I hoped I would never have to post to this board but I went to my 12 wk OB appt today and there was no heartbeat. It looks like the baby stopped growing around 8/9 weeks.
I know that too many of us on here have been through this and I am hoping to get some support around:
-deciding how to proceed: waiting, medication, d & c?
-how to handle the emotional impact?
bananas / 9973 posts
Oh hun... I'm so sorry. {{{HUGS}}} 
I would probably go with whatever the doctor suggests, but hope for waiting or with medication to avoid a D&C.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I'm so sorry! I would probably opt for a D&C at this point since the baby stopped growing a few weeks ago and you have still not miscarried naturally. I did miscarry naturally so I didn't have to make this decision but I know for me I just wanted things over as soon as possible so I could move on.
nectarine / 2180 posts
I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
It's a very personal decision, but when I experienced loss last year, it was easier for me to have the d&c and just have it be over with. I was given cytotec at first and I spent five days just waiting, not knowing when it would happen or how it would happen. After five days I went back in and they scheduled a d&c for that day. I was glad to have that closure.
Hugs to you, whatever you decide 
pomelo / 5228 posts
My heart always drops when there is a new post to this board. So sorry to see you're going through this If I were in your position, I would opt for the D&C so they can do testing.
The emotional side is rough. I've found that time is the only thing that really helps. But take a few days off of work, hang out with your DH, eat whatever you want and cry when you need to. It will get better, but its going to take a while. We're here for you always.
bananas / 9357 posts
I'm so sorry! This happened to me. I found out at around 12 weeks the baby stopped growing around 6/7 weeks. My doc suggested D&C only b/c they were worried about molar pregnancy and wanted the tissue tested.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big hugs.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I'm so sorry to hear this....
First, take a day or two to just be very angry and upset. After that I wanted to move on quickly which for me was a d&C. My OB recommended it because he said naturally there could be a lot of tissue which could easily result in a lot of pain, discomfort and possibly a trip to the ER if too much bleeding.
kiwi / 633 posts
so sorry for your loss
Do you have a good support system in place? If you're open to counseling there are therapists that specialize in dealing with this kind of loss. Even just to bounce ideas off of... someone who will tell you that your sadness and anger are totally valid and normal. Your husband may need/want to join you too. Just a thought.
Sending lots of healing thoughts your way
eggplant / 11408 posts
I am so, so sorry. I never had to make the decision, because both of mine were natural. But know that we are here for you. Sending you thoughts of healing and peace
pomelo / 5720 posts
I'm so sorry... This actually just happened to me on Tuesday. I was supposed to be 10 weeks and we found out the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. I opted to take the medication because I didn't want to wait for an appointment for the D&C and started taking it as soon as I got home. I'm two days out now and I think the worst was over 8-9 hrs after I started the meds. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.... Sending you lots of hugs.
pomegranate / 3917 posts
@MamaCate: @bushelandapeck: sending you both hugs and thinking about both of you lots
bananas / 9229 posts
((hugs)) I hate seeing this posts and, like others, hoped I would never have had to start my own either... I can't help with advice since we didn't need any of that. Just want to know I'm sending lots of love your way
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I'm so sorry to hear!!! *HUGS*
For me, only time really made things easier. In the meantime, cry when you need to and just let yourself mourn.
persimmon / 1472 posts
I am so so sorry for your loss.
With our first m/c I opted to miscarry naturally but after waiting 3 weeks, the emotional distress was too much and I scheduled a d&C right away. It was easier to try and move on after the physical reminder was gone. Please take your time to heal and feel free to reach out. *hug*
grapefruit / 4049 posts
So sorry to hear this terrible news. Much love and strength to you!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I'm so so sorry. Sending thoughts and hugs your way!
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