I LOVE HB so don't get me wrong but my husband mentioned that he found it a bit high school mentality when he browsed. I have to admit that I sometimes feel that way too. The topics we post and the cliques and drama side. I know it's ironic to post this thread but I am almost 37 and I do ind it kind of funny sometimes what I might let get to me on here. What's your feeling?
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sometimes, yes. it can be cliquey.
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I've noticed the same thing.
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I guess I'm not on enough to really notice. There are a few dividing lines, perhaps. Or maybe I wasn't nearly this cool in high school.
I mostly silently root for every TTC lady. Whether first cycle to IVF. That's my HB m.o.
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@Espion: that's. good MO!
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I think it's due to a combination of valid reasons: some friendships have grown stronger throughout the years, closer bonding among groups with similar due dates or due date twins, similar line of work, TTC issues etc... HelloBee is the friendliest parenting site that I have found online though. The other sites are pretty rough.
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@Espion: I am on rooting for the TTC ladies also!
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@Kimberlybee: I agree.
Most of DS's friends parents act way more high school than this community (they're all 35-45 years old). That type of attitude is everywhere! I don't remember high school being as supportive as HB though haha.
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I don't think it is. I can't think of any cliques, certainly not ones that exclude other people (maybe I don't see it? Oh no, maybe Im the problem??!). There are people here with very different views but I think we all get along for the most part. Just because were all grown up now, it doesn't make us any less insecure sometimes or mean we won't be hurt by something someone - deliberately or inadvertently - said.
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Haha! If my high school had been this nice, it would have been awesome!!!
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No disrespect to your husband, but i think this kind of comparison is pretty disrespectful to women. I have never heard a "mens space," men's conversations, or group of male friends referred to derogatorily as "like high school." This kind of comparison implies that women's topics of conversation a re juvenile, and that we are unable to have mature, adult relationships or interactions. It's a bit condescending, you know?
I think some women grow closer, and others less so, and I think that from time to time people become annoyed with each other, and probably even gossip about it, but that occurs in all relationships, not just high school girl ones.
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Sometimes I feel awkward and not a real part of things but when I do I just post more (I tend to fall into lurking spells) and feel totally welcomed and with things
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I do feel it's a bit clique-y, but also, extremely friendly and caring. I don't even know if that makes any sense.
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Sorry but I think a post like this is sort of "high school". At least you agree.
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I had a pretty great high school experience, so.... Yes? I also think life is like high school, really--all sorts of people with all backgrounds interacting the way they know how--- some people are aggressive, some are nice, some are oblivious, some are more or less likable than others.
It's just human nature.
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@Anagram: I totally agree. Life is way more like high school that I ever imagined it would be. Work, especially!
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@Ash: ditto. Posts like this are just asking for drama, which is HS.
It is only natural, even online, that some friendships are going to be stronger then others.
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@Anagram: Haha, that's funny, because I feel like real life hasn't progressed beyond kindergarten!
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Now I've got this song in my head!
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This thread gets a big azz eye roll from me . . . I am sure your husband would just love to see a drama-filled shit show as a result of this thread.
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@Silva: this.
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@MsLipGloss: ditto.
Who cares?
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Ahhh I find HB so tame! Everyone is beyond nice and supportive! I WISH high school was like this. Sometimes I wish there were a few more healthy debates though because I think this community handles them well and shows very little snarkiness.
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Compared to other forums HB is very friendly!!!
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@Cherrybee: my first thought was- wait am I the problem??
But no I don't really think it's like high school. There are people I find I have more in common with and talk to more in the boards- same age babies or babies with sleep problems!- but that's it.
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I think my response to pretty much every thread should just be, "What @Silva: said."
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@Foodnerd81: It's me and you, isn't it?! And Lawbee. Sitting in the corner, talking about our babies crap sleep, dissing everyone whose baby STTN and thus isn't as cool as us. Hang on, your baby STTN now! That's it! Out of my gang right now!! (gang?? can you tell I wasn't cool at all in school?!)
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@heartonastring:
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oh, @Cherrybee: I just adore you. And reading your comments with a British accent just makes me giggle all the more.
*this doesn't excuse your trouble making, though, young lady
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You're right, sometimes it is like high school. Some of the posts I see about husbands make me think they are actually high school boys.....
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Yep...@Cherrybee: is right, @Foodnerd81: You're out now that C STTN! How dare she!!
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I gotta agree with @MsLipGloss: on this one.
I think this forum is what we make of it.
Would I love to be closer to some bees, absolutely..But, at the same time it is what it is.
It's not going to make me freak out if I'm not part of the 'cool kids club' (for the record, I do feel it to be cliquey at times but it's really only an issue if it's made to be one)
I have a few awesome bees that always respond to my threads or include me in theirs and that helps when maybe I feel like I'm not 'popular' but all in all this is a very welcoming environment. -
I've never thought of HB as cliquey! And I don't really think it's like high school, there's hardly any drama here.
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I'm with @MsLipGloss: Sorry, but it sounds like your husband is the one turning it into a cliquey, gossipy, high school environment, all for his entertainment.
Sure, sometimes I don't feel like I'm part of the "cool kids." But WTF. I'm 35 years old with my own friends IRL. I honestly don't care if I'm one of the "cool kids" on a parenting forum. If it was really hurting my feelings, then I'd a) quit coming here and b) have to do some serious soul-searching about my own self-esteem. Because really.
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Not really.. Although I am mainly a lurker..
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I don't participate in due date or TTC boards so I'm not sure about those, but I completely agree with @Crisark: . I've never felt like Hellobee was cliquey. But I don't FULLY participate... I only participate in threads I'm interested in. That's because I only want my Hellobee experience to be what I make of it, which is casual and fun conversation, and asking for/giving parenting advice. I'm not interested in or have time for any drama.
I do feel closer with some bees, bloggers, and hostesses, but if that connection happens I usually take it off the 'Bee and continue it elsewhere (email, facebook, gchat, etc).
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@LMOG47: Ba-hahaha! What can I say? I'm a gobshite!
@Crisark: Do your kids sleep through Crisark? If they don't, you can be in mine and @lawbee11: 's gang? You gave me some reassurance when I was diagnosed with GD and was really scared so you will always be one of my favourites xx
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I don't see how it is hs-ish or cliquey? And I'm on here all the time. I must be really unobservant because I have no idea who the "cool kids" are. I didn't even know adulthood had "cool kids".... lol
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No, this forum is nothing like high school.
Edited: I understand that there may be a concern about cliques and friendships and whatnot, but that will happen naturally any time you have a large group of people coexisting. The subject could have been brought up in a more mature way than referring to the group as having a high school mentality.
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@Cherrybee: Aww you just made me smile thank you!!! And I SOOOO want in the gang
@mrs. wagon:
I mostly silently root for every TTC lady. Whether first cycle to IVF. That's my HB m.o.
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