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My spirited, mama's girl (I was a FT SAHM) became a big sister at a few weeks past her 3rd birthday. I worried the same, struggled during pregnancy unable to care for her the way I usually could, and sometimes things were rough. Thankfully we did have some help through the transition and she spent a lot of time with grandma. But I absolutely do not regret having another. (We're now expecting #3 and I have a similar set of worries about the flow of things being disrupted but I trust now it will be ok.) They adore each other. Yes, there are disagreements and times I feel like a referee. But overall I know my daughter's life is better for being a sister. We are moving to a bigger house and they will room share for now because she WANTS to. And frankly the reduction in attention has probably actually been good for her, too. She is less anxious than she was a couple years ago, she is being forced to learn to wait for things that she wants or keep trying to do things herself that she would have usually already run to us to do for her. Plus, she still has some solo time with us, and goes to school with big kids. She wants #3 to be a "big brother, not a baby" though, lol.

I didn't really worry about it, because I'm one of 6 and it's just not something I think matters in the long run (to me personally, I mean)....but I think it's very common to have that worry. Most of my friends have!

In our case, our oldest never displayed jealousy or had regressions or anything that people talk about. Months later, when LO2 was mobile and crawling and grabbing toys, it started our current era, where I have to do a bit of refereeing and modeling behaviors, BUT I think those are skills all children need, so I think it's very good for them in the long run to not have all my undivided attention, to learn how to play with each other, to learn how to share toys and facetime with parents.

All in all, it's been the best thing ever. My girls are SO CLOSE. My youngest worships her big sister. She sometimes calls out for big sister in the night! And big sister is the first person she wants to see in the morning and the last person she wants to hug at night. They are really, really cute together.

I think it depends so much on the age gap and the eldest child's temperament. My daughter was 22 months old when our second daughter was born, and she never showed a moment of jealousy or had really any issue as far as sharing attention. She's always been on the quiet, calm, and shy side of things. Will be interesting to see now this third time around since she will be 4 1/2 and the youngest will be 2 1/2. I'm hoping my oldest will be a good example since my youngest is a little more of a spit-fire.

I was so stressed by this. I felt guilty during my pregnancy because I wasn't excited for having a new baby, I just worried about whether I'd ruined B's life. My fears were unfounded, though. B was 26 months when his little brother was born and we actually didn't have any problems with the transition at all. The two of them love each other like crazy.

It also helped me to remember that I have a little brother two years younger, one of my mom's favourite stories is that when they brought him home I looked at him for a few minutes and then asked that they "take him back to his mommy", and I don't remember anything about when he joined the family, so clearly I wasn't too affected by it.

I really worried about this too, and tbh lo2 is only 3 months and it's still a hard transition, although I don't know how much is just normal threenager behavior since she throws fits at school when she doesn't get her way too! None of her tantrums are geared directly at the baby-- she loves her and is so sweet. But there is a lot of "needing" me "now" when I'm bfing or helping out baby to bed-- huuuge mama preference and tantrums when I can't help her even though I give her lots of 1-on-1 attention

I'm currently going through this transition. DS will be 3 next week and DD is 1 month. I was so scared for DS because he was always use to having DH and my attention. I'll be honest the first two or three weeks were tough. SOOOO yes, this week has been the only week that he's been super chill about his little sister. At first he was throwing fits and getting wild, then he was just trying to love on us (hard) while we had the baby, and now he baby talks to her (he thinks we're silly for baby talking to her) and loves her up. Whose to say it'll stay this way but I'm so happy he's been better about this. I think for me the biggest problem was transitioning from 1 kid to 2! DS's feelings aside, taking on an extra kid is like taking on 5!

@CatchAFallingStar: DD was 4.5 when DS was born. Yes there are times when she feels like she is being left out or she isnt getting the amount of attention she wants. But honestly she loves having a play mate already and I make sure to tell her she will be always the #1 since she came first and is older he will always be #2 because he came second. she likes hearing that. She also likes to be very helpful so we do things together and sometimes i make a point of telling him to wait his turn and putting her first. I also remind her when we get treats that he cant have them yet so she is getting something special that he isnt getting

I would literally cry with worry about this. My kids are the same spacing as yours would be. As much as I worried, it all worked out in the end.

@CatchAFallingStar: DD and D'S are 22 months apart, I worried so much and the new norm and her reaction to DS, I cried on the way to hospital when we left!

But....it has truly been Amazing! DD absolutely loved him and she is now his favorite person at 7 months old!

I was very worried about this, too. Our son was 4 when his little sister was born and he used to comment when I was pregnant that he didn't want a baby in our family and that it wasn't fair because nobody had asked him. We bought him a gift from the baby that was waiting for him when we got home from the hospital and it was a ride-on power wheels car that he had been coveting (he constantly whispers into her ear thank-you's for getting him his "Jeep" ). We also took the suggestion of many and didn't always run to her if he needed something. We would tell her "Wait just a minute, DD, while we help your brother go potty and then we can help you", which made him feel like we weren't always putting her needs first. I think now (after 6 months) he is totally smitten with her. When she slept in this morning, he said at breakfast that he felt sad that she wasn't there with us. It's an adjustment for sure for everyone but I honestly kept telling myself that a sibling really was a gift in the long run. I can't imagine my life without my siblings.