Hellobee Boards

I feel like that's one of those rude questions that people should know better than to ask (but I'm sure they do ask anyway!). If we do wind up with twins, I'll probably just say 'my dad's a twin' which is true. For close family/friends I'll probably tell them the truth.

one of my BFFs had twins and i nannied for twins, people asked constantly about whether or not they were from fertility treatments. like strangers in line at the grocery store, 'oh they're so cute! are they twins? did you use fertility drugs?' first off, not my kids, secondly, you should have stopped after, 'they're cute'! i'm sure people do wonder, but i don't ask strangers the details of how they conceived their children, 'he's adorable! were you on top when you conceived?' that's stupid.

@MamaMoose: haha oh man can you imagine? I think with triplets or higher, unless they're identical, I just assume they did fertility treatments, but I would never ask!

And for the record, in a particularly frustrated moment, I did once respond, "No, they're plastic" when someone asked if they were natural. They didn't get it, though, so I just followed up with "They were a happy surprise."

@Mrs. Blue: great response!

I def wonder in my head but I would never ask!

@LovelyPlum: We get asked this way all the time - "Do twins run in your family"? I think that's a totally reasonable question to ask. Of course, for us it always prompts a conversation about how identical twins don't run in families, but I typically don't mind that. Mostly because I thought it was interesting when I learned it, but I had a reason to think it was fascinating! We usually just say they were a surprise, which I am sure would be equally true in the case of IVF twins. Even if there is more of a chance of multiples, it will still be a surprise when you find out!

I think we've only had a couple of people (random strangers) ask us if they are "natural." My husband did have a co-worker respond, when he said we were expecting twins, "I didn't know you were doing fertility treatments!"

@bluestriped bee: It doesn't happen every time we're out with them, but it has definitely happened more times than I can count. Sometimes people try to ask in a more sly way, but I just play dumb and answer exactly wht they asked.

My twins are 4.5mo and I haven't been asked this yet. Many people have asked if twins run in our family or if we were shocked when we found out were were expecting twins. To these questions I've always answered "they're IVF babies, so, we knew our chances of twins were very high." I don't say this to make them uncomfortable, I honestly respond this way to make fertility treatments less of a hush hush topic. I have no issue talking about our experience. Plus, if it helps someone else going through the same thing, that's great. If, (or perhaps, when) someone asks in the future outright if they were the result of fertility treatments, I won't be offended or upset, I'll just tell them, yes, they were, with a smile

Eta: we have these onsies for them, "made with love...and science"

@LMOG47: super cute onesie! And I agree, no reason to be ashamed!

I think if I ever had twins with intervention, no one would ask because we have about 5 sets of "natural" twins on my moms side between cousins/aunts/grandparents.

@looch: I know someone who had triplet boys through IVF and two were identical and one was fraternal. She actually specifically requested they only do two embryos instead of three because she was concerned about multiples. The real kicker? She was 46 and her husband was 56 when the boys were born!!!! But they are the sweetest kid!

@Mrs. Blue: Yep, I agree, you get this question regardless.

I kind of think when people ask if twins run in your family, they're trying to subtly ask if you had fertility treatments or not.

I had a woman ask me in a restaurant if I had my twins "naturally." Personally, I think it's an intrusive question, and I did NOT have fertility treatments. So, if you're "only" having one child, it's okay for me to ask, did you get pregnant on purpose? Just none of your business and the answer doesn't make the baby/babies any less precious.

@dc yoga bee: I don't really consider it offensive, I think just because I get the question ALL THE TIME, it wears on me. Twins really don't run in my family, so I answer no and then people are surprised.

Allllllll the time. As in, it's wierd if I don't get asked. I don't mind, I'm very upfront about having interventions and it really doesn't bother me at all. But yes, this is a constant question when you have multiples.

@bluestriped bee: O.M.G. I am in love with that!!! We're expecting our IVF baby boy and that almost made me cry! So funny and cute! I'm not sure Id put him in it in public just because it invites lots of comments and questions, but for around the house and family...I want it!!!

My husband is a twin -- I don't think people have asked HIM that question, but not sure about his parents. But even if they had asked him, they wouldn't have gotten a correct response until recently. He and his sister were conceived through IVF but he didn't even know until his grandma mentioned it offhand a couple of years ago!

@MrsSCB: wow, really? That's wild!

@Shutterbug: Yup! She just mentioned something about, "well since you and your sister were IVF babies..." When she left the room, I whispered, "So...did you know that?" and he was like, "NOPE." Lol, it doesn't bother him, though, we mostly just laughed about it.