My DH and I are so, so done. Logically, I know that we should not have three kids (finances, future expectations, my age, my emotional well-being, DH's career, etc.). But my oldest is starting kinder and my younger is turning 2 this Friday and I'm hurting here!! We've considered adopting later in life if our financial situation is still stable, and that is still an option, but there's a part of me that wants to throw it all out and try for a third. I feel like my body is betraying my mind. Anyone else in this situation that wants to be emotional with me?
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I'm no where ACTUALLY there since DD2 is only 4 months.... But I feel you! I'm 99% sure we're done for similar reasons - finances, quality of life, etc. But since I am all about treasuring the baby stage now and I'm so much less anxious with DD2 than with DD1, I am kinda already missing this stage even though she's still a baby? I almost can't fathom never holding one of these in my arms again! But I know that's totally crazy b/c I can barely handle both of them some days!
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Oh I'm so with you. I don't know if we will try again for a third (I had a d&c at 11 weeks a couple weeks ago). I want to try again but dh does not and that may be it. And I can see his point of view even though my heart is crying out for another baby. If anyone has help for this affliction please let me know
My kids are also 5 and 2 and impending kinder is killing me. It's just so hard because there's no place for the logical and the emotional to meet in the middle. -
Me me me! We're totally done (like, vasectomy done) but my baby is 1 now and I keep thinking about not getting to have this baby stage again and it makes me sad, even though I know how great the upcoming stuff is. Even nursing - I'm still holding on to the morning/night sessions because the thought of not breastfeeding any more makes me weepy.
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I'm not sure if we're done yet but I'm so torn. I know logistically stopping at two would make so much sense for our family. But my baby just turned 1 two weeks ago and oh my heart I want another one.
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Thanks for the responses! I feel a little less alone with this now!! Being done with this part of life is a hard pill to swallow (pun not intended!).
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@bhbee: I'm so sorry about your m/c. I had a m/c between 1 and 2 and it was hard, but it would be so much harder if that were my last pregnancy, and not my middle pregnancy.
Every "last" thing with pre k is killing me. I wanted to cry at their Easter egg hunt. Today is the last day of the last book fair and THAT made me want to cry. Putting his last day of school in my planner made me want to cry.
Ok now I am just actually crying.
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@erinbaderin: damn, I was hoping some sort of permanent birth control would force our body/brain into acceptance.
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We aren't done yet, but this is exactly what I'm afraid is going to happen. Which makes me want to keep popping out babies until I qualify for a reality show or something.
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We are about to start public TK this year at the elem school and that is freaking me out too! When did my baby grow up so much?? I think when we are done I will honestly have to stay off places like HB. We want another but I am also excited for the next phase of easier travel, experiencing holidays with kids who get excited for them, activities beyond the preschool level, etc. I'm hoping within the next couple years I'll feel ready to be done. I think after that I will focus on house projects and try to save to travel more!
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@2littlepumpkins: so I started doing some work and stuff around the house and was like, ohmygah what was I thinking there? Start all over with this stuff? When I'm only one year away from awesome pre k options and getting to work full time and maybe doing some house stuff and not having it immediately get ruined?
This is why I need HB. A place to let my hormones and fear of death run wild for about an hour before my sane brain comes back to run the show.
BTW this is not meant as a dig to those who have three, four, etc.! I just know that the spacing/my age would make it feel like "starting all over again" and that is sort of scary to me.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: with my dh schedule and cost of childcare I only work PT now but I am definitely looking forward to FT too! I am not cut out for SAHM life. PT is nice but I can't really delve in. I hope to meet some mom friends who have older kids when we move this summer!
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I am 100% with you. We are absolutely 10000% done and my youngest is 2.5 now. I'm excited about the stage that we're in (about to go on our first real vacation with the kids) and for my kids to be able to play together and stuff. But I'm also SUPER JEALOUS of one of my best friends' who is pregnant. I want to hold a squishy newborn!
ETA: This must be why grandparents get so excited about new grandbabies. I already hope my kids will have babies and I can't wait to snuggle them!
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I'm with you too. I have three but am suddenly surrounded by babies, my sister in law has a 1 week old, my neighbors have a 5 week old, it seems like every mom at preschool is having another except me. My youngest is 4 and my twins are almost 7 so I'm 99% sure we're done but I empathize.
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Selling my baby stuff this weekend and a yard sale and looking back at this post! Feeling awfully sad about it, but it doesn't make me want another.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: just read through this for the first time--so reassuring that other people agonize over it too
I am really jealous of couples who just have total harmonious clarity about how many kids they want, be it zero or four.
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@Mrs. Sketchbook: completely understand how you feel. I know it makes more sense that we will be a two and done family
but I always imagined 3.... -
I had crazy baby fever when my youngest son turned 2 and my older son was starting junior kindergarten. I actually cried myself to sleep the night before his first day of school because I was so sad my first baby was growing up. Well I got pregnant with #3 that week haha! She is her now, 3 weeks old and my husband has a vasectomy scheduled later this summer. I'm already feeling sad that I'll never have another baby and like I literally still have stitches in from having her LOL. I def do not want 4 kids, 3 was really pushing it for us. But I def can relate to having baby fever even if you know your family is complete
I am really jealous of couples who just have total harmonious clarity about how many kids they want, be it zero or four.
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