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I feel like the biggest emotional ball of whack right now. I was all tears this morning after hearing that I had only one mature follicle on CD11. That's all I had for my second unsuccessful IUI. I waited all day to hear what this morning's bloodwork indicated and it looks like we have a little more time to get my second follicle to grow. Please, oh please grow little follicle! I just want to feel like this crazy injectables cycle was worth it! Thursday is my third IUI. If this one doesn't take, I'm taking several cycles off. We have a vacation booked to Mexico in early April. Either I'm celebrating being pregnant, or I'm sipping pina coladas and downing the Coronas.
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@marionberry: This beta can't come soon enough! Now I'm so regretting not calling to ask if I could go in tomorrow like DH told me to. Argh.
@sweetooth: I think your second follicle can totally make it! The Bravelle + trigger can do wonders to help grow and mature something that size. I had a 12.5 that ended up maturing between my last u/s and retrieval, so it can happen!
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@sweetooth: Just a few days! I triggered on Friday. We could potentially all be November mamas :-).
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@spaniellove: I see 2 lines! I hope the best for you!!!
@sweetooth: I love the idea of an electric slide fertility dance!!!! I'll do one for you tomorrow morning!
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@spaniellove: loving that last test!!!
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Well RE visit today wasn't good, I still have a cyst so I am going on BC pills. I am really sad and frustrated at having to sit out another cycle. Definitely no 2013 baby for us.
I'll check back as I am expecting several BFPs from you ladies this month! I think your onto something with this fertility dance
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@spaniellove: yay! sending positive thoughts your way!
@kentuckygirl: I'm so sorry to hear you have to miss a cycle
this emotional rollercoaster is NO fun.
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Anyone out there starting their 2ww? I totally thought I was over being this emotional, nervous wreck every time it comes around, but it's happening again! Ugh. Why is it that I'm depressed before I even know anything??
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@spaniellove: OK, I had my doubts with the FRER but that most recent picture, the one with the PM test of 8dp4dt, is a BFP!!!!! Squeeeee!
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@spaniellove: Girl, those lines are getting DARKER!! It damn well better be a BFP, 'cause three evap lines in a row would be way too cruel. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
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@kentuckygirl: hugs.
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@Jennimac: thank you, I need hugs! How are you feeling? Have you been able to get an ultrasound & see the heartbeat yet?
@mrs.halfsie: thanks, it's really rough because this is the second cycle in a row where we can't try because of the cyst.
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Hi Ladies.... I hope you don't mind if I join you. I have been lurking on this thread since it started but I am pretty shy about sharing what we are going through. However after my meltdown this weekend (after AF showed)I thought it might help to share with others who know what its like to be going through the pain and heartache of infertility.
A little about my situation. I'm 28 and DH is 33, we have been trying for 15 cycles with no luck. We have been seeing an RE since November and I had a Lap in January for severe endometriosis. DH has issues with count and motility which we have been told are boarderline. This is our first treatment cycle and we are doing 5mg of Fermera with IUI (possible trigger shot). I really hope this cycle works because every cycle that fails seems to hurt more.
@kentuckygirl: I am really sorry you still have the cyst and have to go on BC, hopefully it will be cleared up for your next cycle
@spaniellove: I love a positive pee stick and that last one looks good!
@MrsCB: Good luck with the TWW!
@sweetooth: FX that this IUI cycle is a success!
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@mrswin: Welcome & thank you! This group of ladies has been wonderfully supportive! I hope this is your lucky cycle!!!
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@kentuckygirl: today I felt crappy. We go next Monday. DH found out tonight that he may have to fill in for someone at work and may not be able to make it. Cue panic in me because he was working last time we went to the doctor and things went to pot. My mom may come down. I refuse to go by myself because I was by myself before. I keep reminding myself of my devotional I read this morning: Refuse to worry! So, I'm trying to not.
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@Jennimac: I'm sorry you're worried that DH can't go. I get it. Everytime one of my symptoms goes away I flip out because thats what happened last time. I think a loss really changes a persons ability to stay worry free. That's really nice that your mom might be able to go!
