change my mind before then, but I'm really leaning toward nothing big.
To be fair, I'm a late December birthday myself, so I'm pretty ambivalent about birthday parties! -
My youngest turns 3 in December and we probably won't throw a party since it is so close to Christmas. I think we will just make it a special day, maybe go to build-a-bear and have cake at home.
FWIW, we don't really do big parties anyway. My oldest (7) had one when he turned 4 at a park and it was a disaster (rented a bounce house that the entire park decided to use, I kept having to kick people out!). Since then we may do a small party at home with a couple close friends or just go out somewhere as a family. The last two years he has requested going to an amusement park so we just invite our close friend that has two kids around the same age.
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I did! I'm sort of anti party for young kids for a few reasons (they get overwhelmed with too many guests, we do not need gifts, my son's bday is middle of Jan and there's always 9273737 communicable diseases going around, and...I'm cheap).
We had immediate family over for pizza and cupcakes. Everyone was happy. -
We also didn't give Xmas presents til he was 3
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Don't feel guilty! My son is about to turn 4 and has not had a "friends" birthday party and won't this year, either. If he really, really, wanted to, I would, but he doesn't know or doesn't care. I think he's only been to two birthday parties for friends. Honestly where we are, people are easily spending like 1k on their kid's birthday party, which to me is nuts.
My son wants to have "cake and cookies" - that is his request! So we will do that. And we will have cupcakes at his preschool and his class will sing to him. He thinks that is his party! We will probably go out to eat, have cake at home, and that's it! I have no guilt and I don't feel like he's deprived at all. Throwing a big b-day party sounds like hell to me, anyway.
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I haven't done a three year old birthday party. For my first, I didn't really do anything, just cake, presents, and his choice for food. I did regret not doing something special. For my second, my husband took him to the aquarium on his actual birthday, and we all went to his first movie in the theater on his actual birthday. I think a trip to Chuck E Cheese or to a bouncy place would be other good ideas. Also, my parents try to visit on their birthdays. My husband and I took my oldest to an amusement park for his 4th and 5th birthday parties (without younger brother), but this is not really a money saver. We are going to do our first real birthday party for his sixth birthday in a few weeks.
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We didn't do a real party for age 1 or 2, and probably would've skipped 3 BUT we comboed it with my daughters 1st bday because she's also probably my last baby.
Anyways:
Age 1: Invited grandparents and one family-friend group, had pizza and cake, had rainbow-themed plates/cups/etc
Age 2: Invited grandparents and 3 families that were our closest friends, met at a park, had pizza and cake - I even made it potluck style so everyone brought everything. -
We havenāt done a friends party before 5 so far. My oldest had the neighbor kid over for cake at 3. We always do cake and presents regardless of who comes. Ds had 2 cousins over for pizza and cake. He loved it! For his fourth we went a little bigger and went to Chuck E. Cheese with those 2 cousins and it was great, so thatās an in between option.
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@Kaohinani: I was thinking about a first movie, as well. thanks for the idea. And yes, opening presents will be fun.
@BUNBUN: Yes, they are still pretty young. Our friends throw pretty elaborate parties, but I'm not giving in to it. I will do a petting zoo party once my other baby is old enough to enjoy it. But low key for both for the next couple of years. I'd love to just say "hey, you are going to palm springs for your birthday" and let her have a balloon in the car.
@KT326: I agree about bounce houses being hard. If there are kids with more than a 10% weight difference (or something like that) the risk for injury is very high. My problem with having close friends is that it ends up still being a full party requiring significant food and entertainment. Close friends would be 11 kids, plus 4 neighborhood kids; and then a few sets of parents. So I actually don't even want to do that. I like the idea of amusement park or movie with one close friend whose parents are our best friends.
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My older son just turned 4. Weāve never done a friend/venue party for either, but weāve done a family get together thatās weāve always called a party. I donāt think it has to be a friend party to be a party. Balloons and cake at the table for lunch or dinner? Itās a party!
To make it special, we always post a bday message on our kitchen chalkboard, get the party blowers/noisemakers, and party hats!
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We skipped a party for my son's 3rd birthday because we had just moved into a new house that week and life was chaotic. We did invite a family friend with a kid his age for dinner at a restaurant to celebrate. My daughter will be 3 in November and given that it is her last year of daycare and her 2nd birthday party was poorly attended, we're going to skip a party for her as well and go bigger for her 4th birthday when she is at a new school and making new friends. It's not a big deal at all to skip a party. My 7 year old has no recollection of any party we threw him before his 5th birthday.
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For my older daughter's 3rd bday, we went to an indoor bounce place, just our family (bounce houses were her favorite). We got her favorite lunch (bagels), then had my BIL and SIL, our only local family, over for box macaroni and cheese and cake. She had a great day and I really don't think would have had any more fun with a big expensive party.
For my second daughter we did have a low key party at our house- a handful of good friends- like, my friends who have kids her age, mostly- for pizza and cake. They ran around the house, the grown ups drank beers and kept the chaos to a minimum. Even that I only really did because I wanted to see my friends and she had seen her big sister have parties before. I don't think 3 year olds really know.
