My son was invited to a joint birthday party tomorrow. The boy who we were invited by (P) is a friend from his daycare (they all went there for three years together, but then separated in September to start kindergarten) that we’ve stayed in touch with - we’re hoping to reunite them in grade 1 at an immersion school. The other boy (E) also went to the daycare, but he and my son were never close and we haven’t stayed in touch with them - we definitely are only invited because of P. Do we need to bring two gifts?
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I’d say two gifts- two different gifts. For P something you know he’s enjoy because you know him better. For the other boy something else even if that means a cool card with a sheet of stickers. Hopefully the kids open presents after the party since I bet the boys will have different gift experiences all around.
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@erinbaderin: I would do what Mrs. mon lime suggested. I have never heard of a joint party that isn’t siblings. They must be very close?
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@Petitduck: I wonder if the families are somewhat close but they knew they would have a lot of crossover on their guest lists.
I agree- regular gift for your friend. Smaller generic gift for the other kid. (Or the same if you are comfortable of course. Just saying you can go easier on that one).
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@Petitduck: I’m not sure - they had a joint party last year too, but then it was because their birthdays were very close, the families were friends, and both boys went to the same daycare. They may be at the same school (and I know they both play hockey) so again with a lot of crossover?
Sigh. Two presents it is. This is a bit galling because we also have to pay for my husband to be there (limited capacity, they offered dropoff but my son is too clingy) so this birthday party is going to cost us like $60! But what can you do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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@erinbaderin: why does your husband have to go? Edited- he’s going and you’re not, but parent chaperones were not invited?
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@erinbaderin: Since you were invited by P only I would only do a gift for him
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I actually would assume you only have to get a gift for the person that invited you....
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I would feel weird not bringing a gift for both birthday kids at a joint party, especially if my child knows them both. Even if he didn't know one, I would still probably send something small like a card with stickers or a coloring book with markers. The party is to celebrate both birthdays, the families are most likely splitting the costs that cover the fun for my child, so I'd want to reciprocate in some way.
Kid birthday party gifts don't need to be that big, if there's two, I see no reason why you couldn't spend $10 each instead of $20 (assuming that's how your $60 amount splits).
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@erinbaderin: They didn't budget space for one adult chaperone per child? I guess it depends on the venue, but at age 5-6 I'd generally assume most kids would want mom or dad to stay (and that most parents wouldn't want to be responsible for that many 5-6 year olds who aren't their own!) I wonder if there is a way that DH can be "at" the venue in case he's needed, like reading on a bench, but outside the party space, so they wouldn't be billed?
Anyway...I'd take something really small - ie a card & sidewalk chalk - for the child you don't really know. Just because it's awkward to be empty handed, but I'd spend like $5 tops. And if I were feeling grumpy, my spending on the child we know well's gift might be lessened a bit due to being asked to pay for DH.
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@erinbaderin: weird! I couldn’t imagine doing a joint birthday party for friends. Just seems complicated, large, and expensive.
I’d just do something quite cheap like people mentioned. Just token-y, but still a small gift even if it’s just a balloon or stickers or something.
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The kids in my DD’s preschool class have birthdays in bunches, so joint parties are very common for us. We split DD’s last party with two other families because the three kids are all less than a week apart and it’s hard for people to make it to multiple parties in one weekend. But the hosts (including us) have always said no presents so we haven’t run into this issue. If it came up, I’d probably do the same as others here are saying, a bigger gift for the kid you know and a small one for the kid you don’t.
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@erinbaderin: how old?? The joint party, having to get a small second gift, doesn’t bother me, but making parents pay to stay for the party does. Unless they are like, 7 maybe? That’s weird.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Right, no spaces were allocated. I kind of get it - it’s an expensive venue with very low headcount limits, which is why we’ve never booked there, but I was surprised for a 5th birthday party, especially a combined one.
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@erinbaderin: I think it’s really unreasonable to have a 5th bday party where parents aren’t welcome to stay. Sure if you want to leave it as an option to drop off, but that’s silly to have to pay to stay with a five year old!
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