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@Jennimac: I hope your mom is able to go with you and give you reassurance that this time will be different, and you get to see your beautiful baby!
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@spaniellove: Um shouldn't you being POAS or a digi or something wonderful!
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@ladybee: Still only able to get lines on the OSOMs! Asked around on FF and they don't seem like evaps so my only other guess is that my HCG levels are really low. I'm scared to do my beta tomorrow and either be told that it's under 5 or just end up in beta hell.
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@spaniellove: I don't think it's common to get that many evap lines so my guess is your beta just isn't high enough yet but tomorrow you'll get the offical blood results. You see so many people post that they never got a BFP on a HPT but blood work showed BFP and they have healthy babies now. All those lines have to mean something! The one at 8pm last night looked darker so I bet everything is going the way it should!
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@kentuckygirl and @sweetooth: here's to hoping you both woke up in better spirits this morning. I'm sorry you both had tough emotional days yesterday. Some things just don't seem fair.
@MrsWin: Welcome! I actually am not infertile, but we're getting closer and closer to that year mark. This and the charting group are my favorite HB places to hang out--smart and caring women here.
@jennimac: fingers crossed that either your mom or DH will be able to be with you on Monday.
@Spaniellove: thank goodness for those OSOMs, but I wish you had a bold "pregnant" in a digital just for your nerve's sake. HB is going to light up when you have your official good news!
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@spaniellove: Thanks for sharing that little detail with me. I wish they could measure it one more time before the IUI so I would know if I have 2 for sure. I think I will just believe that I will have two great follicles on Thursday. Keep yourself busy today! It will fly by and you'll be in for your beta in no time!
@MrsCB: Yes! I love that thought
@justdarling: I can't seem to get that cheesy electric slide music out of my head...
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@kentuckygirl: stupid cyst! I'm sorry that you have to take another cycle off. I would be so sad and frustrated too. I hope you find good ways to take care of yourself. I wish all of this wasn't so hard and that these breaks could result in guaranteed pregnancy. I think if you have to get on BC while dealing with infertility, you should be guaranteed that you will get pregnant. Hugs!
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@mrs.halfsie: I'll be entering my TWW at the end of this week. That emotional, nervous wreck feeling doesn't seem to fade, does it? I'm finding that meditation is really helpful for me during the TWW. Hope it flies by for you with good results at the end!
@mrswin: Thank you
I'm glad you said hello! Welcome! I know it helped me tons when I started talking about my struggles with other women who "got it". I hope you respond well to the Femara and that you have a successful IUI. It really does get harder to handle the negative results when you embark on these medicated cycles. It helps to have support. We're here for you!@Jennimac: I hope it works out that your husband doesn't have to work that day. But it's great that your mom would be able to be there for you if needed. Refuse to worry! I should write that one down and stick it to my computer screen
@Happygal: Thank you
Today is already off to a much better start.
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@mrswin: welcome, and good luck!
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@kentuckygirl: I'm so sorry about the stubborn cyst! Hopefully this BCP does the trick so you can get back on track soon. If nothing else, it'll keep your follicles nice and quiet so they might be close together in size during your next stim cycle!
@mrswin: Thank you and welcome! I hope your stay is short!
@sweetooth: The good thing about the 2WW - no injections! You won't miss them, will you?! I bet your 2nd follicle is growing and catching up! I'm going to have to remember to do my Circle + Bloom today and anything else I can do to take my mind off the possibility that this might be a chemical. And then how the heck do I handle doing IVF again.
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@spaniellove: Nope! I will not miss the injections at all. After 9 injections and the final trigger shot tonight I feel like a pro. Bleh, I'd rather be a pro at being a mom! I'll be happy to hide the sharps container after tonight. But then, onto progesterone!
Yes, make time for C+B today. It's all you can do right now, think positive and breathe. Don't think about the what-ifs. Not now. You have worked so hard. Treat yourself right!
