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I had such a hard time my first holiday not with my family. I really thought I was ok until it was the day of and things didn't feel as special and I got really upset. One thing that helped me was to pick the traditions that are most important to me and kind of insist on them, then trying to go with the flow with the rest. The hardest part, but most important for me, was th switch my thinking to DH being my family, and my siblings and parents as my SIDE of the family- so it's nice to spend the holidays with my side, but no matter what I spend the holiday with MY family, Dh and now my DDs.

But still it's a really hard adjustment!

@JennyG: Sounds like a good plan! Going to see Christmas lights is something my family always did together so we've tried to make that a tradition with LO. Last year he slept! But he loved it this year.

I totally know how you feel! We celebrated this year sans family as mine are overseas, and DH family lives two hour flight away. Plus they don't celebrate it much at all & while they do gift LO the season is without any of the other fun I'm used to!

I read an article recently about the actual transition to adulthood being the moment you have to organise Xmas and go behind the curtain, so to speak. Which sounds silly, but I think rings true for me! The first time I had to do the meal planning and everything myself (in a town without close family) - I struggled and was very sad! But this year was lots better as LO was older. And getting used to thinking of our family unit being the new normal. But still, it's hard! Good luck this year!

Definitely make your own traditions! We never have any other family to celebrate with so we're still working this out, too. Thankful for my little family of 4 though. On the flip side, we never have any of the associated family stress during the holidays. It's just us and we have the freedom to do whatever we want!

I struggle with this as well. This year Christmas Eve and Christmas day is with the in-laws, and tomorrow we'll go to my parents'. At first we were supposed to do a pot luck for Christmas, but then I was informed we were ordering Chinese food instead and I almost started crying. Pregnancy hormones may or may not have contributed . But to me, you do not eat Chinese food on Christmas unless you're Jewish.

Christmas is a day to have a wonderful home cooked meal and a beautiful desserts and cookies. Plus, I can't eat Chinese food while pregnant because it makes my blood sugar go crazy. But no one knows I'm pregnant yet. So I get to bring along my own food to dinner tonight!

So anyways, no advise just commiseration.

I'm sorry I remember my first Christmas away - it was very difficult because my family sounds like yours - lots of traditions and lots of family. I found it hard missing that. Not a lot of advice, just hugs!

I'm sorry! I've only missed one Christmas with my family and it was really hard.

Even this year is weird for me. My parents moved to our city, which is AWESOME. Plus my grandma passed away this last year (not awesome). As thrilled as I am to not have to travel for Christmas for the first time ever, and as excited as I am that our LO will grow up getting to have Christmas in her own home every year.... it feels weird. I am missing the craziness of travel a little. I'm definitely missing seeing my extended family (who aren't even gathering this year because without my gram to keep us together everyone sort of just scattered). We're having a lovely Christmas and my parents and brother/sister in law came over last night and this morning-- but it is just DIFFERENT and a bit of a bummer. But I'm mostly just focusing on the good-- being with family, our LO opening presents. Change is hard but eventually celebrating this way will feel normal.