I’m a little shocked she got a ticket. I feel like she did the best she could do in that situation.
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That's crazy. Although I got into a discussion with a police officer about allowing my 2 year old to pee on a potiette (on a cloth diaper) at a park with no public restroom nearby. Apparently that isn't allowed, but changing a kid's diaper is. I pointed out the ridiculousness of the logic
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The fuck? A warning wouldn’t have sufficed? I hope the court throws it out.
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That is so ridiculous.
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Wow, that’s shocking! I let my then 2 year old pee outside at a rest area when he was terrified of public bathrooms, it didn’t even occur to me that it would be considered the same as an adult.
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Yikes! I would have so been in jail when DS was younger. That is insane. I am glad and surprised to know this officer has never never ever urinated in public when he was a toddler.
Maybe he's an alien from space that he isn't familiar with human children / development as he has never been one? Sorry for going crazy but this just doesn't make sense to me at all.
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Oh please.
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Wow, my kid has peed in public at the park beside a tree countless times. And also in a grocery store parking lot and my driveway. I’m so surprised.
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I'd be guilty. DS peed on a tree yesterday.
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Wow! He could have given a warning but even that is too much in my opinion.
My DS has peed in many outdoor places. Sometimes they just can’t wait or there isn’t a washroom close enough.
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I actually do think she deserved a ticket. I don’t like teaching boys that they can urinate anytime they want. We expect our girls to be able to hold it but not our boys...
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@Purpledaisy: my kid is a girl. I don’t expect her to be able to hold it, or any child to. If they need to pee they need to pee. I actually think it’s outrageous that someone would punish the child or parent of a child who is under 5 for peeing in public. Obviously try to conceal, but isn’t it better that your child didn’t have to experience soiling themself?
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@Purpledaisy: Girl mom over here. If there isn’t a bathroom (or if it’s a grungy one...or if it’s summer and we’re at home), they pop a squat.
I feel like most places weren’t built with families with children in mind so half the time you don’t have an option, and there are plenty of situations where it’s unavoidable (road trips, for some reason public playgrounds where I live...).
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@Purpledaisy: Glad to know your children have strong bladders! Not all very young kids do. Of course I it is not OK for an older kid who can reasonably hold it, but for a 3 years old and that news story? I think it is understandable. It is not like he was peeing in the middle of a shopping mall.... I still remember that time when DS was way younger, when he said he needed to go you gotta start running lol, and you gotta know where the bathrooms are at all times. Thank God not anymore (!)
Even I remember I peed outside in a couple of places when I was a young child (and I am a girl) -- once was in the middle of a dead lock traffic. I really had to go but there was nowhere to go. My dad kept a small bucket in the car for that reason lol (way back when portable potty wasn't a thing). The other time my dad spent a lot of time circling to find a parking spot. We parallel parked on the street and I really had to go, there was no bathroom in sight that we could run to. My mom blocked me from sight and I relieved myself at the curb where there was a sewage right underneath our car ... Did I ever do that when I became bigger and was able to hold it? Of course not! Who wants to pee in public?
But it was when I was very small and I truly couldn't hold it, maybe 2 or 3-ish.
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@Purpledaisy: I have a girl and a boy and they both have peed in our portable potty when we’re on the go. I never have said it’s ok for my boy and not my girl. I’d actually prefer no one pee outside but they’re little kids. And in my area public urination is a $1000 ticket. Doesn’t seem fair.
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@Purpledaisy: no one on here said it was ok for boys to do it and not girls. I actually remember my dad helping me get a little privacy between the car doors when I just couldn’t hold it and wait for a toilet.
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That whole thing is just absurd. The mom is facing jail time for letting her kid pee in the parking lot? So it would have been better to just let the poor kid pee his pants?
@Purpledaisy: I don't think she was letting him go where ever he wanted. He had to go right this second not in 60 seconds when they could get to the bathroom. We carried a portable potty for my daughter when she was potty learning because small kids don't have alot of time between "I have to go" and peeing their pants.