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@sweetooth: You do Endometrin, right? I realized that after a more intense round of injections the Endometrin didn't seem as bad as I remembered. This time I'm only using liners/pads made with organic cotton (not the reusable kind) and things feel so much happier down there!
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@spaniellove: No, I'm on prometrium. That's an interesting observation though. Maybe I will react to it differently this time around. It's been so nice having a break from liners/pads. Two weeks of progesterone and then moving on to AF...makes for not so much happiness down there
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@kentuckygirl: I am so sorry tha the cyst didn't go away. The BC pills should do the trick and then you can start fresh next cycle.
My DH is going in to the urologist today. Hopefully we'll get some answers. I'm still enjoying my month off, but of course am still symptom spotting! I didn't even do OPKs this month, but am pretty sure that I did O and now am analyzing everything! I guess 15 months of TTC makes you a little crazy!
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Wow, tough to keep up with everyone!
@kentuckygirl: Boo, sorry to hear about the cyst! Hopefully this next month finally does it in so you can move on.
@justdarling: As much as I dreaded it, I kindof enjoyed taking a month off too. Good to hear your DH is out looking for answers.
@sweetooth: Glad you'll be in the TWW camp shortly! I really prefer it to pre-ov since I don't have to worry that we're doing everything right.
As for me, I'm at 12dpo and had a .2 temp jump today (it usually starts heading down by now)! I took an HPT and its still negative though
I'm a little worried that I might be coming down with a cold, but if I am, its a mild one, and I have no fever. Hoping my acupuncturist will tell me something good this afternoon.
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@Mrs.Someone: I was just coming on here to see when you were going to test after seeing your chart looking so good! Let us know what the acupuncturist says, and good luck fighting off that cold.
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@Happygal: Its frustrating
I'm worried that its a false alarm and the jump is because of the cold.
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@spaniellove: looks like a positive!!! Good luck tomorrow!
Edit: Have you guys heard from derevival and her transfer?
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@Jennimac: good luck! I know what you mean about not wanting to go alone.... Hope your hubs is able to make it.
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@tequiero21: I haven't...I think she posts mainly on the IVF thread?
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I'm so scared about my beta tomorrow. I decided to stop POAS after this morning because it doesn't matter that much anymore if I'm going to know my beta numbers soon.
DH and I talked about all of our options if this cycle doesn't work out - adoption, donor eggs/embryos, or just doing another IVF cycle. We decided adoption won't work because I don't want to keep reliving painful things that have happened in my childhood and donor eggs are insanely expensive (plus Korean donors are hard to find - it's important to us that our child be at least half-Korean). So if/when we confirm that this cycle is a bust, I'll think about calling the other clinic in town since the RE there is well-known for treating DOR/POF and is more experimental - apparently women with high FSH/low AMH come from all over to see him. I hate that I know he and his staff killed a patient during a routine egg retrieval, but I might regret it if I used up my last chance and didn't go to him.
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@spaniellove: Sorry to hear you're scared about tomorrow
I know you're a planner, but I think it was you that was given the advice so long ago to "think pregnant thoughts". Try not to think past this cycle, because you're still very much in the game. I know its easier said than done though!
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@spaniellove: It's so hard when you get to this point in the process and your mind begins to prepare for how to cope with the bad news...instead of the goods news. So many of us on this thread haven't received good news, so all we know is bad news at the end of every cycle. It makes sense that you're thinking through the "what ifs" - but just know that while you're over there preparing for whatever news you receive tomorrow - we're all over here hoping and thinking good thoughts for you!
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@spaniellove: I kept testing cuz I was so nervous my positive would disappear and I'd be devastated. I wanted to be prepared for negative. =P
I'm so sorry u went thru some painful times in the past. We were thinking adopting from Korea if ivf didn't work out.... How come your ivf cost so much? Seems like twice the average....I'm really rooting for you. I didn't get a dark line for awhile but it is easier to be pessimistic then ecstatic rather than joyous then devastated....
And how in the world did he kill someone!?!?
this emotional rollercoaster is NO fun.
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