My mom is starting to plan a baby shower and asked me if I wanted to invite my MIL. The shower guests will be my family, a couple of friends, and people my mom knows. What is the proper etiquette? I don't feel it's the same as for bridal showers (where MIL and SILs were invited) not sure why I feel this way. Although it hasn't been discussed I'm guessing my inlaws will be doing their own shower because they have for Dhs cousins.
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I dont know the etiquette, but I invited my in laws. We only had one shower but even if we had two I would still invite them because i and my friends love them.
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We're having one giant coed baby shower with both sides and family, so my MIL will definitely be invited. However, until you're sure there will be a DH-side baby shower I would include her on the invite list!
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We live in the same town as MIL, so she gets invited to everything. We didnt have a baby shower in my hometown, but if we had I would have felt obligated to invite her so that her feelings wouldn't get hurt (she gets butt-hurt over everything, *eye roll*)
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My MIL has passed, but my SIL, cousins in law, granny in law, aunts in law, etc. are all thrilled for this baby. They are close to DH and its his baby too. So I think they have every right to come and should be invited. I'm only having one shower.
But I'm on good terms with my in laws so it may be different if you're not.
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My MIL and DH's aunts were invited to my baby shower thrown by my sisters. It was my only baby shower, and I wanted them to be part of it.
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will you be traveling to NY for the shower? and your MIL lives near your hometown? for me, everyone is local, so there would be no reason not to combine the families.
I think it comes down to whether your MIL would be hurt not to be invited, even if she wouldn't travel to attend.
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All of DH'a family is invited. I can't imagine having a shower where my family is invited and his isnt
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I would invite my MIL to a shower if she we were local. I would expect the grandmother's get invited the showers regardless of who's family hosts.
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@MrsTiz: same.
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Our parents/families live across the country from one another so it wasn't an issue for us. If I were you I'd have DH ask his mom if she is throwing a shower or knows of one her side of the family is throwing. I would just want to make sure there's a shower on that side of the family. If so I don't think it's a bad idea to invite her and any other immediate family members (SIL's or grandmas) but you don't want to invite them and have them think "oh good now I don't have to throw a shower."
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I'd invite them!
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Whenever I have a shower I will invite my MIL. She's close to my mom and I will want her there.
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In our family we never have "her side" vs "his side" showers....it's just one shower! I adore my MIL though, so of course I want her to come!
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I invited my mil!
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MIL was invited to my baby shower. We did it more as a courtesy than anything else. She's been invited to other showers, etc. but doesn't attend because she's many states away. My aunt absolutely despises my MIL and hated the fact that we even included her on the invite list to the showers that she's thrown me.
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@Leialou: and I hope that is very soon!!! (Sorry for the minor thread jack
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I'd invite your MIL even if she might be planning another shower. She can always refuse, but at least you've made the effort and her feelings won't be hurt.
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I'm pretty close to my mil so I would invite her.
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This comment has been deleted by the original poster.
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I invited MIL. She didn't come. Or send a card.
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I don't think it's different than a bridal shower - the wedding was for both of you, and you're both this baby's parents. I don't exactly click with my MIL, she's not someone I'd be friendly with if it weren't for her son, but yes she was invited.
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I didn't have a shower on my side but if I did I.absolutely would've invited my MIL.
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My MIL lives across the country, but she was invited just in case. She actually flew out just for my wedding shower! She couldn't come but I wanted her to feel included because a) I really like her and we get along very well; b) she was as excited, if not more, for the baby as my side was; and c) she only has sons so I'm the closest thing she has to a daughter so I try to include her in any motherly things I can (like, I scheduled a dress fitting while she was visiting before our wedding so she could be part of it, though I went shopping with only my mom)
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My sisters threw my baby shower, we invited both sides of the family.
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Yes, I had an all-inclusive shower. My MIL wanted to throw me a shower but my mom was already planning one and I didn't want two separate ones. It didn't make sense to me to have one for my side and for her to throw one for her family. And I would have been really irate if she threw one and didn't invite my mother. My side and her side are only about an hour's drive so we had it where I grew up and made it work.
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I had one shower that was for both sides of the family that was thrown by my mom, stepmom and MIL. I'm sure we would have invited her if we had separate ones however
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I only had one shower, but it would never occur to me to not invite her. LO is her grand baby too.
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We're having one coed baby shower that my parents are hosting, so both sides are invited.
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@oliviaoblivia: bahahhaha.....sorry to laugh but, your MIL never ceases to amaze...
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Mine surprised me by flying across the country with SIL to attend the shower and stay with us for four days. I was much too pregnant for houseguests.
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While many people have more these days, it used to be a first-time mother had 1 shower, and all family should absolutely be invited. Even if you think they'll throw you their own, it's not worth it to cause division or hurt feelings in your family. Your DH's family is also your family now, and your MIL will be "grandma" to your LO, not an in-law.
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31 comments