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My 4 year old would 100% rather pee her pants than pee in random public space lol. But IMO this is crazy. Do people have no compassion, empathy, understanding?? I'm sure there are parents out there who intend on teaching their kids it's okay to urinate anywhere. But probably 99% of parents out there only do it when it's the absolute last resort. And c'mon, a 3 year old? At most it should have just been a warning, if anything at all. There are so many other things people should be punished for; this is not one of them.
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@Purpledaisy: I don't think it's ok to teach kids to pee outiside either. Sure, there are emergencies, but I think it's gross that people let their kids pee in their yards or pee on trees at the park. When my kids were potty training, we would put them in pull-ups if I thought there was a chance that we might not be near a bathroom.
I think a warning would have sufficed in this situation, but I'm also surprised at how many people let their kids pee wherever.
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@Purpledaisy: This is not a girl/boy thing. It's a potty-training 3yo thing.
But I'm up for questioning the gender dynamics at play here. Would the boy's father have gotten a ticket for his young son who couldn't make it to the bathroom? We'll never know... although 5 min on google brings up 4 instances (including this one) of mothers receiving tickets or warnings from police, but only 1 instance of a father warned
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@kiddosc: I am just trusting that majority of parents would only do it as a last resort. And sometimes life happens. We were at the park over the weekend, the normal restrooms we use were locked. I literally ran around with my 4 year old to find another restroom and she really only held it in b/c she absolutely refuse to pee anywhere but in a bathroom, and also refused my offer to put on her sister's pull-up. We ended up okay but in that one instance, I would've let her pee somewhere sort of hidden if she agreed to it.
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@kiddosc: @graceandjoy: Same here! After DS was potty trained he absolutely refused to just sat there and pee in his pants even though he had a pull up on for long trips. Rough times.
Not to mention children has dignity too. I know for a fact that DS would NOT be willing to relieve himself anywhere other than a bathroom IF he could control it. One time we were stuck in traffic, we were literally minutes away from home but traffic wasn't moving. He whined he needed to go to the bathroom. There was a little turn out that is a stretch of nowhere and it leads to the retention pond. I said well, I could turn in here and you could pee over by that tree, or you can hold it for hopefully a little bit longer and we get home. What do you think? He said I'll hold.
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@irene: Haha I know! Sometimes I just want to be like it's okay!! Just pee your pants this one time!! LOL!
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@graceandjoy: I know quite a few people where this is not at all a last resort. Where their kids run into the woods as soon as we get to the park because it's fun to pee there or who frequently just pee in their residential backyard. I put my kids in pull-ups as a precaution sometimes, but like yours, they typically would refuse to use them... and they've successfully held their bladder until we could get to a bathroom. It sucks to leave the park, or interrupt play to go find a bathroom, but sometimes that what you have to do. I get it that emergencies happen... but I know way too many people that have no contingency plan and think it's no big deal.
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@kiddosc: Ugh, that's horrible! I would feel very jaded too if I were you who've seen it happen all too often.
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@kiddosc: @Purpledaisy: I can see both sides of this too! A ticket was probably a bit much but I know plenty of people who encourage their boys to pee outside whenever they have to go (not emergencies or gross public bathrooms, that’s different) and I’m not a fan. This is at the forefront of my mind bc a friends lets her boy pee wherever and he recently peed in the plants next to my garage at her suggestion....I have a perfectly good bathroom in the house!
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@kiddosc: OK I see your dilemma then... maybe I don't know people who would actually do this when it is not an absolute emergency with no solution... Maybe the cop himself is also surrounded with friends and family members who would pee everywhere so he can not just issue a warning lol.
@MADISON43: Oh boy that's gross.
Well, I am warned by this piece of news, that's for sure! I had no idea I could go to jail for this. Glad I don't have a toddler anymore
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We recently had a vent post in my local Mommies group because there were two boys at a local lark that were going around with their pants down, peeing on multiple trees and their caregiver wasn’t stopping them.
