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I think you guys have a lot to talk about on both sides.

Even though I want 3 kids, when my husband brought up a 2nd right after we brought LO home I thought I was going to punch him. 12 weeks isn't much time for adjustment so he's probably still adjusting.

I don't think working out 3 days a week is unreasonable, both me and my husband manage to work out most days (he's a cyclist too) even though he works long hours.

I'd keep the SAHM conversation open, he may be feeling financial pressure of having 2 or more kids on just his salary.

Does he have an indoor bicycle trainer? That helps so much in the winter. I have pictures of LO in her reclining high chair and DH giving her a bottle while he rides on the trainer.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you guys can work it out so you're both happy, it's such a shame you've got all this extra stress during your little boy's first few months. Hugs.

Big hugs!

A new baby is a huge adjustment for everyone, I know my husband has felt neglected and left out of the new "club" that our son and I share multiple times during the past year. There are also times when I resented the hell out of him while he was snoring away and I was rocking a fussy baby.

At 12 weeks pp, neither of us were ready to discuss baby #2, we only just brought it up for discussion at 10 months, feeling like it is something our relationship can handle at this point. I do try to have one night a week that I ignore chores, work, get the baby to bed as soon as possible and we open a bottle of wine and have some grown up time to re-bond as a couple.

One thing that I found works for us, I went back to work one day a week on my husband's weekday off. This gives me a grown up day and them a boy's bonding day- they have good days full of giggles (today) and they have bad days full of tears on both sides(last Wednesday). He definitely appreciates the things I do while he is at work that much more. He also gets the chance to bond, which really started after 6 months when the baby got more interactive.

I know this may not be possible for a full day with his work and racing schedule, but even you getting away for a few hours getting groceries or taking a break. One thing my husband liked was that he could spend time with the baby and figure things out on his own and not have me jump in at every cry and fuss.

I am so so sorry. Reading this filled me with so much sorrow for you.

People may say you have plenty of time but choosing when you have a child is really a truly personal decision based on what you are comfortable with.

I have PCOS and was really open with my now DH that I wanted to have kids ASAP and more than one. I explained my reasoning and he has really understood where I am coming from regarding reduced fertility and complications that rise with age.

He also knows that having once child is something I would never be ok with. If we could not expand our family naturally (I am current pregnant) we would absolutely consider adoption.

I would be shellshocked beyond belief if he turned around and said we couldn't have another and he only agreed to it so we would get married. This is something so serious it would be grounds for annulment (We are Catholic).

I am probably giving all the wrong advice, but as its something so close to my heart too, I would lay it on the line. I would tell my husband that our very marriage was as stake, as it would be in my case. I could accept a change in our timeline, but I could not accept his refusal to have another child and the dishonesty associated with it.

I also do not know how I could trust him ever again. This is not game playing this is your future children. Something that is so obviously close to your heart.

I have certainly given lousy advice but I want you to know I am thinking of you and hoping that you can come to a resolution with your husband.

P.S. You also seem to have been very accommodating to your husbands hobbies and desires. I do not know many other women that would be able to take on all that you have and still run the house, allow DH to keep up his hobbies etc. Most fathers of newborns I know vanish into an abyss for many months.

Thinking of you.

Oh no I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Having a child should be a happy moment in your life, and I just feel like your husband feels like he's lost his importance, that he's put on the back burner (which usually happens when you have kids) and he's being indirectly childish and unfair with you.

I would definitely have a talk about it. Maybe go talk to someone, or couples counseling. (I'm giving this as advice but clearly I have no experience in the matter)

I just want to say that everyone has their issues in a relationship, heck I have my share so don't feel like you are alone. BUt reaching out is a first step. Hugs sweetie. xox

Hey honey....I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know I have read the entire post and all of the replies. I am so here for you and I totally get why you are upset! You have every right to be.
I am glad he is starting to come around though!!!
Of course, I was thinking counseling the whole time I was reading, but if he won't go then....I don't know what on eath else you can do? I pray this all works out and you get your 2nd baby by next year, like you want. I hope you start TTC after New Years like he has said.
I love ya hon...my fall mama! Please cheer up:) You have the most beautiful baby boy in the world! And DH will come around...the relationship just needs a bit of help...everybody needs some help sometimes.

@MrsMccarthy: you are too sweet. Thanks for your well wishes. I know everything will work out. I was thinking that maybe your husband was reacting in a way that mine does sometimes. Sometimes he will get worried about something and instead of talking about it, he focuses on something that is so far from what he needs to be doing. I react in a bad way, but then I realize that he just needs to have a 'moment' and then he will come around to whatever we need to be doing. Hugs!!!