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Sorry to hear that your leave might not be as long as you had hoped! Maybe you could talk to your supervisor and just ask him/her about it and see if it's possible to take more than 12 weeks. You might be surprised!

And if it makes you feel any better, I will be going back full-time after 12 weeks, so my kid will be in daycare 50 hours/week as well. So at least they'll be in the same boat.

I have to go back at 8 weeks, I think. I feel your pain. I think my mom is going to come keep the LOs for a few weeks so that they will be at least 12 weeks by the time they have to go to daycare.

As to what @LivsMama: said, just an FYI, a lot of companies make you use your sick/vacation leave consecutively with FMLA, so definitely check how you company handles that.

Fmla only kicks in if you have worked there for at least 1 year and have accrued more than 1250 working hours. I was pt and was 2 hours short of Fmla protection. So find out if you are even eligible for it

I am sorry!! At least you get 12 weeks. I had several friends that had to go back at 6 or 8 weeks. I am taking 6 weeks paid and then 6 unpaid. The leave in the US is total crap. It is going to be hard to take a 12 week old to day care. I am just thankful we can afford, for me to not get paid for the extra 6 weeks, so I can take the 12 weeks. Try and see that silver lining. I know that it is disappointing though.

Going back at 12 weeks is hard, but like many others, I just told myself how lucky I was to have even that. We had the luxury of me being able to take some time unpaid, but if we hasn't I would have been back much sooner.

i feel ya! i also hate that FMLA runs concurrent with disability, which doesn't seem fair to me...but who am i? is there a way to take a personal leave? a woman at my work wasn't eligible for FMLA by the time she had her LO, but she was out for 12 weeks, i'm pretty sure she took the last 4 weeks as a personal leave. doesn't hurt to ask. good luck with everything!

@mrbee: hi mrbee no they didn't purposely keep me 2 hours short. If you work a 24hr work week like i do, in 52 weeks it's only 1248 hours. I didn't realize that requirement until I was about to go out or else I would have picked up an extra shift to put me over, but by the time I was ready to go out I really couldnt fathom doing an extra shift anymore.

I actually went back at 9 weeks, and was really glad that I did.
For one reason, I think it was easier for me to leave LO then than it would have been two months later. We had family around and DH took time off, and LO didn't start daycare till 12 weeks, but at 9 weeks, LO just wasn't fun yet. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't laughing, we couldn't really play... I just didn't feel like I was missing out on a good time. My supervisor took off 6 months with her second kid, and I actually think that sounds harder, in a sad-to-leave-the-baby sense.
Also, at 9 weeks LO was still SO needy, that it was kind of a revelation to have my autonomy back. Even things like being able to go to the bathroom, or eat, or walk around, or check my email, WHENEVER I WANTED, felt so incredibly freeing.
I know that I'm probably in a minority (and generally I love time off work however I can get it), but I really did find that returning to work earlier had some unexpected perks

Do you have any vacation time saved up you can use to add on to it?

I was back at work FT at 7 weeks so you're better off than I was!

Most moms I know that went back, went back at 6 weeks. I'd definitely save at least 1 week of FMLA time in case of something unexpected! I have no other helpful thoughts - but I hope it works out for the best for all 3 of you and your employer is flexible!

@jojogirl: I found out that my state's FMLA is better than the federal FMLA and allows you to get leave after you've worked there for 6 months, so I'm much more confident about switching jobs now. Yay! We will just have to save money to afford not getting paid short term disability while I'm pregnant if I happen to get pregnant before I switch. I hope you are able to figure out a situation that works for you. Once you're willing to tell, I bet your boss may be more open to letting you be gone awhile than you think.