Aside from the emergencies (we have girls, so while we’ve had the occasional accident at the beginning of potty training, I haven’t ever encouraged them to pull down their pants in public and go—we live in an urban area), but I do have s general problem with both human and dog pee in areas where kids play. Just lately, I’ve witnessed some bad dog-owner behavior (someone let their enormous dog pee on our front steps—and it was a lot of pee and we walk there, come on. Then a neighbor I actually know let her Great Dane pee on the water foundation at the park—again, a huge volume of pee and kids are always playing around it. And I think it’s bad owner/parent behavior. It’s one thing if at an emergency and you take your kid off to a secluded area. I would do that in an emergency.
But I have seen little boys peeing right off the sidewalk on busy streets and once a couple years back a mom washed out her kid’s pee pants (he’d had an accident) at the park in the water fountain all the kids were playing in—hard to explain, but it’s like a pump water feature and she was washing out pee pants upstream while the kids were splashing around in the water 5 ft downstream. Even if it doesn’t bother you for your kids to play around in someone else’s pee, surely most people realize that many of us wouldn’t like it? A travel potty is fine with me. Peeing in a secluded area where people don’t walk or play is fine with me. Letting your kids/dogs pee in well used areas bothers me a lot! Yes, it’s preferable to me that the kid has an accident than to pee on someone else’s front steps and yes, I would 100% carry pee pants home to wash (and have done that) rather than wash them out in a park water feature where kids are playing.
However. Apparently adults really diverge on this issue because I mentioned the pee-pants situation in a similar thread once and there were a lot of responders saying it’s not a big deal. Although the evil side of me wants to drop trou on their balcony or whatever and test how cool they are with it when it’s where their kids play.
Jail time is way too much. But a verbal warning about finding a better secluded spot would be fine in my book.
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@Anagram: Solid points. This reminds me of a similar debate that rocked our house in college - okay/not okay to pee in the shared shower? (I'm in the no camp)
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I can’t respond to everyone individually and I didn’t know this was going to be such a hot topic! I do have sympathy for the mom but at the same time if she had a girl instead would she have let her do the same?
I have many friends with boys and they are much more likely to let them urinate in public places. I have never seen anyone let their daughter “pop a squat” instead of finding a bathroom. Even at my house friends have told their boys to pee on our side yard... I’m like the bathroom is right inside!!
I don’t think this deserve jail time or anything, but I think a small fine would be acceptable.
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@kiddosc: yeah, no! My son is learning that pee goes in the potty. I am definitely not teaching him let alone encouraging him to pee just anywhere because it’s convenient. He’s also self-learning modesty. So unlike your friend’s kid with your plants mine would be totally aghast if he had an audience.
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@Purpledaisy: my issue is that the mom in the article was trying to get her kid to a bathroom. This wasn't like the cop watched her at the park tell her child oh just pee on the tree over there.
I also would be upset if anyone suggested that their child should just pee in my yard, boy or girl.
And I absolutely would shield my little girl as best I could and let her pee in a parking lot if I thought the options were pee in pants or outside. My little gets very upset when she has an accident and I am also very pregnant so picking her up and running her inside is absolutely not possible.
I don't think anyone in this thread is saying that encouraging your kid to pee outside/in public is desirable, merely that it should not be something that a mother is facing jail time for when it was an emergency
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I agree that an actual ticket is ridiculous. Also agree that some people definitely are more lenient with letting their kids pee outside. Personally I think it’s a little gross- my friend let’s both her kids- boy and girl- pee in their packyard. Her husband does this too! Their backyard isn’t THAT big. But it’s their house so they can do what they want.
I have let me daughter’s pee outside when we didn’t have a good option, including in a parking lot. My same friend used to let her son pee on a tree in the public playground where there was no public bathroom. He had a small bladder and definitely couldn’t have made it home so the alternative was just never going to the playground (we lived in the city and had no yards then).
