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I don't really see a woman's first pregnancy as "having her turn". It's not always a one-time thing; lots of people go on to have multiple children. Your friend has just decided to have another baby, plain and simple. I'm sure your pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with her timing, nor is it an attempt to steal anything from your experience. Pregnancy is a super exciting time, but it's really just not going to be the main focus of everyone's lives.

I'd center on the positive: your friends are graciously throwing you a shower and your child will have a playmate, close in age. One of my good friends was due a few weeks before me, and we had a great time sharing the experience. Believe me, it's nice to have someone around who wants to sip virgin margaritas and talk about babies, for hours.

I doubt that you'll have to have a joint celebration with her, if that's what you're worried about? And honestly even if you did, I think it's fun to share in these experiences with friends! You will definitely appreciate having a friend due soon after you.

The only person who can let someone else's pregnancy take away from your own is you, so yes, I think you're being a little crazy. Would you have felt more special to be the first friend to get pregnant? Each pregnancy is special, and are celebrations, not competitions.

Honestly, I am thrilled that my best friend is having her baby two months after me. Why does there have to be spotlight to be stolen? The more the merrier!
Also, after my losses, nothing can take away my joy. It's not about a spotlight.

From the outside perspective, I wouldn't be any less excited for a friend's baby because another friend got pregnant. One of my cousins gave birth to her daughter six months after I had mine, and it has been awesome even though they live far away. We can bounce ideas off of each other, etc. I'd love to have someone who lived closer to us in the same boat as me. I don't think it's *you*, I think our world has made babies into this wedding-like thing where it's about all this cutesy stuff, but the real stuff that matters- having people who will be there to love you and your lo- won't change! Hope that helps.

@Mrs. Microscope: my husband and I tried o et pregnant for three years before we had a successful pregnancy with our oldest daughter. The same year I was pregnant, his younger brother announced his engagement (and wedding date) to his girlfriend.

The bride-to-be was quite jealous that I was pregnant and asked me to hide my belly at their wedding. They didn't want children, and saw their college graduation and wedding at their only major life celebrations - and our pregnancy was stealing their wedding day thunder.

I tell you this story because I was baffled then, and I am baffled now. I responded to them by saying no one cares as much about your pregnancy as you do, and no one cares about your wedding as much as you do. They're both exciting, major events in your life... but you're likely not the only person to experience these events, and you certainly won't be the last. Just as my pregnancy was thrilling to me, their wedding was thrilling to them; and I can promise you no one gave my 28-week belly a second glance at their ceremony or reception.

No one is stealing your metaphorical thunder. You aren't entitled to nine months of being the only pregnant person in your circle, and your pregnant isn't any less special because someone you know happens to be pregnant at the same time.

@Mrs. Microscope: Sounds like the experience is just a little anticlimactic in a way? And maybe it's more of a feeling like you one by one participated and got excited for them, and now that they all have kids already, and you have to "share" your pregnancy, it doesn't quite feel reciprocal? I could understand that. It didn't happen to me, but I could see that maybe just feeling "off." Maybe if you give it time it will pass, especially as you start to get ready for your shower!

I didn't say it in my first post but having infertility for the past 3 years, I totally get having jealous tendencies that can happen at anytime. I get it.

But for me, I had to get over that friends and family were going to get pregnant with the first or 9th child and that there was nothing I could do about it. The universe just dealt me a bad deck of cards. Yeah, I cried, got pissed, and avoided certain friends.

Now that I am pregnant, all I care about is being pregnant. Perfect timelines don't apply to me. Most of my family and friends have 2-3 kids now. I can't tell them to stop TTC. I can't freeze time or go back in time.

I do try to keep my head level by remembering all of my friends that are still waiting for their miracle baby. Some friends have been waiting 5+ years. I think of them often. My 3 year journey was hard but I know their journey has been even harder.

Anyway, what I would tell my jealous past is to vent and scream all you want. Have your own little pity party. Don't hold back the tears. Have a good cry. Eventually you'll come out of it and it will be a new (better) day.

I understand how you feel and applaud your sense of awareness in recognizing that it's not entirely rational or warranted. Feelings are feelings and what's important is how you deal with them.

I think others have pointed out the important things, that being pregnant is really just a blip in your life radar whereas having a child is a much longer commitment (LOL) so having a friend who will have a child so close in age to yours is awesome!

I've had irrational jealous reactions about things, not pregnancy-related but other silly things (like being a bridesmaid, which I have never been!) so I get it. I think what's important is that you acknowledge how you feel, figure out a few ways to deal with it, and then move on.

Congrats on your pregnancy, btw!

I'm going to chalk this one up to pregnancy hormones. At least I hope. No one needs to put their life on hold so you can be the only one pregnant. I wish I had friends that were having babies around the same time as me!

I was so excited for dear friends who were pregnant at the same time as me. It meant that someone could commiserate, which was awesome!

Yeah, I would totally focus on the positives! The year my daughter was born, 4 of my BFFs also had kiddos! My friend and I announced to the group on the same day! Everyone was crying and so excited. I've loved having them right on my heels to send texts and say, is this crazy or normal?! And they are right there with me. The second time around, 2 of us are pregnant at the same time again and it's fun to compare and contrast. I get where you're coming from, but there is so much good and fun with having someone else to be in the trenches with!

@Mrs. Microscope: I just wanted to chime in and say that I get it! When I was pregnant with LO#1, I was really excited, and then I found out that my SIL was pregnant with her third (and practically had the same due date) and another of DH's cousins was also pregnant and due a few weeks later. I had the feeling that it was not as "special" and I just tried to work through that and move on.

I think it is okay to acknowledge how you feel and give yourself some grace about it, and eventually appreciate all the positives of this situation that others have pointed out. In our case, I still felt like the center of attention at my shower even though the other two pregnant gals were there and having kids so close together has given SIL and I more to talk about (we are not very close). If she were a friend prior to pregnancy, I think it would be much better.

Hugs, mama!

@anonysquire: cute!!!!

@anonysquire: This looks like a mini version of my closest friend group's kids! Except picture that many 2/3 year olds and then just as many babies.

Being pregnant with friends is awesome. And it's so nice once the baby actually comes because you're all working on a similar schedule. I agree with whoever said that no one cares about your pregnancy as much as you do.

@anonysquire: omg adorable!! How fun.

@Mrs. Microscope: yep I totally get it!!!

I tried to get preg for 2 years and then when we announced my sister also announced baby #4 - I was feeling pretty ugh about the whole thing. This was MY time for once and now I had to share it =(

After a few weeks I got over it and LOVED being pregnant at the same time - we were due 2 weeks apart and it was so fun to do this together. My DS came early so the kids are 5 weeks apart but we refer to them as the "twins" -
fun times!