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I would only offer to give away things that I no longer needed/wanted. You're not obligated to give her anything!

I don't think you should be expected to give away LO's things. I would never ask for someone else's stuff, even though I graciously accept if they offer.

My SIL and BIL are ttc soon, and we are going to lend them some of our gear and probably some clothes too. We are really close though. I'd be less likely to share with someone I wasn't that close with unless I was positive we were done having kids.

try not to feel obligated. you never know... maybe she doesn't want them anyway? when I gave things away after first LO, I gave them away because I really wanted (okay, more like needed) to make more space (always an issue living in NYC). I was very okay with not getting those things back. I kept plenty for #2 though.

If you don't feel comfortable giving something away, don't!

You don't give stuff away until you are done! I don't think you would be expected to.

LO isn't even here yet and this is something I think about. People around me seem to think we have tons of baby clothes already and it's just the bare essentials (maybe they do laundry more, I don't know). But whatever we have, we intend to use on our 2nd baby-to-be. I dread someone asking me for baby things, because I still want to use them!

I don't believe in borrowing. For me borrowing = never seeing again, so if I were you, I'd buy her a couple of new things and whatever extras of something you most definitely won't use again.

I hate being put on the spot like that and truly hope no one specifically asks. With that said, I'm normally very generous with my friends, I'm usually the first one to send out a gift or two - just not my own things.

Edit: I'm pretty sentimental, the type that would frame baby's 1st onesie.

So glad I read this post. My SIL is due next month and I had planned on giving her many things that I no longer/don't care in getting back and some big items that i hope to get back. As much as i want to be a cheerful giver, especially since i received some great hand-me-downs,, there are some items i cannot give, especially things that were passed down on my side of the family. It would be very weird if my SILs baby was wearing my baby shoes, and baptism outfit that all the women in my family wore. Too bad my MIL doesn't understand that- she wants me to give her daughter everything including those things.

I agree with everyone - if it's something you're planning to use again, keep it. If she asks for your stuff (which takes a lot of balls, by the way), just say "we're planning on having more kids in the future, so we're holding on to all our baby stuff for now."
Then show her a remarkable invention called "Craigslist" where she can find baby items for cheap that other people don't want/need anymore.