But I have to tell you this! My then just turned 5 year old took swim lessons at a local lady’s house. I always made her pee right before we got there, but one day she just really had to go. The teacher was like, sorry I don’t have a bathroom she can use and my cleaning lady is here. She can pee in that corner of yard where my dog pees. So I had to hold her up so she could pee on the gravel like this woman’s dog. How do you run swimming lessons in your backyard pool without a bathroom for kids to use? And she was a great swimming instructor but I couldn’t believe that!
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@Foodnerd81: that’s absurd
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@Foodnerd81: I can't help but to react to your friend who her kids AND her HUSBAND pee in the backyard HAHAHA!!!! Oh my Lord.... So if you drive by it smells like a public toilet?! I wonder what if they go through something like a remodeling. Our estimate always include a rented porta-john outside (because we didn't want all the construction workers come in and use our bathroom). They'd be like screw that we'll save that money, all the construction workers can pee in my yard! HAHAHA!!
And the swimming teacher is strange but in a strange way I can understand... if she teaches regularly, that means she has to host a lot of wet kids peeing in her own bathroom. While girls pee IN the toilet, boys do have aiming problems. Not to say the messes to endure with the wet trails going from the swimming pool to the bathroom and back. But yes, that's really strange to instruct your child to pee in the lawn, DS would NEVER EVER be able to do that, I would have to find another teacher if that were the case.
After reading all of the above, I find that I am very civilized lol. How can anyone instruct anyone to pee anywhere in close proximity to someone's home? That's almost like a prank or a trick you are playing on someone you hate.
@Purpledaisy: Hmm.... I kinda see your point now... yes, it would be odd to see a girl squat and urinate in the gas station parking lot... but maybe it was more toward the back and no one can see, and absolutely no solution I *could* imagine that? Cuz if I had a girl, she's 2 years old and she absolutely HAD TO go, I were super pregnant, I'd probably do that
When I read the story I am not imagining the kid peeing right at the front entrance. But who knows maybe he was lolThis whole discussion makes me worry. If it were OK for soooo many people to just pee outside of people's property / pee everywhere around the park, does that mean people would think it were OK to pee in a public swimming pool?
I mean this never come across my mind but I also didn't know people would pee everywhere in the lawn/ park and thought it was OK.
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@irene: lol I think people for sure pee in public swimming pools
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@irene: oh yes, people definitely pee in public pools. Kids who just don’t want to get out, lazy adults... not to mention swim diapers don’t contain the pee at all, only poop. That’s what the chlorine is for!
And yeah I totally understood her reasoning, but also... I was paying a fair amount for the lessons. Can’t that include a cleaner for her bathroom?? I actually was wishing my kid would have just quietly peed in her pool!
And her backyard does not smell a toilet. I find it bizarre but it’s her yard. And her husband wants to- she’s not telling him to pee outside, he wants to. He goes into the woods behind the yard. They also are positive their lawn guys pee in the woods behind their house.
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@Purpledaisy: @Foodnerd81: Great. Swimming will never be the same again. I hope high end hotel pools are better? How can there not be any warning signs (do not pee in the swimming pool lol) when it seems that everyone (but me) kinda commonly acknowledged the "fact"....? Just like noise-free / smoke free sections in a train / restaurant..etc can there be a urine-free pool? I am truly disturbed.
@Foodnerd81: Coming to think about it maybe the wife didn't want to clean the bathrooms so she send everyone out to the yard
. Dang pretty good idea actually. Clean bathrooms is half the battle to a clean house, saves energy and water on flushing too
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@irene: a couple weekends ago at my mom’s pool LO told me he needed to pee and I was ready to take him to the bathroom, but she was like are you kidding??? LO complied with peeing in the pool. Lots of people pee in the pool.
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@Foodnerd81: In our old house we had decorative lighting installed and the guys jumped a fence into a preserve behind our house to pee instead of asking to use the bathroom.
But it was when I was very small and I truly couldn't hold it, maybe 2 or 3-ish.
I mean this never come across my mind but I also didn't know people would pee everywhere in the lawn/ park and thought it was OK.
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