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@NurseMommy: I pushed for about an hour and half and LO had to have a vacuum assist. I don't think it had anything to do with whether I was fit or not. She had a huge melon!!!! We pushed for 1.5 hours with NO progress, whatsoever.

I don't feel guilty about it whatsoever. You shouldn't either!

And yes, I did take an epidural. The only thing I wonder if if because I got a little too much (the anesthesiologist was a little heavy handed) that I couldn't feel much and that made pushing tougher.

I pushed for 3+ hours (eventually c section) and I was fit (i think...I worked out regularly) before and during pregnancy #1.

I had an epi for pushing. Pushed for 2 hours and 41 minutes. I wasn't necessarily in shape, but I think that it's a luck of the draw when it comes to this.

I didn't push for a long time (45 min according to DH) but I thought I'd chime in on the physically fit thing. I was very fit at the end of my pregnancy. A lot of people have speculated that exercise was the cause of my long 51 hour labor.

I don't think there's any recipe for a quick and easy birth. -- not even 300 squats a day like an Ina May quote says. At least it didn't work for me.

I busted my ass in the gym and at a physical therapist my entire pregnancy. Had a 37 hour labor with 4.5 hours of pushing and a vacuum assist. Luck of the draw, I think

Just want to say that i definitely was not physically fit during my pregnancy and had a short pushing stage with both deliveries. One was with epidural and one without. Its not your fault that you had a vacuum assist!

I did Pilates 3x/week throughout my pregnancy, and felt strong and ready for labour, in my core especially. In the end I don't think it mattered. I pushed for an hour unmedicated and since my baby's head didn't drop at all in that time, I was allowed to have an epidural (not usually done at that late stage), pushed for another 1.5/2hrs, and ended up needing forceps. The OB that delivered Aaron told me that I would definitely have had a c-section if I hadn't been able to push as hard as I did, that foreceps are 70% the mom pushing, 30% the instruments (ventouse even more so, 90% moms work)...but who knows?? I was so numbed out by that point I couldn't tell what I was doing. They had me fully prepped for a c-section so I was completely numb from the boobs down!

No matter what, nothing that happens in labour and delivery is anyone's fault!! I think you just go in with your plan and do your best to see if through, but if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. Healthy baby & healthy mom FTW!

I did not have an epidural and I don't think I'm particularly fit - average weight but never exercise. Was on bed rest also for the last three months of pregnancy. I pushed for about 45 minutes. I think a lot of it had to do with technique as well as not having pain meds and being able to feel exactly where to push.

With #1 I had a "walking epi" (very low dose, turned off when I started pushing) and pushed for 3 hours before delivering. With #2 I had the same epi, and pushed for 15 minutes. I did need a vacuum, but it was because his hand was by his face. Both labors were under 8 hours total and I am very active. I learned that every pregnancy, labor, delivery, and baby are different- just because #1 went a certain way does not guarantee #2 to be the same!

No epidural, 1 hr 45 min of pushing and I would say I was in pretty good shape going into it (working out or walking almost everyday). I'm no where near as good of shape this time around and I'm nervous about how it will be.

I pushed for 4 hours and had 45 hours of labor total. No epidural and no assist - she just really didn't want to come out! (My MW actually said that I had really strong pelvic floor muscles, which were impeding DD's progression.) I was in really good shape during pregnancy, but I think it matters more that you are strong (legs especially) than fit - and you can certainly get as strong as you want between now and #2... squats are your friend (that is what my prenatal yoga instructor used to say as she was torturing us).

I will say, however, that my labor pretty much screwed me over... I ended up with a hemorrhage (because my muscles were so tired) and I now have "zero kegel strength" according to my MW. It SUCKS and that is something I *really* need to start working on.

I pushed for 2.5 hours and yes, I had an epi but it had worn off and I could feel every contraction. I feel like I am physically fit (I mean, I could be in better shape probably) but I don't think that had anything to do with it. It was more of the fact that she was "sunny side up" (as DH likes to say). She needed a vacuum after 2.5 hours but I don't think anything could have prevented that. I'm just happy I didn't need an emergency c-section.

@Corduroy: This. My friend is a homebirth midwife, and both she and my doctor have speculated that my build + my physical fitness + baby's position were the reason for my 54 hour labor. My friend said its been her observation (and maybe research? I can't remember) that sometimes people who run and have core definition from that kind of exercise have long labors because their bodies/muscles tighten against the contractions and can hold the baby in place.
Who knows.

Be gentle with yourself, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, and you carried and birthed your daughter. That is an incredible accomplishment, no matter the details of it.

If she had a similar delivery with her own child, how would you want her to feel about it? Guilty? Proud? Sometimes we treat others better than ourselves.

I pushed for just over 2 hours.

I had an epidural but it wore off around 8 cm and it took me a LONG time to get to 10. So I felt every single contraction. It couldn't have been further off from what I hoped my labor would be like!

And no, I am not & was not physically fit. I gave it my all, I pushed so long and so hard each time that I puked like the exorcist.

So, don't feel bad that you needed assistance, I don't think that your physical shape had much to do with it!

@Silva: Yes to this.

I didn't push for a long time because I ended up with a csection as baby never descended so I was induced at 42 weeks and then the whole cascade of interventions thing happened.

But after talking with my midwife (who noted several times during my pregnancy that I had extremely strong abdominal muscles), as well as several doulas, including a couple who are also crossfit athletes, I've basically ascertained that DD never descended because my core was so strong, and as a result I never dilated or effaced (by 42 weeks I was 1 cm and only 20-30% effaced). This never crossed my mind during pregnancy and I thought it was fantastic that I stayed in such great shape (and I still think it is) but I never realized it could impact my birth negatively.

I pushed for 2 1/2 hours with an epidural (ended in C-section.) I was told no matter how much pushing I did she wouldn't have fit, she was sunny side up and too big for me. I wasn't in great shape, but I was in some sort of shape before she was born. I think I did everything I could.

With #1 I pushed an hour and 45 minutes, I'm not the most physically fit in the world but her head was coming out sideways.

With #2 I pushed less than 5 minutes

Epidural both times.

I pushed for 3 hours before I delivered with a vacuum assist. I was not physically fit.

I had had 3 epidural failures so by the time I was pushing, the third epidural had pretty much worn off.

By the time I was pushing I had been awake for almost 36 hours straight with a brutal 24 hour labor, and my son had a huge 99th percentile head. So I attribute the failure to push him out to my exhaustion from a long labor and his huge head.

If it helps you any, my same body (not much more physically fit than the first time) pushed my second out in 15 minutes totally and completely numb from epidural/spinal catheter! She slipped out EASILY.. I could have pushed her out quicker but the doctor wasn't ready! and her head was not small either... I think 80th percentile?

yes I had an epi, I would say I'm moderately fit, I pushed for about an hour