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I think it's hard to control what others might say/do for your child but you can show LO that they are loved and supported and can make their own choices.
I'm a girly girl, DH is a sports guy (teaches sports, plays hockey and is a sports photographer). Our J loves Hello Kitty and the mall and loves the Boston Bruins and fixing his cars with tools. In anyone's life I think it's good to have a variety of interests.

My husband and I conform to gender stereotypes fairly strongly - I stay at home, he works. I love pink, he doesn't. He does more organized sports, although I'm quite active too. I just work really hard to position these things as my interests and his interests. This morning, my daughter noticed me shaving, and as always, I mentioned that I like to shave my legs, but not my face, etc. Daddy likes to shave his face but not his legs, and she can do whatever when she's a grown up.

If you just take the cultural imperative out of things, it goes a long way. I like pink, daddy doesn't, Uncle Josh does. End of story. I work really hard to do that with all my parenting - present these things as individual choice, and not some sort of biological destiny. It's been really successful so far - she has not yet come around with any notions of what girls and boys 'should' like, even though her same age cousin is starting to.

I think it's important to follow the child's preference, not to be too extemely gender neutral, and go from there. I had a great childhood overall but was raised in a very gender neutral environment and it backfired. I was allowed to do all the things that were gender neutral (like fishing, bike riding, etc) but was frowned upon if I liked girly things. Luckily, I had the sweetest neighbor who always invited me over to play with her barbies, dolls, and endless girly toys. I loved being over there! One day around 10 years old, I decided to save up my own money (from allowances and babysitting) and buy all things girly. I am a huge girly girl and love it!

@blackbird: I couldn't have written it better myself.

L is already influenced a lot by his older brothers and what they like. So what I may have done differently if he was our only child has kinda gone out the window. But, it hasn't really mattered. He LOVES his cars, but he also loves to wear my jewellery. I kinda just try to let him take the lead... I think as long as you don't say stuff like "you can't do that because it's for x gender" then they will come to their own conclusions about what they like and dislike.

We don't parent gender neutral but I will say my daughter has picked up on things from me that I find interesting. The latest is carrying a purse. She has turned any bag into a purse and carries it around saying, "Bye!" I am sure a boy would mimic this too but now my mother is planning to get a purse for Valentine's Day, so I definitely think what is modeled is learned and then reinforced.

We're just trying to raise well rounded kids. I dressed her in a lot of hand me downs when she was little - some had a boy vibe some had a girl vibe. Lo1 is super girly though and we haven't discouraged her. My parents sometimes gave me the message that girl things are stupider than boy things and it made life a little confusing and made me feel inferior for being a girl even if I was a tomboy when I was young.

But in general we expect our kids to get outside, do some forms of athletics, lo1 whose 3.5 now helps a bit with cooking, cleaning, and pretends to fix things along side of us. We teach her what we're doing whether it's me or my husband. She loves disney movies but often I just tell her the story and so sometimes it's the prince who falls asleep and the princess has to come save him.

Honestly, I feel like kids do their own thing. My daughter LOVES sports and watches with her daddy and she is a total girlie girl and loves pink and sparkles, i hate pink SO she's made up her mind at 2 without being influenced by my gender roles or her fathers. I will say I might have slightly influenced her love of gymnastics, it's something i highly enjoy and i think that has rubbed off on her.

@Mrs. Jump Rope: Do you like looking at mountains? from a hotel room? or maybe sitting by a log fire place with a cozy blanket? It all counts.

I feel that ppl around my neck of the woods are opposite - they are sooo against pink for a girl and blue for boys that they force the issue making it an issue. I want her to learn that she can be whatever she wants and like whatever she wants (without getting judged either way).

DD is 2.5. She likes Jake and pirates, cars, hair clips, tulle skirts, getting dirty and now her dolls. As a parent, I think it's important to introduce young kids to new things, but when they actually start to like stuff, then there's nothing wrong with that

@.twist.: I like eating s'mores.

@Mrs. Jump Rope: You sound like a seasoned camper to me!

@Mrs. Jump Rope: @.twist.: my s'more radar is pinging

I feel like this is one of those things that was never worried about before our omg-overthink-everything generation. My SAHM was/is very feminist and told me I could do anything I wanted. She also put me in ballet early, bought me barbies (tonssss of barbies!!) and Ive always been a girly girl. I also have never played stupid, have always thought I could do whatever boys could do - and did what *I* wanted.

I was pretty "anti-princess" before LO and did limit the pink when she was born (moreso, I limited the barf-inducing "daddy's princess" crap and still do), but I've grown to see that LO can love to wear a tutu or princess dress and I can still encourage her to do whatever she loves.

I think if you really believe in gender equality, that will come across and have an impact more than intentionally limiting wardrobe choices will.

@Torchwood: I'm really enjoying this post. What is the book you read? I'm not sure if it is a parenting method you may be intrested in but I really enjoy reading about slow parenting, which follows some of the same methods- encouraging the child's interests allowing them to learn on their own and solve problems. I never really thought of raising my child in a totally gender neutral home. Just a happy place where they feel encouraged to be themselves without a bunch of confusing messages from us about what the should or should not do based on gender.

For me my biggest peeve is clothing that labels kids before the can even ready, all star, daddy's little slugger, daddy's little princess etc. I can not stand that kind of thing and won't put written labels on my child.

Eta: obviously I am not a parent quite yet and not practicing gender neutral parenting- so sorry if I'm butting in.

My son is 4. He is currently playing with my vintage Barbie Dream House, alternating with a set of die cast trains.

My view is this: if we buy our son a tool set, it's not blue or pink, because we don't have tools that look like that, we look for a set that mimics what grown up tools look like. We have a play kitchen, it's beige and red. My son has also wheeled around a pink doll stroller loaded up with rocks.

He is what he is, no influence of mine is going to change it. I was actually surprised when he began talking about boys and girls. He very clearly says he is a boy and that I am a girl and he knows that he likes the colors pink and purple. Best thing I can do is support him in what he is, rather than try not to let him be as he identifies, if that makes sense.

@Torchwood: I'm glad you posted this. I'm a bit afraid of this happening with my son. I also had a friend who had a bit of emotional issues connecting with his dad because of some of this.

Now having a boy and girl, from even a financial aspect, buying neutral toys and clothes makes sense. My daughter got a boys bike (silver and shiny blue) for Christmas because we wanted to make sure we could hand it down to our son later.

However I do think there are natural tendencies with boys/girls. My daughter will "mother" anything (the Christmas nutcracker that looked like a pirate was immediately a baby) and we got her a train table and she wants nothing to do with it. However several little boys that come to play go nuts over the train and will turn anything into a sword.