@Jennibenni: very very true- if we have our direct next door neighbors over for pizza, the kids all call it a pizza party. If we happen to eat dinner with friends at the pool, suddenly it's a pool party.
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My son will only be 2 in September, but Iām pretty anti-parties for kids that young. I donāt enjoy spending our family weekend at a party for a kid who could care less, thus I donāt want to subject my family/friends to that. We do/will do balloons, cake, presents at home. Last year we went to a baseball game and the grandparents came. This year we might just go to dinner the 3 of us since Iāll be 36weeks pregnant. DH and I can make it just as special for him without making family/friends feel like they need to buy a gift or spend an afternoon at a party for a toddler. If family happens to be around that day we will invite them over. Once our kids are old enough to ask for a party and have people they'd like to attend we will probably do a more formal party. Until then I just like the family time.
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DD is four and has never had a friend party. We have always invited DD's cousin, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and one great grandparent. For the past two years we have done a macaroni and cheese bar and cupcakes. We've spent about $75-100 a year for food, drinks, and some decorations. I had no desire to spend any more than that or do anything bigger. I think this year for her 5th birthday we may do a real party.
Other things we do to make her birthday special on the actual day: fill her bed/room with balloons when she wakes up, let her have a doughnut at breakfast, and always let her pick dinner and dessert.
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We do friends birthdays every other year and family birthdays the other years. For our kids ages itās worked out to have odd numbered years for friends. On off years weāve done:
2 yr old: Were on vacation so had a cake delivered at a restaurant.
2 yr old: Extended family met us at Chick fil A with gifts and cake.
4 yr old: Cousins met us at a restaurant with a sandbox and we brought cupcakes.
4 yr old: Trip to the local zoo with cousins and cupcakes. -
My sonās 3yo birthday party was really just a big play date with 5-6 kids at our apartment. Between relatives and the adults attached to the friends, there were probably about 15-20 adults. We served brunch food. Towards the end we had birthday cake.
I splurged on a fancy cake and we cooked some nice food, but you could do something simpler like a bagel spread and some cupcakes. We did not hire any entertainment or pay for a venue.
I made a Happy Birthday sign myself, and I got a bunch of balloons from Oriental Trading and got helium tanks from Michaels.
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@agold: we didn't do one until my kid was six!! We did however do trips for birthdays and cake and gifts and family dinners. It wasn't an issue. She was so young! Now she asks for them but we have a rotating rule (for big parties.) And it still isn't a big deal.
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We did not throw our 3 year old a party. Instead we took him to Rainforest Cafe for dinner and Build a Bear (itās pay your age so only $3!). He loved it!
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We did a fun day out for our sonās fourth birthday, we went ten pin bowling, had lunch at a fast food place then spent a couple of hours at the park and finished up with a cake at home - he loved it!
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We've never had actual birthday parties at a venue; my oldest is 4.5! And I've only invited non-family for 1st birthdays. All subsequent birthdays were just at home with cake after dinner and grandparents (my side) invited.
DD1 likes it this way b/c she isn't very social. She loves that I decorate with her requests, she loves that we always went to her daycare with pizza/cupcakes to celebrate. To her I know it's already special enough. I don't think she'd ever be a big party person; probably just inviting a few close friends down the road in elementary school to do something.
My younger one is only 2.5 so she has no clue either way
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We do a big party for age 1 - and when I say big, I mean we have immediate family over at our house for a nice-ish meal, and a few hours of hanging out, nothing fancy. I say big because our immediate family is huge. DH and I each have 3 siblings, most married, several with kids, and DH and I have 7 of our 8 grandparents living. And everyone is within a few hours and they all come to EVERYTHING. So if we invite our siblings and their families, our parents and grandparents, it's like 35 people.
After that, we don't do parties for ages 2, 3, 4...we'll maybe start with friend parties around 5-6, whenever they start asking for it. My oldest is only 3 now, but for her birthday, we just did cake and presents at home with DH and I and her little sister. In our family, you either invite everyone or no one, because someone will be upset if they're not invited. So we've put our foot down on not doing parties every year.
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DD's 3rd birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and I have literally nothing planned. My parents will be visiting. We've talked about maybe going to a water park for the day (just immediate family) and then we'll have dinner and cake at home. She doesn't even have a favorite dinner so no idea what we'll make, lol.
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Thank you for all of these responses. We decided to take her to her first movie in the morning and then an immediate family dinner at our house that night. I will have balloons and cake. She will have her cousin and one of our close family friends. That's enough for now.
Next question - her actual birthday is during the week when both me and my husband work. We work opposite schedules so we won't really have a good time that day to celebrate. Do we just not mention the birthday until the weekend when we can celebrate?
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@agold: My daughter's bday was a Tuesday and we had swimming lessons that night, so on those nights it's already a mad dash to get there, home for dinner, bath, bed. We celebrated the Sunday before with presents and cake, then the morning of her actual birthday, we filled her room with balloons before she woke up, and had leftover cake after supper. So kind of made both days special.
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Didn't read the comments but what about a fun trip with her? American Girl doll store, tea party, a Disney Live type show, amusement type park or something?
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