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It's hard leaving work at work. Maybe others can give you some advice

It kills me! I do it all the time. I spent the entire weekend being annoyed about the testing we have to do over the next few weeks...

@creativemomma15: It took me years to be able to leave work at work. I needed to take a relaxing route home and blast the music. I also used to need a glass of wine to unclench my jaw. (No joke.) But now that I'm more experienced at my work, I stress less about what I now know are "small issues". I'm totally able to leave 90% of my work at work now. It just took me about 6 years to do so.

I agree with @MrsMcD: nearly everything is "small stuff" that I once would have worried about. Also though, I think when I was less experienced I was more worried about being perfect because I was less confident and I was building a name for myself. Now I know what people will/will not pay attention to.

I've worked some extremely emotionally draining jobs. The best thing I ever did, When things got tough, was to implement a pre and post work routine that involved visualization. It sounds cheesy, but before work I'd spend some time (while getting dressed, on the drive, whenever you have a minute to take a breath and focus a little) visualizing a "force field" - a golden light (you should find your own image- water, silver, green, whatever comes to you and feels like it holds meaning). This comes from within you and protects the "self" part of you from the damages that stress, work, etc. can bring to us. It collects those things when they fly at us, holding them so that we can deal with them, but not allowing them to penetrate the self. At the end of the day I would roll my window down and literally "brush" my skin off with my hand, and shake it out the window like a bug.

I realize this makes me sound totally crazy but I've worked with various kinds of trauma/interpersonal violence for 10 years now and have managed to avoid being traumatized myself, in part, I think, because I've always taken separating work/home as vital and very serious.

I guess my point is, that you have to do something to distance yourself. When you leave, or when you first get home, there has to be something you do every day, routinely, that signifies to your brain that now you are home, the fragile self can come out, etc. a glass of wine is common and totally great, assuming you don't have any issues with alcohol/substances. I always cleaned my desk before I left, even if that meant shoving stuff in a drawer, and kept detailed to do lists. But the "at home" you, the self, requires protection. When I worked a particularly difficult job I always showered when I got home, and visualized all the junk that my shield had collected just washing down the drain.

Again, sorry I sound totally bananas. I swear I'm not covered in crystals and sniffing essential oils as I write this.

@Silva: I love this! As a fellow social worker, I totally get what you mean and am going to try to be more intentional about using a "shield" like that!

@creativemomma15: when there are little things I remember on the way home, I sometimes send myself an email or call and leave myself a voicemail. Then I know it's "noted" in some way for the next day and I can leave it alone. I also think that time makes it easier to leave work at work but that is my practical advice!

@Silva, I think that's so important and I like your visualization techniques. I've used one that my husband taught me (that he learned from his doctor) about anxiety and worry (particularly since he was deployed, so he needed some coping mechanisms once he got back) regarding putting all your thoughts and concerns in a little box with a lock. One could easily do the same with work stuff.

i struggle with this as well. my son is 18 months old and i started a new job about 2 months ago. i thought the new job's workload would be manageable, but it is INSANE. i can't stay late at the office to finish everything since i'm the after-work daycare picker-upper, so i constantly feel guilty that i'm leaving "early" (even though, technically it's on time). i turn off work when i get home until my son goes to bed and then i usually work more until i go to bed. i'm hoping the workload goes down soon (it's a very busy season for us right now) so i can better manage home life too!