The LO didn't want to go anywhere near daddy this morning, which is pretty unusual. We gave her some breakfast and that seemed to calm her down. Maybe she was deliriously hungry! Anyway, DH never seems phased when these things happen. He seems to think that it is completely natural that the LO wants to be with me more. I was just thinking that if the tables were turned - I would feel slightly hurt. Are you ever hurt if your LO wants to be with the other parent more? What about your SO?
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I don't have a child yet, but I think I would be hurt. I get sad when our dog chooses to curl up next to DH instead of me, I usually call her a traitor!
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Lo used to only want me at bedtime, and my husband was very understanding about it. But I wanted to cry for him, and I know id be devastated if it was me.
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DH loves her daddy lately - even getting up in the morning and calling for him downstairs, even though I'm just in our room and closer! I think that it's due to my pregnancy, I'm not as active with her as I used to be so he picks up a lot of the play time.
Plus, downstairs is where the TV and cereal are!It doesn't bother me too much but I hope it doesn't last too long. I think things shift over time.
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LO will only fall asleep and eat if I'm the one doing those things with her. She screams every time DH tries. I feel bad for DH because he wants to help and he gets fustrated when she won't cooperate for him but I have to remind him that I'm the one that never leaves her side. I do all those things through out the day so she's just use to me. I think it does hurt him but she will grow out of it. I think by the time shes two shes going to be a daddys girl!
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@volksgirl64: it is sad but maybe it will be easier if she has a daddy preference once the baby comes?
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charlie is big time into daddy these days. he calls for him any time he wakes up. sometimes when i'm putting him down for bed, he says, "i want daddy." (charlie listens to me better at bedtime. my theory is kids listen least to their primary caretaker.)
but there are times he still asks for me, esp when he's sick. i don't mind because i think it makes all the hard parenting stuff easier for mr. bee since charlie loves him so much!
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Even though LO is only 8-months old and has no idea what she's saying, it hurts my sensitive soul when she only babbles "baba" (Chinese), "ah-bah" (Korean), and "dada" (English). The day she wants only to be with the hubs is when I will hide under my bed and cry!
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Charlie goes back and forth with his preference... I prefer him not to play favorites, so actively discourage a daddy preference.
I used to get sad when Charlie didn't want me around, but then he got on Team Daddy and that was a lot more work! So now I don't mind it as much if he changes teams for a while!!
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@Rubies: whoa! She says dad in 3 languages!
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@mrbee: do you also discourage a mommy preference? Do you work towards eliminating both preferences?
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It doesn't hurt my feelings when LO prefers her dad. We're both her parents so I'm sure she'll flip flop for many years to come.
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@Andrea: I think we both kind of discourage preferences. It just creates a lot less flexibility, especially with two kids.
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@mrbee: i agree. even though DH isn't with her all week, she doesn't mind him doing things for her on the weekends since we've gotten her used to the idea that daddy is with her during that time and mommy is getting other things done.
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@Andrea: that's a good point and I'm sure it's true. I just hope she understands what's going on when baby comes and it's not that mommy doesn't love her or anything.
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@volksgirl64: i know, hopefully she'll be excited about her new sibling and won't feel too much jealousy and continue to enjoy her daddy time.
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My LO alternates between who she favors on a given day. lately it has been me but we recently switched who is doing daycare dropoff/pickup and I think that has played into it. DH loves that she seeks him because for whole time I was BF she preferred me.
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mine went through a phase where it seemed like he HATED daddy. he would scream and cry when his dad came to pick him up. it was really sad and i'm sure it hurt my husband's feelings. it only lasted about a week. then he went through a phase where he wouldn't want to leave his nanny for me...it bothered me a little bit but i'm also really glad he's so attached to his nanny. both of these episodes happened when he was sick, so he was already kind of fussy and cranky.
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LO hasn't really chosen preferences yet. She's 7.5 months now. When does that typically happen? I guess I shouldn't say she hasn't shown a preference at all. When she's upset/hungry she naturally goes to me, knowing that I'm the one who can nurse her. I kinda love it. How bad is that? The tables will turn though, I should just soak it up now.
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@BabyLove: that is how my LO showed a preference when she was younger, too, by not letting the DH feed her a bottle but she would take it from me.
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My hubby is a SAHD, DS is only 3.5 mos old but already they seem to have a very special relationship. It doesn't bother me, I'm sure there will be days that he will prefer daddy and I'm sure it will make me sad but DH and I each have our own unique relationship with him. I'm glad he has a father who loves him and takes good care of him!!
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