Everyone suspected my friend was pregnant when she didn't drink at a recent birthday party (since she always drinks), but no one asked.
Would you ask if you suspected or wait until they shared the news?
If you knew a friend was ttc and wasn't drinking at a party, would you ask her if she was pregnant?
Jun 9, 2012You might also enjoy...
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I would wait or if it was a really close friend maybe say something later in private
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I did once. I just blurted it out without thinking: "Are you pregnant?" (but it was only her and I in the room) Then I immediately felt bad for asking. But, it turned out she was pregnant and she told me it felt good to tell someone because she hadn't let herself get excited before telling me. She is a really close friend and it turned out alright, but I wouldn't do it again.
I dread people asking me because I'm not ready to tell yet and I don't want to lie. I'm actually considering bailing out of a couple of social occasions in the next couple of weeks because I feel quite certain that the people who will be there will ask when they see me not drinking.
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I'd wait. If she wanted to tell me, she would.
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I would wait. My friend asked me in front of a whole group of people and I was so taken aback because we weren't ready to share the news yet.
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Having just been in that position and knowing how frustrating it is when people ask, I would definitely wait.
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I would privately. If she's a good friend!
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If it was a very close friend I would in private. But I would never ask in front of a group of people. I've had that happen to me a couple times and it is not cool.
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What @mamamoose said.
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I probably would because I'm nosy. But when this was me (I was the friend not drinking at a party) NO ONE asked--I was really surprised!
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I would wait. I got that question from a close friend at a wedding and I was 6 wks pregnant. Honestly if I want you to know I would tell you otherwise shrug it off and get on with your night!
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only if she were a close friend, and while we were alone. otherwise, i'd pretend i didn't notice at all.
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I wouldn't say anything. I am sure it's hard trying to keep it a secret until the time is right to share & I wouldn't want to make it tougher on her.
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Absolutely not! We went out with a couple who we knew were trying, and when the wife told me about the mocktail she had ordered (before we got there, so she didn't have to say anything at all) I was pretty sure that she was pregnant and would tell us that night, but I definitely didn't ask. Accidentally checked out her belly while we were talking, though. I was mortified when my husband asked her husband if she was pregnant though! Luckily they were planning to tell us that night anyway.
I'm in the camp that they will tell us when they are ready. My sisters are the only exception, but I know we will all tell each other as soon as we can anyway. -
Nope! I keep my mouth shut every time!
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No, I wouldn't ask. I probably wouldn't think too much of it though because we're not big drinkers and our friends aren't either so it's no uncommon to go out and not drink.
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If it were a really close friend, which I'm going to assume if you know they're TTC, I'd wait til no one could overhear us and say something along the lines of, 'i noticed you're not drinking, anything you wanna tell me??' and if she wants to spill she can & if not drop it & not straight up ask.
I hate when people ask me things that make me feel like I need to lie in my answer, so I wouldn't want her to feel like she needed to lie and say she wasn't if they'd decided they weren't ready to share yet.
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I would definitely wonder but no I would not say anything.
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i would wait...after our experience with IF, i've pretty much resorted to not asking first unless the woman is having her baby in front of me! ha!
if it was a friend, it's certainly different, but i still think i'd wait until she said something first. -
I would wait, maybe they are waiting to tell until they've told family or are past the first trimester or first doctors visit.
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I would wait, if she was I wouldn't want to ruin her surprise.
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If I was close to her, I'd ask her in private. If I wasn't close, I'd ask the hubby or some of my girlfriends what they think, but wouldn't ask the girl.
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Wait, what's a party?
But seriously, drawing on my social experience BEFORE becoming a mom, I am not that observant I guess, I don't think I'd notice. But if I did, and it were a really really really good friend who I think would react well, I'd ask.
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Nope. I don't like asking intrusive questions and now that I'm in the preggo shoes myself, if I wasn't saying something about it myself - I wouldn't want my friends to ask me. There's a reason I wouldn't have spoken up about it, so I'm in the boat that I wouldn't ask, but I probably wouldn't have noticed either.
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Nope-I actually stopped drinking about two months before we started TTC the first time. Second time I didn't think too much about it though. However we kept TTC to ourselves both times.
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Nope! If she wanted me to know, she would tell me. DH and I didn't tell anyone we were expecting until 8 weeks, and even then it was only our parents. We started to tell close family and friends at 12 weeks.
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I would definitely wait until they broke the news to me. Now that I'm on the TTC-train, I know what it's like to have people who know you're trying ask if you're pregnant when you're not, and I'd hate to do that to someone else. I figure if they want me to know, they'll tell me.
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It would depend on how close of a friend it was, if it was one of my good friends I would probably pull her aside and ask her, but never in front of a group. I hated that.
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I think it's best not to ask, since I have been in many uncomfortable situations like that and after a miscarriage, most people thankfully know better than to ask.
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I wouldn't, because there are plenty of people who abstain for a variety of reasons (TTC, pregnancy, illness, etc.).
There was plenty of times I went out without drinking, and I would be annoyed if anyone assumed I was pregnant. I just don't like to drink that much. I like to socialize, and most people prefer to do that in a setting that involves alcohol, so I've wound up being in that environment without drinking constantly throughout my adult life.
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I've done it before... but to a really close friend, and 1 on 1... not in front of people. Both times, I was right. ha! She was pregnant.
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I wouldn't say anything. I'd definitely wonder though!
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I would definitely wait unless it's a really close friend of mine.
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I wouldn't ask. Unfortunately my husband did out a friend's wife this way. Luckily she wasn't too upset, but he felt really baby afterwards. He sometimes has foot in mouth disease.
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Even if it was a close friend who had already been open with me about TTC, I wouldn't ask. I think it's wrong to out someone regardless of the situation. It's such an exciting thing to announce, why would you want to steal the thunder?
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i wouldn't ask, but i would wonder!
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It depends on the friend. I am usually sober driver; way before my now-husband and I were even engaged, rarely would I ever drink...this has worked to my advantage with TTC =) Most likely, I would ask her if she was maybe after ovulation, or if she was late or something. But definitely privately =)
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36 comments